UPDATE – I (30F) and boyfriend (31M) live 40km apart and have very conflicting schedules. Haven’t seen him since beginning of August. He cancelled a date last night right before we were meant to meet. Feeling rejected. Am I wasting my time?
After months of feeling neglected in a long-distance relationship, a woman finally confronted her boyfriend’s lack of effort and a suspicious discovery. When her concerns were met with indifference, she ended the relationship, prioritizing her own happiness. Read her empowering decision below.
‘ UPDATE – I (30F) and boyfriend (31M) live 40km apart and have very conflicting schedules. Haven’t seen him since beginning of August. He cancelled a date last night right before we were meant to meet. Feeling rejected. Am I wasting my time?’
Thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice. I finally saw him last weekend for the first time in about seven weeks (he invited me over). He seemed happy to see me at first, but things just seemed a little…off. Like we didn’t know what to say to each other.
I stayed with him on the Saturday night. Had a shower Sunday morning and the first thing I saw was a bottle of camellia-scented body scrub that was definitely not mine and I can’t remember ever seeing it before. He lives alone. INSTANT RED FLAG. Stupidly I didn’t confront him about it straight away, I wish I had.
Over the next couple of days I tried to make conversation with him and he either left me on read or sent really short replies. Finally, on Wednesday night I’d had enough – and I’m not proud of how I acted but I was so hurt by the anxiety and the pain of feeling rejected – I blocked him on Facebook without any warning.
The following afternoon, I got a text message *”Hey, ummm…so did you block me?”*. I responded:
*I did. I give up. Life’s too short to be someone’s afterthought.*
*Whether you’ve just lost interest or whether there’s somebody else (when you jump in the shower on a Sunday morning and see girly body scrub that isn’t yours, you gotta wonder), or both, I really don’t care.
I deserve better and it’s not worth feeling like a dirty little secret and feeling like s**t when I could be happy by myself, or go find someone who lifts me up and genuinely wants to be in my life and vice versa. I’m angry at myself for letting this drag out for so long. I should have let go ages ago but I guess I hoped that things would get better. More fool me.*
Haven’t heard from him since so I guess the trash took itself out! He clearly didn’t care about me at all. I’m 31 tomorrow, looks like I’ll be spending it free and single!
Check out how the community responded:
1Operator − Good riddance, and cheers to new beginnings!
ShelfLifeInc − He sounds like a c**ard. Won’t answer your messages, ignores you, but still wants to secretly stalk you on facebook. Then acts indignant when he realises he’s blocked.
You wrote a great response back. You weren’t sad and begging for answers, you weren’t angry and accusing him of something he could deny. You just laid it out like it is: this is a sorry excuse for a relationship, and you’re not going to waste anymore time on it.
I’m sure your feelings are all a mess inside, but you gave a very cool, calm and collected response as to why he isn’t worth any of your energy. Well done. You handled this brilliantly. Best wishes for your birthday and the year ahead!
[Reddit User] − I didn’t see your first post so I didn’t get to comment. But…. My bf and I live over 100km apart and we make an effort to see each other EVERY weekend. If you don’t seem worth that to him… why would you be with him? Good f**king riddance.. You should be with someone that has no problem making time to see you!
TransformedMegachile − Be prepared for him to come crawling back once he realizes body wash girl was a fluke and he lost someone who really put in the effort!!
pinkpikachu7 − You said what most of us wish we would have said to someone who treated us like we were worth nothing. So much satisfaction just reading that.
Happy birthday girl 👏🏻 treat yourself, do whatever makes you happy, even if it means being a bit wreckless. Hell, ESPECIALLY be a little wreckless. You earned it xx
nwstrngme − Well done! I’m in a similar situation, with a guy who hasn’t time for me and has seemingly lost interest. I’m not spending one more second wasting my time on him. Good riddance to people who don’t appreciate us! Happy birthday 🎂🎉
SugarKyle − He didn’t want to try. My boyfriend and I lived 100km from each other (I did the conversion. US we drive more but it was still an hour and a half with traffic). We still saw each other once a week. Sometimes he would come and have dinner with me on my work weekends when I couldn’t visit him.
I’d go over on my day off during the week and have dinner and sometimes stay over and leave to go to work the next day. It wasn’t fun but it was doable and because we both tried it worked. He is a c**ard and just hoped you’d fall away.
sgmalek89 − I was in a very similar situation for over a year except he only lived 15 minute away AND we worked together in the same row of cubicles.. and still would go days without talking! We would hang out maybe 2-3 times a month even though he was 37 and childless and I was 29 and had two kids from a previous marriage. I always made an effort but he never did.
I was fortunate to meet an amazing man who saw how unhappy I was and fought to get me out of it so he could love me and show me my worth and what I deserved. I am thankful every day for him because I’d probably still be stuck in the loop of anxiety, r**ection, and wondering why I wasn’t good enough when in reality, HE wasn’t good enough for ME.. Stay strong girl.
yakirzeev − People drive more than 40km on their daily commute. That’s nothing. I’m glad you’re free of that scumbag.
Aberrantkitten − That was a great text. You explained yourself clearly, showed great self care/respect and was not rude in any way. Well done.
Sometimes, letting go is the best gift you can give yourself. Have you ever walked away from a situation that didn’t value your worth? Share how you reclaimed your happiness!