Update: My [25f] boyfriend [26m] of 10 months is best friends with his ex [20s?f]. She refuses to meet me and it’s getting weird

A Reddit user shared an update on her complicated relationship with her boyfriend, Jeff, who maintained a close and questionable friendship with his ex-girlfriend, Jenna. After initially trying to tolerate the situation, the user broke up with Jeff due to his inability to set boundaries with Jenna.

However, months later, Jeff apologized, dissolved his business partnership with Jenna, and cut ties with her completely. The couple has since reconciled and is rebuilding their relationship on a more respectful and secure foundation.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/cgBlF

‘ Update: My [25f] boyfriend [26m] of 10 months is best friends with his ex [20s?f]. She refuses to meet me and it’s getting weird’

I wrote my previous post over a year ago, and a lot has happened since then. I wanted to give everyone an update, since the advice on this sub was really helpful at the time.For a few months after I wrote my OP, nothing much happened. Jeff and I continued dating, and he continued being friends/partners with Jenna.

I never met her, but everything else in our relationship seemed to be going so well that I decided I’d try to deal with it. Things got really hard, however, when I had to take a work contract 12 hours away from home for three months.

I hardly saw Jeff the whole time, and I looked at Jenna’s instagram almost every day to see if she’d posted more photos of them together. More often than not, she had. Since I wasn’t physically present, I felt like Jenna was his real girlfriend.

I felt completely worthless and constantly stressed out, knowing my boyfriend was spending all his time with another woman who I already had suspicions about. While I was away for work, I decided to break up with Jeff. I broke up with as soon as I came back, and I made it very clear that his relationship with Jenna was i**olerable for me.

I told him he was going to have a hard time dating anyone who wasn’t her as long as she was still in his life. He kept saying he didn’t understand why it was such a problem. He told me he couldn’t control her behaviour, but he promised me he hadn’t cheated on me.

I explained to him that by allowing their friendship to continue, he was condoning her behaviour. I told him I didn’t really even care if he’d physically cheated or not, since he’d already shown disrespect for me and our relationship. I didn’t speak to him for a few months and I went on with my life.

I took another contract out of town and even considered moving permanently to another city. One night, though, Jeff called me and apologized. He said he had been thinking about our relationship a lot and realized he had been in the wrong.

He said his relationship with Jenna was beginning to feel toxic to him, and he’d made arrangements to dissolve their business partnership. After that, I decided to meet up with him (not necessarily give him another chance) and discuss the situation further.

When we met up, he promised to stop talking to Jenna and unfollowed her on all social media. As of now, he has not spoken to her in six months, and we’ve gotten back together. We actually ran into her at a concert a few weeks ago, and they didn’t even say hi to each other. I feel much more respected and confident in my relationship now.

Check out how the community responded:

IranianGenius −  Wow. Good for both of you that the communication ended up working and you’re happy together now. Congrats and hope it works out.

UnlikelyAward −  Hey OP, not to stir the pot, but it really sounds like your boyfriend was dating Jenna and they broke up.

salmeida −  Good on you for standing up to your needs! Seems a bit odd to me that they went from being so close to being so cold with each other in such a short period of time but maybe he truly understood that he needed to cut her out of his life in order to have you. Wish you all the best 🙂

hyperbolic_pancakes −  Can’t believe you never ended up meeting her! I’d be very curious to hear her side of things…

Troughbomber −  Glad to hear there’s a happy ending. It definitely seemed like Jenna was trying to push you out of the picture, so I’m glad your bf came to his senses and she didn’t succeed long-term.

[Reddit User] −  Eh… I’m glad you broke up with him. I’m puzzled that you got back together. That would be a no from me- too many unanswered questions, too much anxiety and insecurity, too much history of poor prioritization.

He cut Jenna off but what if they start wanting to be friends again? What if he makes a new odd friendship? For your sake, I hope he really has changed, because Jenna was never the problem here- it was Jeff. Jeff and his poor boundaries.

woodstockiewuvswuv −  I would have only dated your ex on the condition that you had a long talk with Jenna without Jeff knowing. This whole situation reeks of infidelity and I would be more determined to find the truth than to just accept 2nd place after 1rst dropped out.

rasta_crawl −  So, he only ended their friendship because it was no longer working for him, not because he realized he was wrong, but because of her behavior towards him. Her behavior didn’t matter, when it only affected you.

cartoonphysicsfool −  He was cheating on you. He’ll never admit it but he was. You took him back after he decided maybe you were better. I hope things go well for you but trust will always be an issue. Love is a beautiful thing. But I dont believe its something you have to work extremely hard for. It’s not a coal mine you are digging.

Volcano_Head −  Jenna definitely still has feelings