UPDATE: My (40f) husband (39m) admitted to me that he has been cheating on me with his cousin for a majority of our marriage.

A woman shares an update on her devastating discovery that her husband of many years had been cheating on her with his cousin. With the support of her mother and thoughtful advice from others, she has taken steps to protect her children and initiate divorce proceedings. Read her full update below.

‘ UPDATE: My (40f) husband (39m) admitted to me that he has been cheating on me with his cousin for a majority of our marriage.’

I want to first say that I appear all of the support I’ve received after posting my first post. I have thought a lot on the suggestions that I’ve been given and decided to go forward on some.

I’ve talked with my mother about the situation and she’s agreed to take in my children until this situation is dealt with. I’ve also approached my husband about divorced and put my demands about wanting full custody of our children as well as the house and other things. He hasn’t put up a fight regarding any of those and has agreed to it.

It’s been really hard into swallow all of this and I’m looking for a lawyer now to help with the divorce. My mother has also suggested to keep the real reasoning of our divorce away from our children as long as possible, especially my eldest daughter (14).

This’ll be my second and last post of this matter. I again want to express that I really appreciate all of the helpful comments and suggestions. Thank you all for the support. ❤️

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

heavyarms3111 −  Sorry you are going through this. Sounds like a mind f**k. I hope for the best for you and the kids.

Dianachick −  Listen to your mom. Never, ever bring kids into adult issues. Do everything you can to keep them out of this. I wish you luck.

o5mfiHTNsH748KVq −  This dude should probably be on suicide watch. Taking these sorts of changes in stride and self sabotaging by bringing everything up after his cousins d**th is a huge red flag.

I’m not saying he should be pitied or forgiven. I’m saying he looks like he’s airing his conscience and freeing his loved ones from the emotional burden of thinking they’re at fault in any way. You’re better off far away from him, but these aren’t the actions of someone that’s handling this loss well.

Tuna-Fin −  I suggest finding a good therapist for yourself and perhaps your children. At least talk to one about what to say about the divorce and when to say the truth.

DocSternau −  I’m not sure if it is a good thing to keep the reason for your divorce from your children, especially the 14 year old. She is old enough to understand what is going on and if you won’t tell her the reason why but some shady ‘Mom and Dad fell out of love’ you’ll get the blame for the divorce.

You filed for the divorce so it’s your fault that their father has to leave. Tell your daughter. She most likely understands what an afair is. Also offer them – all of your kids – therapy to help them deal with losing their father. Do not risk that they start to resent you for taking him away from them.

jimmyd1583206 −  Having dealt with many divorces (as a police officer) the best advice I can give is never bad mouth your ex. Kids will grow to resent you for it. It is their dad after all.

Sejasojiro −  That is messed up, he should have no sympathy from you

RobbertvanderVelden −  Holy s**t. This whole situation is totally fucked up. But you know that. Why did he not put up a fight about the custody? I don’t know enough details to make a decision of course, but he is just going to ‘give up’ on his kids? That is some weak ass s**t if you ask me.

My father in law did that to my wife, she is still trying to ‘recover’ from that, 25 years later. I wish you all the best and good luck, you can do this!

meeshall65 −  I would not keep it from the children. Especially a 14 y old. Eventually they will find out, en now not only their father lied to them, there mother did also… Speaking from experience (sadly enough)

Edit: I don not mean: inform them with all details, but tell them something they might understand eventually. Like “daddy fell in love with someone else, and so mommy and daddy are no longer in love with eachother”

topinanbour-rex −  and put my demands about wanting full custody of our children as well as the house and other things.. I doubt a judge would allow this.

It’s never easy to face such painful truths, but prioritizing her children and her well-being is a brave step forward. How would you handle revealing sensitive issues in a family while protecting young ones? Share your thoughts or encouragement in the comments below.