[UPDATE] My (20f) friend (21f) is going to great lengths to ‘prove’ that my boyfriend (24m) is cheating even though I know he isn’t

A Redditor shared an explosive update about her friendship with a housemate who had been trying to convince her that her long-distance boyfriend was cheating. The situation escalated when the housemate’s lies unraveled, revealing ulterior motives that led to a dramatic fallout. Read the full update below to uncover how it all unfolded.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/fqGCv

‘ [UPDATE] My (20f) friend (21f) is going to great lengths to ‘prove’ that my boyfriend (24m) is cheating even though I know he isn’t?’

So I posted a few days ago about my housemate Emily who had made it her life’s mission to try and make me see that my long-distance boyfriend, Sam, was cheating on me.

After posting my original post I sat Emily down and told her that I would not be engaging in conversation with her about Sam at all. She tried to claim it was all in my best interests to listen to her, but did reign it in. Drama over.

… Until it all blew up. I got a very angry message yesterday from Emily’s boyfriend calling me every name under the sun, including a ‘home wrecker’. I asked him what the hell was going on, and he said that he knew all about how I’d been cheating on Sam and how I’d convinced Emily to do the same to him.

It turns out he’d found out that Emily was on Tinder and was talking to guys, and had even met up with a couple and done whatever. I had no clue she was doing this – whenever she left the house for the night, she always said she was staying at her boyfriend’s.

I told him in no uncertain terms that I had not encouraged Emily to cheat on him, and I was not cheating on Sam. He then tried to claim that Emily had told him that I was away getting with some Tinder guy on a specific evening that I wasn’t in the flat…

I was celebrating Sam’s birthday with him in his city, and had the timed and dated photos to prove it, and of course Emily knew where I really was. I have no clue whether or not her boyfriend believes me, but I haven’t had any other messages from him since.

Emily was wailing my door about 10 minutes later, saying that her (ex) boyfriend had gone insane and she only cheated because he was a**sive (I can’t say I saw anything, but I also can’t say this was a definite lie) and she was scared about his reaction so she said I was involved.

She then said that I would understand her position if I had broken up with Sam like she wanted me to. I’ll admit, that got my attention. I asked what she meant, and she said that she had wanted us both to be ‘free’ from our partners but she knew I wouldn’t cheat on Sam so had tried her best to convince me that he was cheating so I would leave him.

She got the door slammed in her face. Even if she did want an escape from her own ‘a**sive’ relationship, her non-stop attempts to persuade me to leave my boyfriend just for her own gain is enough for me to just cut her off.

I didn’t even wait until Emily woke up this morning to put my plan to move out into action. The landlord has been contacted and is very understanding (we’re very close to the end of our tenancy anyway) so I’m breaking my lease, and I’m going to spend the night in a friend’s spare room before making my next move.

I might write her a goodbye note, but she hardly deserves it. I’ve been wondering for a while whether or not I should move to be with Sam, I think this is now going to be a big part of my decision.

Also a lot of comments in the original post were suggesting that something had happened between Sam and Emily while he was still living in this area, and she was trying to make me see that without coming clean.

I didn’t reply to any comments because I know the sorts of responses I would have got to ‘I know he’s not cheated on me with Emily’, but I do know he didn’t. He never contacted Emily privately, and was really only friendly to her because she was my housemate.

Sam was just as unlikely to cheat with Emily as I was with any of his friends, family or housemates. I know some of you may still think that he could still have cheated/cheat in the future and I can’t definitively say he didn’t/won’t, but I’m not going to ruin my relationship with ‘what if’ style thoughts.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

7up8down9left −  Make sure to photograph the apartment so that you can protect yourself should Emily try to damage the apartment after you break your lease. While your landlord may provide your security deposit, Emily may try to sue you for damages incurred “during your tenancy” that prevent her from getting her security deposit.

BriBriKinz −  I wouldn’t even write her a note. She doesn’t deserve it. She deserves to wake up and realize that there is no one there anymore and needs to realize that when you do stuff like this people will leave you. What she did was insane. I’m happy that you finally found out what the hell was going on.

rqnadi −  The strangest thing about this…. is that even IF you were cheating on Sam, HOW does that make it your fault that she cheated???? Does she not have free will of her own? Like she sees a friend cheat and instantly thinks that she has to as well?

Emily did a great job of distracting her ex and directing his anger at you. Her ex is an i**ot though ( in my opinion) to even entertain the idea that it’s your fault. Clearly they aren’t very mature people. Good ridance.

Edit- to clarify, my questions are rhetorical. I really just asked them to point out the absurdity of the situation. You can all stop explaining to me the concept of making excuses and s**tty people not taking personal responsibility.

doc_lock −  Send both posts to Emily’s ex, expose Emily as a lying crazy girl. You’re doing the right thing but i would ensure this is all documented. Someone this crazy can’t be trusted.

The simple accusation of domestic abuse will destroy someone’s life. If she is willing to turn on her partner/ ex then she could do far worse. Also please say your bf knows about this. She may try to contact him.

MoonOverJupiter −  No goodbye note, just ghost her. (I mean, respond if there is a logistical detail about the moveout for which you are responsible, but be as succinct as possible.) This girl thrives on attention, including negative.

For people like her, angry vitriolic attention (which you understandably want to vent at her) is better than none. Indifference and a blank wall from you is her worst punishment, believe me. You have handled this beautifully, and with much class. Keep it up until you’re away from her. Good luck with the move!

Ran_dom_1 −  So that’s where her o**ession about cheating came from. Interesting that she sounded like all this was kinda sorta your fault, if only you had broken up with Sam everything would be ok.

Her bf goes “insane” over her cheating, so she throws you under the bus? After she threw Sam under to you? She tells bf she was innocent, you convinced her to cheat.

This girl is incredibly m**ipulative & I don’t know how she keeps her lies straight. I wouldn’t believe a thing she says. She probably feels like the victim in all this. If everyone had only done exactly what she wanted, everything would be ok.. Good riddance.

[Reddit User] −  Not your circus, not your monkeys.

smegheadgirl −  She sounds like a pathological l**r. Run away from her indeed! Maybe if she really was your friend, you could reach out to her family because it sounds like she’s having a break of some sorts…

LovelyLadyBeans −  When I was younger, we wanted matching best friend bracelets…not matching relationship statuses

xtlou −  Get your stuff. Leave. Don’t contact her. She knows she’s a l**r, she knows she’s a manipulator. She hasn’t given you honesty or respect and you owe her neither. Block her on social media.

Change your passwords. Hell, consider changing your phone number. Contact Sam, let him know what’s up. Take some time for yourself to sort through this new found reality.

After that, decide which direction you want to take. You don’t have to live with Sam to be closer to Sam, for example. Keep your guard up. Emily has shown you mostly who she is you but you don’t really know her full potential.

Do you think the Redditor made the right choice by cutting ties and planning to move out? How would you handle a friend who manipulates and lies for their own gain? Share your thoughts and advice below!