UPDATE: My Dad came to my apartment with gifts for two young kids. I do not have any kids.
A woman updates on her father’s health after a traumatic incident. He sustained a severe concussion, likely due to an altercation with her uncle, and was ignored by family members until she found him in a hospital.
Despite the severe injury, the woman’s family has shown little concern, leaving her feeling isolated and overwhelmed. She reflects on her regrets and the lack of support from those who should have been there for her father. Read her full update below.
‘ UPDATE: My Dad came to my apartment with gifts for two young kids. I do not have any kids.’
TLDR: Located my Dad, I’m with him in the hospital. He has serious brain damage from a “fall”. I don’t think he fell but what do I know. Hi everyone. I wanted to wait until I had more information to post an update, but a lot of people were seriously worried about my Dad and I, so I wanted to let everyone know what happened.
I finally found my Dad. My Uncle took him to the hospital the night of the incident, and was (for reasons I’ll get to) ignoring our calls and texts. Anyone who bet on head injury and drugs, you’re correct. You can cash out your chips at the front counter haha. There was no second family. I wish there was. My Dad would just be in drama-related trouble and not medical trouble. He’s got a massive concussion and serious brain damage.
Doctors don’t know how he managed to even drive to my apartment safely. They think he was on autopilot, since he takes that freeway nearly every day. The phantom kids are his coworkers. His brain somehow blended the details of his coworkers life into his own.
Coworker has a daughter who is married and has two kids, and the memories of being told about “the girls” mashed together with memories of his own daughter. Doctor says this is pretty common with head injuries.
My Uncle *did* find my Dad and take him to the hospital. He did drive out to my area and scour the place looking for my Dad, and eventually found his car outside Walmart around 10pm. Couldn’t find him outside, but did find him out behind the building, harassing an employee for a cigarette.
He grabbed my Dad and kind of dragged him into the car and took him to the hospital. He just decided not to update anyone because “He didn’t want to stress us out”. I don’t believe him at all. I think my Uncle is responsible for what happened to my Dad and was avoiding us out of guilt.
After I posted here, I went to work and once I was clocked out I went to my Dad/Uncle’s place. Dad and Uncle’s cars were gone, only my Aunt’s was there. I went and knocked but nobody answered.
People in my last post mentioned carbon monoxide poisoning and I was kind of freaking out thinking my Aunt was just f**king dead inside, so I went around the house testing the doors and windows to see if I could get in. The back door was unlocked so I just let myself inside and looked around.
Totally empty. I even checked underneath the beds since a couple people mentioned my Dad could be paranoid or scared and hiding. My aunt has this giant purse and it wasn’t there, which confirmed to me that she was probably with my Uncle.
I went back and sat in my car and started calling any hospitals and jails that came up on Google Maps. Nobody had any answers and just said he wasn’t there. I even called the cops for a wellness check just to see if maybe THEY could call around hospitals and get a different answer, but I waited until 11pmish and literally nobody came.
No police, no family, nobody. I drive back home and try to get some sleep. Next day I call out of work and spend the day driving around my area trying to find my Dad. Couldn’t track him down so I start calling hospitals again.
There’s three in my area and while two of them gave me “No, he’s not here, sorry” one of them got really nervous over the phone and said “I’m not supposed to give out patient information.” I got SUSPICIOUS. Kept asking and she just got more and more flustered.
Hung up and drove my ass over there, and saw my Uncles car in the parking lot. It was kind of late, the sun was down but I wasn’t keeping track of time, so there were only like 5 cars in the visitor area and his was one of them. I do not have words to describe what I was feeling, but it was mostly just rage. Like what the f**k? Hello? He’s been here the WHOLE TIME??
I went in and tried to get the receptionist to let me see my Dad. She didn’t really want to let me, and I’m not proud of it, but I started freaking out. I slammed my hands on the desk, screamed, knocked over a magazine rack.
I guess my tantrum made someone go talk to my Uncle and Aunt since she came out to the waiting room and told the receptionist it was fine to let me through. If she didn’t look so tired and sad I was going to maul her, but the look on her face made me “calm down” (if you can call it that).
Long story short, she took me to my Dad’s room. He looked terrible. None of you know my Dad, but he’s a beast. He’s 5’11 with massive smile lines and bright, shining eyes. He’s my Dad so I’m biased, but he’s always so full of life. Laying in that hospital bed, he looked dead already.
Sunken eyes, lifeless and droopy face. He looked empty. I was able to talk to him for a bit but he was totally out of it. He had to be reminded who I was several times and kept forgetting where he was and why he was here.
Just like my Dad, when I get upset, I get angry. I practically dragged my Uncle out of the room and into the hallway for an explanation. After like 20 minutes of him making excuses and beating around the bush (another reason I think he’s guilty) he told me what happened.
Apparently Monday morning, my Dad “fell” getting out of his car and cracked his head really hard against the driveway. He got up and everyone thought he was fine, so they just went inside the house as normal. After a while he “had a headache” so they gave him “a couple” prescription pain killers to ease the pain.
Apparently that worked so they just let him continue his day as normal. They only got concerned when I called and told my Uncle what happened. He kept being so weird and evasive that I know there’s more, but I couldn’t wring his stupid f**king neck in the hospital hallway so I just let it go.
Here’s what I think happened. I know my Uncle and Dad, and I know the history of this stupid family like the back of my hands. I think my Dad and Uncle got in a fight over something, and Dad was either pushed down or hit in the head by my Uncle.
