UPDATE: My (19f) atheist boyfriend (21m) burped loudly during grace

A Reddit user returned with an update about her breakup with her arrogant and manipulative atheist boyfriend, Kevin, after he disrespected her family’s grace. She shares a funny story about Kevin from a coworker and talks about how much better life has been since the breakup, including how she’s been helping out at a charity. Read the original story below to catch up on her journey.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/IIQhA

‘ UPDATE: My (19f) atheist boyfriend (21m) burped loudly during grace’

Kevin and I broke up right after that incident. It made me realize a lot of things about our relationship that I guess I wasn’t seeing clearly before. He really was arrogant and m**ipulative. He had this way of saying things that made it sound like he was right 100% of the time and that anything I said was stupid.

It wasn’t until after I read all of the comments that overwhelmingly said he was in the wrong that I realized just how m**ipulative he was. Maybe I should mention that kevin was really hot, like REALLY HOT so maybe thats why I didn’t realize how much of an ass he was until way later lol.

Anyway, this isn’t so much of an update as to our relationship, it’s a funny story I heard. I’ve been working a summer job for the past while now in my hometown where both kevin and I live. It’s not a tiny town where everyone knows each other but its not huge either. Anyway at work I was talking with some of my coworkers on break and the conversation of terrible exes came up.

The story that my one coworker decided to share was about… you guessed it… kevin. Apparently they dated about a year ago. my coworker (lets call her (brenda) had to go to her cousins wedding and kevin was her plus one. During the ceremony, kevin got really bored, and he decided to let everyone know.

Apparently he started saying stuff like “oh my god this is taking so long” and “is it almost over yet?” and he kept going on and on. He wasn’t so loud that everyone could hear him but the people around him definitely could, brenda said a lot of people were turning their heads to look at them, she was super embarrassed.

Apparently they got in a huge fight between the ceremony and reception and that was the end of their relationship. LOL I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard that story. Sounds exactly like something kevin would do. Anyway thats it for my update. Things are going well for me, I’m currently enjoying single life.

Just working and hanging out with friends. One of the things that kevin said that really bothered me was that religion never does anything good. That really bothered me so I started volunteering with a charity that my church helps run once a week, just organizing stuff thats been donated.

Maybe I let him get to me but it feels good to help out. I dont hold anything against atheists, you guys totally convinced me that the problem was kevin and that many atheists are cool. So thank you for that!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

warpus −  *burp of approval*. just kidding OP, well done! I was rooting for you

[Reddit User] −  I remember him!. Thanks for the story! We atheists arent all like that, I PROMISE!

holdtheolives −  That’s *great* that you’re volunteering with a charity. Talk about turning a negative experience into a positive one! Even if your ex never finds out about it, the good you’re doing for your community completely counteracts the selfishness his presence brings to it. He had this way of saying things that made it sound like he was right 100% of the time and that anything I said was stupid.

My ex would do this too. He would argue and argue a point, refusing to acknowledge any truth to my side of the argument, and keep going (sometimes for hours) until I admitted I was wrong and he was right. If I snapped at him or said something in a particular tone, he’d say, “Don’t be a d**k,” as if my dickishness completely invalidated my entire argument.

It got to the point that, if we were raring up to argue, I would just stop it and tell him, “You’re right, okay? Let’s just drop this.” After we broke up, he admitted that he would continue to argue a point past when he actually believed it, past the point where I’d convinced him that I was right, just to see if he could get me to admit that I was wrong. It was some sick game to him.

What helped me to get past these memories was writing it all down. I opened up a Google Doc (great because you can access it anytime, so long as you have an Internet connection) and made a list of all the m**ipulative, gross things my ex did. Then I was free to delete emails, text messages, everything – if I wanted to think about anything specific, all I would have to do is refer to the document.

But until then, I could let it go. If you feel like your ex is still getting to you, feel free to give this method a try. In any case, I’m glad you’re doing so well being single. You’ve got a great head and an even better heart. Even this stranger on the Internet can tell that you’ll be just fine.

fearlessandinventive −  My husband’s an atheist & you know what he does when my step-mother is saying grace? He sits there in silence until she’s finished. Because he’s an adult. Kevin is an i**ot.

fixurgamebliz −  Glad you dumped him. This was my favorite example of atheists who are just as bad as the religious zealots they claim to hate so much.
YO JUST BE COOL TO PEOPLE. JUST BE NICE FOR F**K’S SAKE

0sricStark −  Sometimes ridiculously attractive people get used to getting what they want all the time it makes them take things for granted and they become entitled, rude assholes. Not saying it happens to every attractive person but it definitely happens in some cases.

TheAmosBrothers −  What was your family’s response to the dumping?

AnthieaTyrell −  No shocker that he was an ass in his other relationships also. It gives me great pleasure that he isn’t being rewarded for his s**t behavior. May he continue to get dumped.

[Reddit User] −  Awesome of you to do charity! I’m an atheist. But I help at a Christian church food bank twice a month. Lol. Churches have organized charity down. They are the ones who help.

throwawayathrowaway0 −  This will likely get buried in the comments, but oh man, reading the update and the OP brings back not so great memories of my atheist ex boyfriend. He did a lot of annoying things, but sometimes when his mother would say grace at dinner (she was the only religious member of the family) he would say, “HAIL SATAN!”

or something similar after she was done speaking or he would just generally complain about why grace needed to be even said. He was 26-27 at the time, too. My ex and his mother even once got into an argument about religion after one of his outbursts at the table. He instigated it, of course. The other family members will tell him to knock it off, but he was extremely stubborn (shocker).

This was after his mother was kind enough to make him dinner even though he often complained it wasn’t paleo enough and would sometimes complain if pasta was made as a side dish (“How can you eat that garbage?”). He told me that she often pushed religion on him, saying that he needed god and what not,

but she was a kind person and not at all demanding. I’m sure that they had plenty of back and forth, but she is a respectful person. She had tried to get me to go to mass with her a few times and I always said no and that was the end of it.

On the other hand, my ex had a not very nice way of saying things that he felt exceptionally passionate about. My ex was kind of mean to his mother in general as he was the type to take his anger out on other people (me included). I’m glad that OP and I got rid of our j**kwad exes. 🙂

After reflecting on the past, the Redditor seems to have found peace and purpose in helping others. Do you think breaking free from a toxic relationship can lead to personal growth, as she discovered? Have you ever had a similar experience where you gained a new perspective after a breakup? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below!