Update: I (31F) think my husband (29M) and my sister (28F) are too close for comfort?

A woman shares the devastating conclusion to her suspicions about her husband’s closeness with her sister. Her husband confessed to falling in love with the sister and admitted to a months-long affair. The fallout has left her heartbroken as she navigates a divorce and strained family dynamics. Read her full update below.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/weLAK

‘ Update: I (31F) think my husband (29M) and my sister (28F) are too close for comfort?’

I apologize for not updating sooner, I’ve been busy getting things sorted out. After my first post on a Tuesday, I had asked my husband if he’d go on a little weekend getaway with me. We went to a cabin up in the mountains, neither of us had cell phone service. I planned for that, as I wanted to make sure I had his full attention. The first night went fantastic, and I almost forgot everything about my concerns with my sister.

When we woke up the next morning, we cooked breakfast together but he was rather quiet. I asked if he’d go on a little walk with me, which he agreed to. When we reached the lake, there were some large rocks that you could sit on. We both sat on the same rock, and we sat there in silence for what felt like forever. I finally got the courage to bring up the concerns I had with my sister and him, and his face went white.

He admitted to falling in love with my sister, he said that it all started because of how much they have in common. They spend more time together at work, than he does with me at home. He said he feels like he can talk to her about anything, and it never gets tiring.

He said he’s never felt more alive than he does when he’s with her, and they started having a physical affair in October. The emotional affair began in June (after working with her for a couple of months since the end of April). He apologized for hurting me, and deceiving/betraying me.

I asked him what he wanted to do about it, and he said that as much as he knows it will hurt me to say – he no longer is in love with me. The most painful thing I’ve ever heard in my life is when he said that the way he feels for her, made him realize that he’s never once felt that way for me even at the time when he loved me the most. He said it’s not comparable by any measure, and he doesn’t feel right staying married to me.

We are splitting in agreement that the marriage is over, but yes I am heart broken. They have both applied to transfer jobs to a different city with the same company, and he offered to let me keep the house. I told him that I didn’t want the house, because it reminds me of him/us.

We have split the finances, and he is giving me more money than he is taking. We are getting ready to list it for sale, and I have been packing and doing odds and ends like painting. He said I could keep the full amount of the house sale. New carpet/flooring comes tomorrow, and the movers come this afternoon. I found a small house for myself to start fresh, but I know it will take some time for me to not be so heart broken.

My sister on the other hand is not handling it as kindly as he is, and she is gloating. She even “accidentally” sent me a photo of both of them where you can tell she is in heaven because she won him away from me. She changed her profile photo to a picture of her taking a selfie of herself smiling very smug, as he is kissing her forehead.

I unfollowed her on TikTok because now she’s posting videos and photos of them together, some of them are from months ago and it kicked me in the heart. I asked him if he could please ask her to stop, he said he’d talk to her about it but nothing has changed. I have removed myself from social media for now, except for reddit.

My mother is favoring my sister’s side, saying that she’s not posting those things to “hurt me”, and my sister deserves to be happy. My mom said it’s my fault for looking, and I need to stop being so petty. My father is taking the white flag, and said he’d like to stay out of it.

He said it’s not right what my sister did, but she’s still his daughter. He said he won’t accept their relationship, and he is here for me for whatever I need – but he won’t be in the middle of this. I respect his decision on that, I’m sure it’s not an easy place to be in. Thank you all for the kind words, and all of the advice that was given. I probably didn’t add everything, but my brain is kind of foggy at the moment.

TL;DR: My husband admitted to being in love with my sister, and having an affair. He asked for a divorce, and they are pursuing their relationship officially.

**Edit:** For those thinking that this unrealistic because it was magically resolved in 18 days, it is far from resolved. They are moving to a different office because he said he feels guilty, and doesn’t want to be near me. They have not transferred yet, because they can’t for a while due to lack of openings.

I worded it wrong, which is my fault. I wanted to update as much as possible as to try to put closure to this for those asking for an update. Also, I am NC with all of them except my STBX at the moment and will be for a long time, if not forever. I will be NC with him after the divorce.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

yellowlinedpaper −  My sister likes to steal men away from other women too. Trust me, it’s not going to last. She’s going to get bored once she realizes it’s not ‘getting’ to you. I give it 4 years max. I warn men I’m in a relationship with how unfortunate she is, only one has ever fallen for it. Her friends don’t always realize it soon enough so she’s gotten a few of theirs. The best revenge is living a good life. Don’t let her see you sweat.

jrodshibuya −  Woah. I’m so sorry. That is just awful, from all of them.

