Update: My (26F) husband (28M) is frustrated with me because he thinks I’m not feeding our babies adequately because I had to switch to formula.

A Reddit user, a mother of twin girls, is staying at her parents’ house after facing frustration from her husband over her decision to switch to formula feeding. Despite her efforts to ensure the babies are well-fed and healthy.

Her husband is angry and has made hurtful remarks. The user is finding comfort and support from her parents, allowing her to rest and care for the babies more effectively. Read the original story below:

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/YnZxz

‘ Update: My (26F) husband (28M) is frustrated with me because he thinks I’m not feeding our babies adequately because I had to switch to formula.’

Thank you to everyone who commented on my first post. I took my daughters to my parents, and I have been there for almost a week now. Both of the twins seem to be doing well, and they seem happy, they’re five weeks old now. One of them is starting to try and make noises as well, which is a nice change from the crying.

I took them to the doctor so they can be checked and they’re both healthy and they’re growing a bit better now they are having formula. One of them is a little fussy about it, but will still feed. I’ve finally been able to sleep properly. I’ll feed them at night still,

but my mother or father will feed them in the morning, so I can sleep then and sometimes I even get to sleep for nine or ten hours. It’s so much better, and I feel like I can enjoy the babies more while they’ll still small when I’m not so tired. They’ve been enjoying sleeping outside now that they’re not so hungry all the time anymore, and they don’t cry so much.

I do feel horrible about letting them go hungry so often when they were little but the doctor said they’ll be fine now they’re getting enough with formula.
I was worried about frustrating my parents with the babies, but they seem really happy with them there. And the babies don’t cry very much now so it isn’t so bad.

My husband is angry at me, I told him I was going with the babies to my parents but I think he thought I meant just for the day. We’ve called each other a couple of times and he’s said horrible things to me and how he wishes I was dead,

but I’ll deal with how he feels later when I feel better and know I can manage the babies on my own because they still need regular feeding quite frequently and it’s only achievable with my parents helping at the moment.

See what others had to share with OP:

floppybunny86 −  Hey OP! I commented on your original post & encouraged you to reach out to your parents stay with them. I’m so glad to hear that you are feeling much better, and your babies.

Your husband’s reaction to you leaving is a major red flag, especially when you consider he would basically rather have seen your babies starve than “allow” you to bottle feed. I really hope you pay attention to how he is behaving, because he is showing you his true colours now.

I really hope you have the strength to pay attention, and do what you need to do to protect your babies from him. I hope you have a village of family & friends who can help you. This internet stranger is rooting for you! Good luck!

[Reddit User] −  Your husband calls to wish you dead and your solution is to wait until the babies don’t need to be fed as much to work it out with him?
The only way you need to work it out with him is by getting a divorce lawyer and separating from him.

SkulledDownunda −  said horrible things to me and how he wishes I was dead. Welp your husband really showed who he is 😬 but at least you and the kiddos are doing well, so yeah worry about that clown later

lovinglifeatmyage −  I seriously hope you’re not planning on going back to him. I remember your first post and was horrified at his behaviour. People like your ex get worse over time

cassowary32 −  Um, you need to record these conversations that you are having with your husband. At least they’ll know who to look for when he murders you. Do not go back to him! You need to call a DV hotline and ask about getting a protective order. Your safety and the safety of your daughters should be your top priority. You are not safe with him.

MysteriousAlma_1979 −  I really feel astonished as you are so dismissive about what he said!😳 He wishes you d**th and you are just “that’s ok, that’s just a phase!”🤯 Wow… I’m speechless… I think it would benefit you to seek some therapist help to help you take off those rose lens glasses!

For the sake of your children. You want them to have you in their lives while they grow up. Don’t be so dismissive about the abuse he is doing to you, don’t brush it off because it won’t get better. I hope you see the light.

[Reddit User] −  DO NOT GO BACK TO THAT MAN. Get a lawyer as soon as you can. Start proceedings to get a divorce. Start discussing with your parents where you might be able to live. Ideally? It would be great if you can stay with your parents for a while until it’s easier to manage 2 children on your own.

asyrian88 −  Dude has family annihilator vibes. Please be careful OP.

PomPomGrenade −  If one of your daughters were to tell you this story, would you want her to go back to the man who wished d**th upon her?
What is there to work out with him? He is acting like a huge a**hole and b**lying and verbally abusing you.

You left to get to safety and instead of thinking about what he did to drive you away, he keeps cursing you out and being mad at you? He is insane. Please document his crappy behavior. Have conversations over text or voice mail and back them up and have copies.

You may not want to go to family court now but eventually you will end up there or in the hospital. Have proof of his mistreatment for the family court so he only gets supervised visits. You do not want this l**atic to have custody of kids, pets or even plastic plants.

Should he apologize, ask him what he will do to ensure that a clusterfuck like this will never happen again. Ask him for concrete actions. If he gives you willi nilly answers or promises you the sky and never actually acts on his promises then you have your answer on how genuine he is.. You are in danger. Stay sharp.

TiredRetiredNurse −  There is no dealing with it later. He abused those babies by denying food and he wants you dead. You need an attorney and restraining order. Someone with law enforcement or designated by them can go in the house to retrieve all of your belongings when they serve him.

There is no need to see him or talk to him until you are in court to end the marriage. Get an attorney who makes sure you get full custody because he will not feed the babies. I do not care if this man is even mentally ill, he is dangerous.

It’s clear that balancing your well-being and the needs of your children can be incredibly challenging, especially when external tensions complicate things. How can one handle moments of hurtful conflict while still prioritizing the care and happiness of their children?

Do you think that taking time for self-care is essential, or should both partners be equally involved in all aspects of child-rearing? Share your thoughts below!