Update: I feel like my husband (26m) puts things off until l (26f) end up handling things myself?

A Reddit user shared a heartfelt update three years after expressing frustration about her husband’s procrastination and lack of initiative in their relationship.

Reflecting on their journey, she reveals how their marriage unraveled, the lessons she learned, and the happiness she’s found after moving on. Read the original story below to discover her full journey.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/evNgs

‘ Update: I feel like my husband (26m) puts things off until l (26f) end up handling things myself?’

I made a post 3 years ago about my husband not taking the initiative when it came to purchasing a new car after a big move. My post didn’t get too big, but I’ve always liked seeing updates and a lot has changed in 3 years.

So, I decided to log back in and make my own! (I don’t know how to link the original but please take a look at the post history if you want to see my first post) After making the post, my husband had made an appointment to go look at cars. I remember feeling really good about everything in that moment.

I felt a huge relief knowing that this big thing was finally getting taken care of. When his appointment came, my husband called to tell me some good news. He had seen one car, decided it was good, and told me that this is the one we would be buying.

While he was still in the dealership, I asked him to tell me the details like how much the interest was and how much the car cost. I asked him if he had compared it to Kelly Blue Book to see if it was a fair deal.

My husband was kind enough to ask the salesman everything, but after each question he would add, “I’m sorry my wife is making this so difficult.” I was pretty hurt and embarrassed by this, and told him so, but he said all my questions were frustrating and were slowing down the process of the ONE thing I had asked him to do.

In the end, he decided to wait for me to arrive so that we could sign for the car together. I ended up getting picked up from the airport and taken straight to the car dealership. We got a good interest rate on the car, but we ended up overpaying by about $7,000.

I should have said no to the car and just looked myself, but I was young and embarrassed and I felt like I wasn’t being supportive. Thankfully, that car ended up being our only shared piece of property in our divorce. I didn’t trust him to refinance the car, so I ended up taking it.

We owed so much more money on the car than what it was worth that I couldn’t get it refinanced for several months. I ended up trading it in, and even though I’m still in the hole financially because of it, I am SO much happier now.

We did try therapy before ultimately divorcing. My ex husband was quite the prodigy- he was “cured” (his words, not mine) after a week. He said that he had it all figured out and didn’t see the point in continuing.

He also told me that he was the only one who had ever put any effort into the relationship, and that it was 100% my fault that we were divorcing. He told me that no one would ever love him again if I left and that he might as well off himself because there’s no point in going on.

When that didn’t work, he said that no one would ever love ME again and that I was lucky that he has stayed around as long as he did.
He then asked me if I would forge his signature on the divorce documents because I “was basically forcing him to do it anyways”. I did not.

Anyway, I’m happy to report that he was successfully able to move on from the trauma I put him through. He’s still around, but I’ve kept my distance because I can’t be bothered, so I’m unsure of what he’s up to. I was able to find someone after some time. My boyfriend is so kind. Sometimes I feel like it’s too god to be true.

Then again, I get twitterpated when he does simple things like taking out the trash, cooking, or maintaining a full time job… so the bar is in hell. (He’s a great guy, and he does more than the bare minimum I promise)

Looking back, I knew that I wanted a divorce, I just wasn’t ready to admit it. My ex husband didn’t love or respect me. I didn’t put many details of the relationship in my first post, and I don’t really feel the need to put it all out there now, but I know now that if someone truly loves you, they make sure you know..

See what others had to share with OP:

Plus-Implement −  Walking out on a marriage and untangling everything is really hard to do. You got married too young, it is amazing that you were able to do it. Enjoy you new life!! ps – the cured prodigy will find another poor woman that will live your same story.

Lucky-Technology-174 −  google “weaponized incompetence” girl

DJScopeSOFM −  Yeah, I know the type. Your husband is an i**ot who never take responsibility for anything and “you’ll get over it” is their motto.

RVAMeg −  He wouldn’t even….sign the papers, he wanted you to do THAT, too? Girl, I’m so glad you got out. This stuff is hard to see when you’re in it.

Tall_Elk_9421 −  well i am laughing here the “saved” one ! and after 1 week lol. the car stuff well i like private sales and have always done well there but to not be able to check interest /value and such is so low effort. happy to hear you found a good guy

B4J1K31SUK3 −  Damn what an a**hole thank goodness you divorced him Good riddance !

Summer_is_coming_1 −  Good for you prioritizing your mental peace and dating someone better

SilentButtsDeadly −  I feel a congratulations is in order! I never come across others that use twitterpated, this is so exciting!!!
Oh yeah good job on the other thing too I guess 🙃

ScaryButterscotch474 −  Yay you! That line about how nobody else would love you… I’m so glad that you didn’t buy it. He must have been desperate to say that.

October1966 −  Congratulations!!!! I know exactly what you mean!!! Found my forever and 28 years later still think I got too lucky.

How do you think personal growth and self-awareness help in overcoming toxic relationships? Have you experienced a turning point where you realized your worth and pursued happiness? Share your thoughts below!