[UPDATE] Me [23F] with my friend [23F], she cheated on her boyfriend/my friend [25M] and doesn’t want to come clean

A Redditor shares an update on the situation where she told her friend James that his girlfriend Sarah cheated on him with her best friend. After revealing the truth, James initially reacted with anger but later seemed to forgive Sarah.

Unfortunately, the Redditor has now been cut out of their lives, even though she did the right thing. Despite losing her two closest friends, she finds comfort in knowing she did the right thing. Read the full update below:

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/gWYbF

‘ [UPDATE] Me [23F] with my friend [23F], she cheated on her boyfriend/my friend [25M] and doesn’t want to come clean?’

After I posted here Sarah decided to tell James parts of the truth and told me to stay out of it. I decided not to do that since he deserved the whole truth. I wanted to tell him in person but he couldn’t meet up because he was at a family gathering or something like it, I don’t remember. He called and asked me what I wanted to meet up for and I told him the whole truth.

That she cheated on him with her best friend, that she didn’t tell him everything that happened, etc. I was worried she got to him somehow and that he wouldn’t believe me, but he thankfully did. I still send him every text I had of her, which was probably incredibly helpful. While I was talking to him she sorta knew what was happening and drove over to his place immediately.

When she got there he hung up and they talked. She tried to weasel her way out of it but since he had her texts that didn’t work out too well. Before she came over he told me this was the last straw, especially since she lied to him about it and made out with said friend once before.

I don’t know what she did or what she said, but he did a complete 180 and suddenly he was okay with it. I’ve only talked to him twice since then and he told me that it’s not such a big deal and they’d get over it. They’ve completely cut me out of their lives,

when I asked him why he said he wanted to wait until his girlfriend and I had a talk and could get along again – which isn’t happening, since I don’t want to be friends with her anymore. It sucks that I’ve lost my two best friends even though I wasn’t even the one who fucked up, but at least I can sleep normally again.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

cnotethepyro −  He’ll believe how big of a deal this is once he catches an STD or she gets pregnant with another man’s baby. You’ve done all that you can/should. He will one day see her for what she is. As for you, you can move in knowing you did the right thing. Now go find some new friends who aren’t stupid

Pussycatelic −  It is a good thing they cut you out , you do not need them in your life. You should consider this outcome as a positive one.

OneBadAoudad −  This happened to me once. I told my close friend that I had known since elementary school that his girlfriend was cheating on him with my other friends, cousin. I had all the proof (texts, screenshots, pictures, everything). I cried in front of him because I felt so bad doing this to him. I wanted him to get away.

She found out it was me, things got really bad (she tried to have me hit her with my car. She was crazy). He ended up forgiving her (again, she cheated multiple times). He blocked me on everything. I was devastated. 2 years later, I got a Facebook friend request from him. I accepted. He then messaged me on there and said, “I’m sorry for how big of a douchebag I was when I was under the spell of a succubus.”

I was wary because I had heard this all before. He then told me all the changes he made and how he was moving hours away to get away from her. Starting over. He has kept his word. He is happy and away from her and it’s been years now. I have my friend back and it’s the best feeling ever. He may live further away from me now but he’s happy and that’s all that matters.

I honestly thought, at the time, we would never be friends again. This girl had him under her thumb and he believe everything she told him (like that a good guy friend just bought her a car because they were “friends”. Yea, no. Her kitty bought that car bro).

He was in an abusive relationship. Your friend, is in an abusive relationship. Keep that in mind. There may be a day he comes back, maybe for help getting out, maybe to tell you he got away. Either way, while it hurts now, he is someone that is broken. Don’t push him away if he tries comes back. That succubus has a tight grip. They may wiggle free someday.

TheCoolAuntie −  The outcome sucks, no matter which way it ended. You absolutely did do the right thing by telling him. When she cheats again and doesn’t change, he will have no illusions because he knows who he is dating: a cheater and a l**r. And she doesn’t want to talk to you again because she knows you will call out her b**lshit, so you are a liability to her ability to cheat.

You did good, girl. They can be disfunctional together. When it happens again, I bet you he will contact you and say you were right and try to restart the friendship, but you can cross that bridge when it happens.

jupitaur9 −  I bet she told him you made all this up, that you’re in love with him and hate her. Or she’s super hot and he figures it’s worth it. Whatever. I’m sorry you lost them both. He may come back when she keeps cheating and lying.

maitoi −  More people need friends like you 🙂

Succulent_Assortment −  Jesus, they both have some personal issues to work through…poor James…I’m sorry you lost your friends, but you have kept your integrity and that’s all that matters. And be proud that you did the right thing, it shows that you’re a really good friend and worthy of many friendships to come 🙂

nomnommish −  There’s a saying in my language that a stupid friend is far more dangerous than an intelligent enemy.

[Reddit User] −  She probably told an even bigger lie to get out of it. Like that you love 25M and you are trying to break them up so you can date him. Or maybe she said she was drunk and he took advantage of her. Who knows at this point what she can lie about without guilt.

Even though you seem to have lost your friends you did the right thing. You have shown you are a decent human being by telling 25M about his gf cheating and have shown you are a true friend and a better person than most. I hope you find some great new friends to hang out with because from your actions you deserve to have great people around you.

ezagreb −  This is what usually happens when you get in the middle of relationship drama – the two dramatic parties turn on you, assigning you the role of home wrecker.

It’s tough to do the right thing when it leads to painful consequences, but the Redditor found peace in knowing she was honest, even if it cost her friendships. Do you think James and Sarah will eventually come to realize the importance of her actions? Or do you think they’ll continue to distance themselves? Share your thoughts on the situation below.