Update: My [31M] boss [35M] made me aware I’m not well liked at work.
A Redditor previously shared how their boss revealed that their coworkers didn’t like them, citing personality rather than work performance. In an update, the user sought advice from their boss and another colleague to gain clarity.
They discovered that the issue was isolated to just two individuals and received constructive feedback on being mindful of their humor and how it might be perceived. Read the full update below.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/PHKyT
‘ Update: My [31M] boss [35M] made me aware I’m not well liked at work.’
I made a post and got a ton of answers. It was pretty brutal but I appreciate every message and the advice. I tried to reply to each one and thank them, but it quickly became too hard. Thanks so much everyone. Anyway, to the update.
I went to see my boss and another boss, one of which I wasn’t sure how she felt about me so figured it would be a good idea to ask someone I’m close to and someone I’m not to cover all the bases. It turns out it actually is just the two I’m aware of that don’t like me.
However, it was also pointed out that while people do love my sense of humour, I need to be more aware around people who don’t know me because I do come across as condescending or rude. I’ve gotten lots of great tips from you all, and from my bosses as to what to work on and how to be more appropriate at work. I’m going back to therapy this week as well.
It was suggested by some Redditors that I don’t seem happy and maybe that was an issue. Turns out I’m still holding a lot of pain and defensiveness from a past a**sive relationship so I’m working on that too.
It’s a long road ahead but I’m going to work hard to make it to where I can let go, be happy and learn how to better understand others and be more appropriate. I really appreciate the replies from everyone, so thanks again.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Plzstayhome − While many people said that you are not socially aware (and they are not completely wrong), you are conscious enough about your surroundings that you not only went and asked for advice but also followed it.
That is pretty good and better than a lot of other people can do. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder for that! I wish you all the best in your social endeavors 🙂 It’s an uphill climb for the best of us.
eggnoggins − Great update! Keep in mind, you being willing to go to your bosses to have these uncomfortable discussions about improvement in the interest of bettering your social interactions and environment at work looks really good to them. They want a cohesive team and you being willing to see areas where you can try harder can go a long way with them and their perception of you.
xtlou − You know, it takes a lot to look at a situation and accept you could be better. It’s takes even more to actually follow through. Good on you for allowing the self awareness to both ask the question and be receptive to answers.
Another bonus for acknowledging you haven’t worked through the damage of your past relationship. I hope things improve for you and that you see success and happiness beyond what imagined possible.
crispyohare − hey, I read your last post as well as this one. most people go through life without making many waves, so most people aren’t liked or disliked, people just feel meh about them. then there are people who are horrible, and everyone dislikes them.
then there are interesting people who make waves who are POLARIZING. some people like them, some people hate them. these people are pretty rare. so when your boss found out that 1-2 people disliked you,
it was an easier conclusion to make that you’re generally disliked than that you’re polarizing. so maybe rein in the worse parts of your personality a bit, but don’t just become oatmeal. it’s better to be a few people’s shot of vodka than everyone’s cup of tea.
speedycat2014 − I like you because you seem open to criticism and acknowledge you likely have some work to do on yourself. I will say that in your first post when you wrote you tried to dumb yourself down, I immediately thought what a j**k. it’s okay for us to think we’re smarter than everyone else, I’m sure we all do feel it at some point in time, just don’t say it or act like it. Good luck.
[Reddit User] − I read your other thread and I’m mystified over why so many people were so rude to you while I’m sure feeling like they’re socially superior. Yeah your use if the words “dumb down” was annoying but not to that extent.
It’s just bizarre to me how they all fed into each other to be mean. Big hugs to you OP. try and work on that caustic sense of humor because some of us can be a little sensitive or find it exhausting. You seem like a lovely person to me otherwise.
cptcrucial − hey, good for you man!
thecuriousblackbird − Please remember that the people who messaged you to tell you mean things *don’t know you at all*. We have very little to go on. We all have to grow and change. You’re trying really hard and have gone through a lot. Be kind to yourself.
slushyneon − Wholesome update. I hope therapy works out for you!
Kiwikid14 − Being willing to learn and be wrong is really hard so good on you!
How would you handle feedback that challenges your interpersonal skills at work? Do you think seeking clarity and addressing the feedback head-on is the best approach? Share your thoughts and strategies for personal growth in the workplace below!