UPDATE: My [24 F] boyfriend [26 M] of 6 months told me that I need to “unlove” the men from my past before I can love him.

A Reddit user shared an unsettling update about her relationship, where her boyfriend’s initial demand to “unlove” her exes escalated into a dangerous confrontation.

Despite attempting to address the issue with understanding and setting boundaries, the situation took a shocking turn, leading to violence and legal action. Read the original story below to learn about this cautionary tale.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/ppNyw

‘ UPDATE: My [24 F] boyfriend [26 M] of 6 months told me that I need to “unlove” the men from my past before I can love him.’

Figured I’d update my post from about a month ago. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a happy ending, but I am very grateful for a lot of the advice I received here. Thank you, reddit, for helping me keep my head on straight! After I made my first post, I read all the comments and thought about everything for a few days.

A lot of people mentioned that they would not be comfortable with the frequency of my communication with my ex. I thought that was very fair. People also mentioned that Mark’s behavior was pretty controlling and not ok. I also thought that was fair.

I went to talk to Mark and told him that I understood if he was uncomfortable with me being in touch with Eli weekly, and that I would be totally willing to cut that down. I also reiterated again that I was not currently in love with Eli and hadn’t been for a while.

Mark was understanding this time and seemed happy with the fact that I offered to cut down my contact with Eli. But then I told Mark that although I was willing to do this, I wasn’t happy with how he approached the issue and that I found his behavior controlling.

I basically told him that I want him to approach issues in a more rational way and I would appreciate if he opened a dialogue rather than just telling me what to do, and that I wouldn’t put up with him trying to “command” me to do something (especially something so ridiculous).

I said everything in the same tone as I used for the first half of the conversation – I wasn’t yelling at him or admonishing him, just trying to let him know where my boundaries are. You guys – Mark. Flew. Off. The. Handle. He started SCREAMING at me. I obviously wasn’t having it, so I got up to leave.

He started throwing dishes and random kitchen items at me, and grabbed me and slammed my head into the door jam. I ended up with a n**ty black eye and a busted lip. Luckily for me, a neighbor heard the commotion and called the cops. Mark was arrested and I was taken to the hospital.

Yes, I’m pressing charges and filed for a restraining order. Overall, it was a horrible incident but I’m glad this happened earlier in the relationship rather than later. And I am forever grateful for the neighbor who called the cops.

Im also grateful to (most of) you guys for telling me that I wasn’t being insane in my first post and for pointing out the early warning signs. It wasn’t the best ending, but I’m ok and I’m just glad it’s over. Take this as a cautionary tale, I guess!

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

TheFireflies −  Him: WOULD A CONTROLLING P**CHO DO THIS?! Him: (Smashes dishes and your head). All of us: …yes?
I’m really glad you got out of there. I hope you heal quickly.

ondopondont −  Well, you know what.. F**k Mark. I’m glad to hear you’re pressing charges against the cowardly little m**herfucker.

jjkbill −  People sometimes think this sub is overreacting when we say that someone is an abuser, before physical harm has been done. But this update is proof that the line between s**tty, controlling behaviour and physical violence is wafer-thin.

OP, I’m so glad you were able to get out before they got even worse. Look after yourself and your mental health, your injuries will heal but it’s OK if it takes some time to process what happened.

throwaway19982015 −  God just even the phrase “unlove” from your first post gave me douchechills. I’m not surprised but I’m so relieved that you’re escaping this situation. Stay safe.

DFahnz −  Good for you for pressing charges. Be proud of yourself.

[Reddit User] −  Oh no, that’s so awful! Please, please, PLEASE don’t let him talk you out of pressing charges and/or testifying in court! It’s actually really common for a**sive partners to (seemingly) do a 180 after an a**ault.

Suddenly, they’re all loving sweetness. They put on a huge show of contrition and convince the woman to help them get out of legal trouble. Then once they’re safe…they drop the act.

Upper_Canada_Pango −  Sweet Jesus. Glad you got out early, this kind of thing almost always escalates.

kevin_r13 −  I was thinking that Mark is like this, when he was trying to get you to “unlove” other people before loving him. Like you said, I’m glad you found out now. Sorry for your injuries but thank you for being brave enough to press charges against him so that maybe he doesn’t do that to someone else.

[Reddit User] −  I am not trying to throw you in a panic, but if this just happened within the last few days please be extremely careful, a**sive dudes tend to be their most dangerous directly after they get slapped with a restraining order.

Keep yourself safe, stay with a friend or relative for a little while if you can and I’m sorry to hear you had to deal with this.

LadyApsalar −  Wow, that is terrifying, good on you for getting out early. Seems like he wanted someone who would just do what they were told and freaked out when he realized he couldn’t control you.

This story highlights the importance of recognizing early signs of controlling or abusive behavior in relationships. How would you handle a partner displaying these red flags? Have you or someone you know experienced a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!