The altercation gets resolved somehow and they go back to normal, but my Dad’s head still hurts. I learned AT THE HOSPITAL FROM THE DOCTOR that there were enough painkillers in his body to numb a horse, so I suspect my aunt and uncle just kept feeding him painkillers so they wouldn’t need to take my Dad to the hospital and admit what they did.
I pressed my Aunt about the painkillers and she eventually halfway admitted that they weren’t exactly allowed to have them at all, I suspect she bought them off someone else. They’re likely addicted and I just didn’t know.
I’m almost 100% sure this is their fault. If they had taken my Dad to the hospital as soon as he hit his head, he would probably be okay. I’m staying at the hospital now and my Aunt and Uncle have left. Doctor says to “not get my hopes up” about my Dad.
But when doctors say that, it always means he’ll actually be okay right? That’s how it always goes. They tell you that your family member probably won’t make it but they always prove them wrong. I’m sorry, but the rest of this is just going to be venting.
You know what really gets me? I could handle all this, I could understand it. My Uncle and Aunt have always been less than reliable. I can believe that this could come from them. The hardest part is the lack of concern from literally anyone but me. I had to b**ckmail my brother (drama from a year ago) to even get him to agree to fly out.
My mom doesn’t care. Dad’s family doesn’t care. My sister kind of cares but she doesn’t really want to help, or even come support me in the hospital with him. I am just so shocked that I’m the only m**herfucker here for my Dad, and he doesn’t even know who I am right now.
I have to take time off work but it’s not like my job gives me PTO. I’m fucked. My dad is fucked. My life is fucked. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE DEALING WITH THIS?? My brother is the only one of us with time and money to help fix this and I had to THREATEN HIM just to get him to come back home.
I wish I had chased my Dad when he left my apartment. I was afraid of him but I’m even more afraid now. My Dad is probably going to die and I trusted the j**kass who killed him with helping him. Whats wrong with me. Whats wrong with everyone. Why doesn’t anyone give a s**t about my Dad. Why doesn’t anyone give a s**t about me.
I could have been a better daughter to him. I could have visited more, called more, involved him in things more. I could have chased him when he left my apartment. I might have gotten hurt but I would rather be beaten to a pulp rather than be sitting in a hospital room with my unconscious and probably dying father. I’m so f**king stupid. I’m sorry Dad.
Check out how the community responded:
kittycat33070 − Yo definitely get the police involved. Even if the story is true, that he fell, they still pumped him up with pain meds when he couldn’t advocate for himself. It’s like being roofied at a bar.
I hope your dad pulls through. I would cut contact with your aunt and uncle. As a daughter you have more rights to your dad’s care than they do. Ban them from the hospital.
grumpy__g − Calling the cops on your uncle (alone for the illegal painkillers) should be considered. Check your fathers phone. See if the uncle wrote anything. How can the uncle make the nurses not give informations to the child?. F**k your uncle.. Feel hugged.
SonOfDadOfSam − Ask the doctor if your dad’s head injury is consistent with a fall. If he says no, call the police. Sorry you’re having to deal with all this. It really sucks. I hope things work out OK.
mwilliams4d57 − I saw your post the other day, but I didn’t comment. I was worried for you and your dad, also. I’m glad you found him at least alive and being cared for, even if it was a bit late. Hope things work out for you and your family. Thank you for the update. Stay strong. The only thing I can do, really, is send good vibes your way.
CyberArwen1980 − Involve police,theyre suspicious. We are talking about a life,your dad’s life,and they have made him something really bad and are trying to hide it
Rubymoon286 − I’m so so sorry OP. I saw your post the other day, and this update breaks my heart. Please try to give yourself some kindness and grace, this isn’t your fault. Following someone showing the level of agitation and aggression your dad was in the first post could have been extremely dangerous, and even potentially life threatening to you.
It might be worth filing a police report regarding the prescription drugs that your father was given to see if you can get some sort of investigation going on it, since your aunt and uncle could be at fault for his current state even if it truly was a fall.. Take care
thumb_of_justice − Honey (and please forgive me for being over-familiar, I’m a mom and I’m feeling mom-ish towards you), please please try to be easier on yourself. You are a good person and a good daughter, and you were immediately concerned and trying to help your dad. This is in no way your fault. You were motivated by love and caring, and you did what you could.
Your dad has someone who loves him by his side. He’s not alone. It will be all right if the other people aren’t there– you are, and you are the most caring and sensible of this bunch, and you aren’t hopped up on pills.
I suggest you ask to speak to the hospital chaplain. Even if you aren’t religious, that person is around to talk to people going through guilt and trauma and grief. Hang in there.
CuteNoot8 − Hey. There should be a social worker at the hospital. Tell the doctors or nurses you want to speak to them. Explain what is going on. Express concern about your dad’s safety and that you think something happened. Elder abuse is a very real thing and there are protocols in place for this.
Luhdk − ooph no OP thats what doctors say to soften the blow later. That is not…. good. 🙁 im so sorry.
[Reddit User] − jesus christ. This would be a really good moment to talk to the Police about your suspicions.. good luck
Feeling alone while supporting a loved one through a health crisis is heartbreaking, especially when others seem indifferent. Have you ever felt abandoned by family in a moment of need? How did you cope? Share your experiences below.