Update: My (34M) GF (26F) of 6 months won’t talk to me over an incident that happened 2 weeks ago.

A Redditor (34M) shares an update on his ongoing relationship troubles with his girlfriend (26F). After an incident at a birthday gathering, she has distanced herself, ignoring him and avoiding conversation when he tried to address the issue. She had previously mentioned she was unsure about their relationship but now seems to be pulling away.

Despite feeling conflicted, the Redditor is slowly coming to terms with the situation and is attempting to focus on the aspects of their relationship that bothered him, helping him move on. Read the full story below.

‘ Update: My (34M) GF (26F) of 6 months won’t talk to me over an incident that happened 2 weeks ago.’

TL:DR GF wouldn’t talk to me after some unfortunate events that happened that resulted in her officially breaking up with me this past weekend (OCT 17). No one asked for the update, but I would like to say some things.

Well, I was finally able to see her over the weekend for my and someone else’s bday celebration, it wasn’t a formal bday party, just hanging a friend’s house during the day and going out later on. She basically ignored me at the friend’s house and when I tried to get a minute to talk to her about what was going on, she wouldn’t spare a few minutes to let me say my peace.

But she did tell me she was pretty much done after the initial birthday incident a few weeks ago even though she kept telling me she didn’t know how she felt or what she wanted yet. It’s been a few days and the rose colored glasses are beginning to come off. I still think about her and want to be with her but it’s getting better by the day.

I’ve also started to try to remember certain things that bugged me about her in an attempt to help me move on because I’ve always had an issue with only remembering the good. Thank you all for you insights and advice, it helped me come to terms with the fact that she overreacted and wanted out anyway and this was just a good enough reason.. ​

Edit: Wow! So many people have wished me luck and brought up some thoughts I’ve had as well. Thank you all so much for your insights and ideas. Anytime I find myself thinking about/missing her, I will come back and read these comments to push me through. Oh yeah, and thank you for the awards as well!. ​

Edit #2: Somebody asked in the comments what hobby she was trying to get into. I play tennis recreationally and I’m not sure if she was trying to get better at it for me, but she mentioned it several times that she would like for us to go and play together.

She even got one of our friends who also plays tennis, to take her out and show her some drills she could use to help improve her game. She texted me last night saying she had some things to say and clearly I do so could we call and talk sometime, I said sure just let me know.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

SaharanDessert −  You’re right OP…her reaction is so wildly illogical that I dont think she ever really was that into you. She probably was already teetering over an indecisive line and found a reason to say she isn’t interested. Don’t take it personal. You did nothing wrong

perkytitssolidshits −  Seems like she was just looking for an out and the chipped tooth provided one. You guys are in different life stages by your ages, often times it’s harder to connect and communicate. Just keep swimming.

Danidinger −  I can understand why she would be so upset about something like a chipped tooth, it’s a big issue. But you offered to pay to resolve it, and it was resolved pretty easily. After that she should have calmed down because you handled it maturely, but she didn’t she continued to be petty. you did the right thing.

PhonyHoldenCaulfield −  Dude, f**k this woman. Like what someone else said, she’s acting like a f**king child. She’s so deep into her looks and angry over her chipped tooth that she is irrationally dumping all the blame on you for something the dogs did. She can’t even be bothered to give you a f**king proper break up. F**k this person. You deserve better.

iwannaboopyou −  My dating life got a lot easier when I decided to just stop pursuing people that didn’t pursue me with the same fervor. If the person is telling you they don’t know how they feel, or being indirect, why waste your time? You shouldn’t have to convince someone to like you or to stay with you. You’re worth more than that.

[Reddit User] −  I just read both posts. I agree with what others have said about her irrational and highly strung reaction, and that you need to remove yourself from this person asap. But what really struck me was something you said about meeting someone and putting all your energy into that person, being ghosted, etc. Am I right in saying that you get attached quickly?

As well as removing yourself from this toxic woman, I’d suggest you try and address the issues underlying your own dating and relationship patterns. It seems like there might be some kind of attachment issue here, exacerbated by how you view yourself. Might I suggest that you take a break and focus on yourself for a while? Perhaps a period of therapy or counselling to help you understand yourself better?

[Reddit User] −  I can’t help but feel like there’s more to this story. you’ve written it so carefully with all the cues for the audience to sympathize with you and ‘know that you’re a good person’. If this is true and exactly as you’re saying then it sucks but I guarantee if we got a post from her perspective everyone in the comments would be sympathizing with her.

[Reddit User] −  I read the story and everyone says she’s acting like a child but I don’t agree. Why can’t women have high standards in dating? The vibes were off with you. I would be pissed if my boyfriends big dog chipped my tooth before my work meeting. And then he let the dogs back in right after.

U didn’t end up paying for the tooth cuz it was an easy fix and… . I personally would get the feeling like: What is this dude contributing to my life ? His dog chipped my tooth and my insurance covers it cuz of my own hard work, and this guy is messing with my work flow, and now assuming that he can go to a party with me… just so annoying tbh. Why would we entertain a man who’s nuisance… not just about the tooth, its how u make her feel…

Droneoflife −  Okay, I would be pissed if your dog chipped my tooth. But, I’d get over it once the tooth was fixed. I can see her point, but her dragging it out isn’t good at all.

theGIRTHQUAKE −  You dodged a bullet man. I know it sucks, I don’t mean to minimize that. It sucks. But you’re on the right track. She is surprisingly immature and self-centered for a 26yo woman, and obviously this was never truly about the tooth anyway.

She was too chickenshit to talk to you like an adult so she seized on anything to make her move. You handled everything thoughtfully and maturely. It’s ok to be bummed, let it happen, but don’t let it stop you from getting back out there. Good luck man.

Sometimes, the hardest part of a relationship is knowing when to let go. If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, how did you find the strength to move on? What steps helped you gain clarity? Share your thoughts below!