Fjordgard −  The fact that your (ex-)husband isn’t shutting your sister’s behavior down shows very much that he isn’t “handling this kindly”. He is giving you the money for the house *for himself*, to absolve himself of the guilt he might feel or to look less s**tty in front of the people who might take your side.

It has nothing to do with you. If he had any love (even platonic love) or respect for you, he would have broken up with you before starting a relationship with anyone else, no matter with whom. Your sister is more open about her not giving a s**t about you (or even hating you), but he isn’t any better. We are the company we keep and this woman is the one he has chosen.

I think you need to take a big, big step away from your whole family, including your parents, after you’re done with the divorce and thus not needing to stay in contact anymore. It sounds like none of these people really love and support you – quite the opposite. Please find yourself a good therapist and a healthy support network in form of great friends who have your back.

ComparisonFlashy8522 −  I’m so sorry OP, the betrayal must be so hard to bear. Your husband is a c**ard for making you confront him and end the relationship. A better man would have confessed about an emotional affair and ended things amicably before taking things further with your sister. You are truly well rid of such a weak man and deserve a love more intense and lasting than his lukewarm feelings.

I’m glad they are moving away so they are not in your face all the time, but know that this will not last forever for them. Your sister is gloating now, but the novelty will quickly disappear as they settle into normal life. She’ll then be off looking for more intrigue and excitement.

Your sister is truly your mother’s daughter. Did your mum already know about the affair? You are mourning the end of your marriage, in the most horrible way, and it is not petty to be upset at your sister’s gloating in the triumph of her betrayal.

Please go no contact with her and only communicate with your dad. *(Edit: I’m glad to see OP has gone NC with both parents. Dad needs to prove himself as not taking sides is still taking the sister’s side)* I’m so proud of you OP, you know your worth and took action with your life. Take care and aim for the stars.

giag27 −  My heart sank. I felt the heartbreak, and the betrayal not only by these 2 vile people but from her family as well. I’m so sorry Op, I can’t imagine.. I wish I was your friend IRL.. no one is fighting for you. People make me sick.

Tasty_Doughnut_9226 −  OP I’m so sorry you’re going through this and clearly your sister takes after your mother, as your mother doesn’t think her daughter being a POS is any concern and you should just get over it. Is she just expecting you to be happy at family gatherings, but I can guess that you’ll get the ultimatum from your mum, they’re always going to be welcome and you come or don’t.

Way to parents not holding their children to account for s**tty behaviour. Your ex is also a huge POS. I wish them paranoia and a lifetime of itchy genitals on your behalf. You do what is right for you/your mental health. At that may also mean going LC with your parents as it doesn’t sound like they support you at all.

childerolaids −  I would suggest holding off on making any more money-related decisions about your divorce until your righteous anger kicks in.

justdrowsin −  I know exactly what’s going on. Your sister is a spoiled n**cissist b**t. Your husband is being love bombed by her. Your husband does not realize that he is not in a real relationship with her. I give it six months before he’s in for a world of shock. Her mask will slip, and the true a**sive nature will come out.

I don’t think she even likes him that much. He provides her value because he belonged to you, her own sister. She’s probably been jealous of you her whole life and has been validating her own self-worth by putting you down. Your parents have gone along with it, haven’t they? Now that she has him, she will look down on him.

With a year he will either be in a miserable relationship, or seriously regretting what he has done. There are no winners here. And what he did was clearly wrong. He was tested, and he failed. He is going to lose everything.

ChallengeFlat7795 −  You split amicably?!? Your mother is favoring your sisters side?!? YOUR HUSBAND CHEATED ON YOU WITH YOUR SISTER!!! How did you not burn your sister’s house down or something? Why are you not incensed by this level of betrayal??

bellwetherr −  this is brutal, OP, i am so so sorry for what you’re going through i hope you can find some peace and really take care of yourself! you deserve it!

How would you handle such betrayal, especially when family is involved? Can broken family ties like these ever be mended, or is moving on the only path? Share your thoughts below.