Update: I cut my wife off from our finances because she wouldn’t stop ordering takeout?

A Reddit user shares an update on a troubling financial struggle with his wife, whose constant spending on takeout spiraled out of control. Despite his attempt to cut her off from their finances after she racked up over a thousand dollars in delivery bills, he discovered she went to extreme lengths to fund her habit, ultimately leading him to make a life-changing decision. Read the full story below.

‘ Update: I cut my wife off from our finances because she wouldn’t stop ordering takeout?’

Nine days ago, I made a post about how my unemployed wife had spent $1,176 on delivery apps in just a month. This is egregiously outside of what we can afford to spend on takeout, and since she didn’t seem willing to stop, I canceled our credit card and moved the money from our joint account into my own.

For the following few days, my wife kept talking about how I was financially abusing her. She threw several tantrums despite apparently being severely malnourished, threatened divorce, threw a bunch of the food we had in the fridge away to try and strongarm me into letting her get takeout, and even tried to guess my bank account password a bunch of times (sorry my password isn’t TacoBell123).

That last one was how I learned if you try to guess someone’s bank account password enough times, the bank will send them an automated email. But last Friday, the complaints and threats stopped. She seemed mostly back to normal. I figured she had given up.

That was until today, which was garbage day. When I took the last bag out before taking the bin down to the curb, I discovered half a dozen fast food bags and other takeout containers in it. My wife wasn’t supposed to have access to money. I had no idea how she was affording the food. I confronted her about it, and first she denied everything.

I had to bring all of her fast food garbage in to get her to fess up: she had taken out a loan. Now, I thought that she had borrowed money from a friend or family member. But she had taken out one of those predatory payday loans. Before you ask, no, I have NO IDEA how she was approved.

Within the next hour, I froze my credit. I then drove her to the payday loan place, where I paid the loan off in cash. I will now have to dip further into my savings to pay the rent.

I suppose in a certain way, cutting her off was successful. She didn’t order takeout anymore. She just drove to the restaurants to pick up her food, for the low low price of $20 for every $100 she borrowed, or $60 in fees in total.

In addition, I told her that we would be getting divorced. So yeah. My marriage is over. I don’t even know what alimony laws in my state are like, but I assume she’ll happily live in a cardboard box under a bridge if Uber Eats will bring her food there.

Check out how the community responded:

Bigjoeyjoe81 −  She has a serious food addiction. It isn’t just a matter of buying take out or not being able to cook. She needs professional help. Not that it’s your responsibility. You’re NTA for wanting a divorce after this.

Aegon2050 −  I think divorce is the best course of action here. She needs professional help but that’s not your problem anymore. I’m glad you took steps to protect yourself financially. Sadly there is just fundamentally something wrong with her and soon she’ll self destruct, starting with the divorce.

KickOk5591 −  Yeah but I would keep the receipts for the court so that they can see how much she spent on takeaways.

Weasvmp −  the ending of this is strangely satisfying. i genuinely like when people don’t take s**t from other people just because they care for them. that was worth the read

Harvard_Diplomat −  unemployed wife had spent $1,176 on delivery apps in just a month. my wife kept talking about how I was financially abusing her. threatened divorce. She needs to be an unemployed ex-wife applying for a jay oh bee.

Specific_Anxiety_343 −  Okay. I read your first post. Here’s some unsolicited advice from a retired lawyer slash boomer woman. Hire an attorney sooner rather than later. Don’t make a hasty decision. Most important, hire a woman. Don’t make the mistake of thinking a guy will fight harder for you. Au contraire. Some men have biases they may not even be aware of.

They might be subconsciously sympathetic to a woman who has never worked. More likely a subconscious bias toward traditional roles in a marriage. Permanent alimony is rare and typically awarded to people who have been a stay at home parent the whole time and do not have the education or skills to get a job.

If your wife is only 39 and does not qualify for disability, she can learn to support herself. If she doesn’t have a degree or has never worked, you might be ordered to support her for a couple years to give her time to get her act together. Good luck.

DivineTarot −  In addition, I told her that we would be getting divorced. So yeah. My marriage is over. This is the only part I wanted to see. Send your hobosexual wife packing, because she ain’t s**t, and life is too short for this genuine actual crap. Wash your hands of her, and live your life to its fullest regardless of what you end up having to pay.. NTA

ay_laluna −  I’m sorry to read this update, OP. Given that she risked tanking her credit for something as dumb as a payday loan, it seems like this might be about more than takeout, and could indicate a deeper emotional problem for her. I hope that she addresses it before her life unravels, and that you find some peace after the separation.

Frozefoots −  Has she gained weight with this diet?? 😳 My arteries are hurting just reading this. There’s no way this diet is sustainable without someone gaining a lot of weight and declining rapidly in health. She’s eating herself into an early grave. At least now you won’t be funding it anymore.

yggdrasillx −  It’s not gonna feel good right now, but trust that your future self will thank you for what you’ve done. I would seriously bring up her expenditures, food waste, and financial dangers she put you through in the proceedings. She INTENTIONALLY put both of you in financial danger.

Do you think cutting her off from their finances was the right move, or were there other ways he could have managed her spending? How would you handle a partner’s spending habits if they impacted your financial stability? Share your thoughts below!