[Update] My (26F) boyfriend (36M) has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents (49M and 50F) last week, how do I reach out to him?
A Reddit user returned with an update about her distant boyfriend after he met her parents. After digging into the issue, she uncovered a shocking revelation about a past affair between her mother and her boyfriend during his high school years. This led to an emotional fallout and the decision to end the relationship. Read the original story and update below.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/tSEIU
‘ [Update] My (26F) boyfriend (36M) has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents (49M and 50F) last week, how do I reach out to him?’
The past few days have been a mess but now that everything is settled I thought I would go on here and update all of you. I took you guys advice and decided to speak to my parents rather than Derek to discover if maybe they said anything or knew each other in the past, like many of you suggested they might.
Four days ago, I called my mom and told her about Dereks weird reaction after our dinner, I her asked for advice or if she knew what happened. She was silent for a moment and I heard her start crying, she started apologizing and I didn’t understand what she was trying to tell me at first.
Eventually, I got her to calm down and she told me what had happened. My mom is a high school teacher and apparently Derek was her student in his senior year and she told me that they had an affair.
She didnt give me that many details (honestly I dont even want to know) All she said is that they only slept together once before she shut it down and that my father knew and they had attended couples counseling years ago to work through this.
She cried a lot and said it was her greatest regret then she told me she wanted me to break it off with Derek because he brought back really awful memories and she found the age gap concerning (shes one to talk about age gaps). But ultimately she said it was decision and she didnt want her past mistakes to ruin my relationship.
I went to Dereks apartment again and he invited me in. He said he had to tell me something but I stopped him and told him I had already talked to my mom and knew everything. He promised me he had no idea up until the point we had come over for dinner where he immediately recognized her.
He apologized for ghosting me and said he just didn’t know what to say and he was scared that he would ruin my relationship with my parents or maybe ruin their marriage. I forgave him but told him that the whole situation was just way too messy for me and he agreed.
So yeah thats how my past few days have gone down, honestly I do kind of miss Derek but not too much since the whole banging my mom thing is a massive turn off. Thank you for all the replies, I feel like I will never see my mom the same again. How can I work on rebuilding our relationship and trust moving forward?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Oohkbutnotokay − Your mother had s** with a child, one that she knew for some time before. She never was caught from a legal standpoint. That is far beyond disappointing.
DoubleShotOfApathy − Kudos to whoever figured out where this fake story was going in the last thread.
ThrowLAhopefulelk − i don’t think i could have a relationship with a parent after finding out they groomed a child. she used her place of authority to have s** with him when he was in HIGH SCHOOL.
i would be utterly disgusted by this and advise any family friends with children to stay the hell away from her. also, please look after yourself. this is a lot of heavy information to process in a short amount of time.
ThatScaryChick − This sounds made up lol
Piilootus − Woof. I’d suggest you explore some therapy for yourself and maybe in the future family therapy for you and your mom if you’re both up for it. But for now you’ve had a massive bomb dropped in your lap, so take time to process it and focus on yourself.
Freshavacado124 − lol this is made up af. I believed it to begin with but this isn’t true. we all got played
Aggressive_Suit_7957 − Does dad really know?
ButteryMashPotato − This exact same story was posted MONTHS AGO, fake af
Acceptablepops − Your mom was a predator but everyone somehow blames Derek. Lol what kinda b**lshit is that 😭. When all this s**t cools down you’re gonna be wondering if your moms fucked the next guy you’ve dated
Edelgard01 − Your mom is… Disgusting to be honest.
Discovering shocking truths about loved ones can strain even the strongest relationships. Should the user focus on repairing her relationship with her mother, or is it best to create some distance for self-reflection? How would you navigate this complicated web of emotions? Share your thoughts below!