Update My (36m) wife (38f) will not let me take a nap. She always wakes me up or does her best to prevent me from falling asleep. What can I do to understand?

A man, struggling with exhaustion from demanding work hours, faced ongoing interference from his wife when attempting to take naps. Despite multiple attempts to address the issue, she cannot articulate her reasoning.

After receiving advice, he plans to work with a therapist to address the underlying issues or consider other options if the situation doesn’t improve.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/kWsmq

‘ Update My (36m) wife (38f) will not let me take a nap. She always wakes me up or does her best to prevent me from falling asleep. What can I do to understand?’

I work for an agricultural company where my weekly hours fluctuate between 60 and 120. While also working on getting a degree. My amazing bride is a home maker by choice. All of this is okay.

My issue comes from on occasion I am exhausted and will start to fall asleep or will purposefully go try to take a nap. Our entire marriage (11 years) she has woke me up or flat refused to let me fall asleep. I have tried talking to her numerous times and she is unable to articulate what the issue is.

Today I got off early after 10 straight 16 hour days. Took her on a lunch date then came home and decided to take a quick nap before working on school. With in minutes of laying down she has come into the room and has begun shaking me, turning on lights, and other obnoxious behavior.

How can I articulate to her my need for an occasional nap and how can I get her to articulate what her apparent un meet needs are so I do not go insane. Because it is at a point where I am feeling disrespected and unappreciated.

Edit: Thank all of you so much for the responses. I have tried to read all of them and reply. Was truly not expecting this kind of response over what I thought was a me not communicating clearly problem. It is clear that there is more at play here and I will be working with my therapist to develop two plans.

One (much to many’s dismay) to try and work with my bride one last time to address and fix the underlying issue and two a way out for if plan one fails. Again thank you all for the kind words, the pointed yet truthful words, and even for some of the more extreme suggestions. There truly are great people left on the planet.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

FlyFlirtyandFifty −  Honestly, I’m so relieved for you that the hard part is done. DO NOT TAKE HER BACK. You may be out of furnishings and curtains, but you have your livelihood and you will no longer have to support her. And you can nap whenever you want! She sounds immature and a**sive.

I would recommend recording any further interactions with her. I’m really glad the Sheriff helped you out of the last situation. If she’s willing to hurt herself to frame you, who knows what else she is capable of. Please !Updateme if anything else should happen.

Low-Agency2539 −  Because you were so used to her abuse you couldn’t see how bad it was . I’m so happy for you, please keep getting therapy and also start living for yourself! Take all the naps, and enjoy your new found peace 

Jen5872 −  Set up cameras in case she comes back and threatens to hurt herself and blame you again. 

ripleygirl −  I wish you peace from now on. I had an ex who never let me nap either. We had two small kids and if I tried to lay down he’d barge in or send the kids after me. When I finally left I moved in with my parents (with my kids) because he refused to leave.

One afternoon the kids were playing with my mom so I went upstairs to lie down. I heard my dad come up the stairs and come to my partially opened door and I thought, “damn, I just can’t get any peace!”

But my dad just quietly closed the door so I wouldn’t be disturbed. It was such a sweet moment that I needed from another human at that time. I’m closing the door mentally for you right now friend, go get some rest!

goldencricket3 −  Proud of you, OP. You are a hard working man and you deserve a woman who 1) has her own damn income and 2) respects that you’re a human, not a work-mule. Bro, I’m proud of you.

buttercupcake23 −  I’m glad you’re getting away from this woman. In future if she contacts you again make sure you record the interaction as she’s crazy enough to fake an a**ault to accuse you. Also, this is a huge example of how sleep deprivation is abuse and a precursor to more abuse. It always escalates.

New-Number-7810 −  “When I told her I would call the sheriff if she did not leave she began twisting and hitting her forearm screaming she was gonna hurt herself and tell the sheriffs I hurt her.” This is pure evil. This, more than anything else, made me hate her. I hope you never have to see her again.

coccopuffs606 −  Make sure you file for an emergency restraining order if you haven’t done so already

ReenMo −  Wow! This is quite the escalation from “she won’t let me nap”. At least things are clear now

AwkwardFortuneCookie −  Wow, she went feral. Sorry to hear it.