[UPDATE] My [28F] husband [36M] passed away, and now his “best friend” [33F] is trying to control his services

A woman (28F) previously shared her struggles with her late husband’s (36M) close friend, Marjorie (33F), trying to control his memorial services. After receiving advice from others, she took action and reached out to the church where Marjorie was attempting to organize a service.

The pastor intervened, informing Marjorie that she was no longer welcome to participate due to her inappropriate behavior. Ultimately, the woman held two beautiful services for her husband, one religious and one non-religious, and was able to honor him the way she felt was right.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/guVkB

‘ [UPDATE] My [28F] husband [36M] passed away, and now his “best friend” [33F] is trying to control his services ‘

I apologize for not updating sooner, but a lot happened the last couple of days. Thank you to everyone who offered help and advice. For those that offered monetary assistance, Jonah and I were in a stable position financially — I’m going to be comfortable until I decide to go back to work.

Your willingness to help was deeply appreciated, however, and I’m truly bowled over by your kindness. I took the advice of the majority of comments, and called the chapel where Marjorie was planning her service.

I spoke with the pastor, who immediately told me that he had been trying to get in touch with me regarding the service — apparently both Jonah and Marjorie had grown up in that church (I am not religious, and neither was Jonah as an adult).

My voicemail has been flooded, so it’s definitely plausible that I overlooked his call. He immediately expressed how sorry he was to hear of Jonah’s loss, and said he had received my contact info from Jonah’s great-aunt who still attends there.

He said he was surprised when Marjorie asked to have a service for Jonah, but she had claimed that Jonah and I were separated and I didn’t want to be involved. He had been trying to follow up with me, but obviously that didn’t happen.

He was very apologetic, and said that we could cancel the service, or move forward in any way that felt right to me. He said that he knew the church members would appreciate the service, since many of them remembered Jonah as a boy, but obviously Marjorie would no longer have a role.

I agreed that the service could go forward. He called to speak with Marjorie after our conversation, and informed her that she was no longer welcome to participate in the organization of the service after her behavior.

He wouldn’t tell me all that she said, but says she was distraught, and he recommended some mental health/spiritual services to her that he hopes she accepts. She apparently apologized for lying, and asked to speak with me — but I declined.

I feel bad if she’s truly contrite, but I just have too much on my plate right now. We had two beautiful services for my husband — first the one at his hometown church, and then the non-religious one that I planned. Everyone that came wanted to honor Jonah, and that’s all that really matters.

I was told a dozen stories about him that I’d never heard before, and I laughed so hard I cried, then cried some more. My cousin was on the lookout for Marjorie, and I honestly didn’t think about her the whole weekend. She turned up for the first service, and the pastor ended up speaking with her (unbeknownst to me).

My cousin says he was sympathetic but firm, and told her that her presence there would be inappropriate. Surprisingly, she left without fuss. I’m still not sure this situation is entirely resolved,

but I got to lay my husband to rest in the way he deserved, and that’s the most important thing to me right now.. Thanks everyone for your support.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

pienoceros −  I’m glad the pastor is such an awesome, compassionate person and that you were able to memorialize your husband with people who cared about him.

thirtyeightdays −  You handled this situation graciously. I hope she doesn’t cause any further trouble, and leaves you to grieve in peace.. My thoughts are with you.

ninjapenguin24 −  The pastor sounds amazing! I’m so glad you were able to say goodbye to Jonah without disruption, it’s so important to be able to do that. Sending hugs to you xo

leetdood_shadowban −  I’m an atheist, but this is the kind of pastor I love to see! What a GGG pastor. Seems like he was on the ball from the get go and looked out for you when you let him know. I wish all pastors/priests were like that because that is one solid community leader.

smacksaw −  Pastor McAwesome, Holy Slayer Of The Wicked

AgeOfWomen −  So sorry for your loss. Glad that everywhong worked out great. Your cousin was really awesome to watch out for you. That is one person to keep around.

[Reddit User] −  You’re so socially graceful, I’m glad you’re alright and she didn’t ruin everything.

CheatedOnOnce −  Great outcome! Marjorie is a terrible, terrible human being. Holy crap. Who the hell lies to a pastor about a man and a wife separating for their own agenda?! F**k, disgusting behaviour. Glad everything worked out for you!

tpahornet −  Great to hear! Now comes the hard part. The calls will subside, the visits will thin out and you will be left to find some sort of normality. Embrace this calm after the Storm you have just survived. Look for peace.

Look for the solid ground that has been missing these past few weeks and beware of those that really do not have your best interest at heart as you have already seen. Figure out your plan, take notes and I can not emphasize how important your to do list are.

My heart goes out to you and know you will be fine but just a little beat up after your experience. Message me if you need any assistance in your journey. I can offer you only my experience but sometimes you just need advice from someone that has been there.

[Reddit User] −  That pastor sounds absolutely lovely. I’m so glad this was resolved and you can grieve in the way that you need to, without this weirdo muscling in. Hopefully she will get the help she clearly needs and move on also. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope things get better for you.