Update: My (28F) boyfriend (32M) told me a “white lie” for almost 3 years and I’m not sure if it’s a red flag?
After discovering her boyfriend had lied extensively about his life for nearly three years, a woman gave him a chance to seek therapy and come clean, but his inaction sealed the relationship’s fate. Now single, she feels a newfound sense of freedom and self-worth, even as she faces financial challenges. Read her inspiring update below.
‘ Update: My (28F) boyfriend (32M) told me a “white lie” for almost 3 years and I’m not sure if it’s a red flag?’
Well, it’s over. As many of you suggested, I couldn’t possibly build my life around someone who lied so pathologically. I initially agreed to work on the relationship provided that my ex get therapy to work through why he felt compelled to lie about so many aspects of his “life”.
I also requested that he come clean to his parents, my parents, and anyone else he lied to or embellished the truth to. He agreed to this and seemed genuinely interested in working on things and himself.
I really wanted it to work out and was willing to accept that maybe he was just wildly insecure/had some attachment issues or something that caused him to act this way. I waited 4 months for the therapy and confessions to happen and they never did, not surprisingly.
For those of you who were confused about how I didn’t know he did not own this apartment for so long/thought I had never met his parents – I had met them many, many times. But tbh they are pretty cold people who I never really connected with that much and was definitely not comfortable enough to be like “hey, is your son a pathological l**r or is all of this true?”.
On top of that, he also told a lot of these lies to his parents as well so they wouldn’t have been keen to what I was talking about anyway. It got to the point where basically anything that came out of his mouth seemed like a lie or at least a half-truth to me.
Also, I lost respect for someone who could lie so easily and then not even feel guilty enough or any remorse to come clean about it. I’m pretty honest, almost to a fault. So the cognitive dissonance there that occurred from being with someone who had basically opposite values from me was tough.
I’m sure there were a lot of other things he was hiding, but I don’t even care. I’ve been single and living alone for a week and to be frank I’m killin it. Im now responsible for 100% of my rent and I barely have any savings left, but I still feel like a giant weight has lifted off my shoulders. Crazy how that works.
I want to thank all of the people who gave me the hard truth straight up and encouraged me to leave. Even though it was all coming from internet strangers, it still helps to hear people tell you that you deserve more than what you’re getting.
I’m so happy and I must be giving off a much better vibe because I’ve already had 2 dates and been asked for my number a handful of times (I’m a server at a restaurant lol). I sound like a cocky a**hole but god does it feel good to remember you’re not as worthless as someone made you feel. Thanks Reddit, and if any of you are in a relationship with someone who is like this – GTFO and don’t look back.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
rthrouw1234 − I sound like a cocky a**hole but god does it feel good to remember you’re not as worthless as someone made you feel. Not even a little bit. I’m so happy for you! Also, you should be proud of yourself.
xopranaut − ## PREMIUM CONTENT. PLEASE UPGRADE. CODE gb1jcrl
LyannaCeltiger88 − I’m so happy for you – enjoy living your new life!
Samara1010 − Congratulations on getting out of a crap relationship! Best of luck in your future, OP 🙂
ik101 − I remember this story, I’m glad you broke up with him, you deserve better.
PaintedSwindle − I remember your post! It completely boggled my mind how this man could spin such a massive web of lies, and they were not even close to being ‘white lies.’ Good for you!
dkac − You do not sound like a cocky a**hole. You sound like someone who recognizes and values your own self worth. Keep going.
the-nub − I sound like a cocky a**hole but god does it feel good to remember you’re not as worthless as someone made you feel. I’d be cheering out loud for you if I wasn’t at work right now. This is awesome. 🙂
AugustPast − Congratulations! You might want to look at getting a roommate to help with living costs. That way you will be able to take your time when/if you feel ready to get into a new relationship.
Pizzaisbae13 − Ah man lifting that dead weight off feels so great!! Glad you got out while you did. I wish you all the luck making that new place a home.
Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and breaking free from deceit takes courage. Have you ever experienced a moment where leaving was the best way to reclaim your happiness? Share your stories in the comments!