[UPDATE]: I [30F] am a doctor. My boyfriend [29M] of 1.5 yrs is a nurse. My dad’s [50M] wife [48F] of 4 years continuously makes fun of my boyfriend for his profession and I’m tired of it.

A Reddit user, a doctor, shares an update about the ongoing issue with her father’s wife, Cindy, who had been making demeaning jokes about her boyfriend’s nursing profession. After receiving advice from the Reddit community, the user took Cindy out to lunch and directly addressed the situation.

Cindy revealed that her past experiences with an abusive ex-husband had led her to make the jokes out of fear for the user’s future, though she acknowledged that her behavior was hurtful. After an emotional conversation, Cindy apologized, and the relationship between the two women began to heal. Read the original story below.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/JZeDR

‘ [UPDATE]: I [30F] am a doctor. My boyfriend [29M] of 1.5 yrs is a nurse. My dad’s [50M] wife [48F] of 4 years continuously makes fun of my boyfriend for his profession and I’m tired of it.’

My first post blew up in a way I didn’t expect it to, but I wanted to thank you all for your advice. You gave me a lot to think about so when it came time to talk to Cindy, I wouldn’t trip over my words or anything.

I took her out to lunch yesterday (Sunday), and just very matter-of-factly told her how I was tired of her disparaging my bf, how I was tired of her putting down nursing as a profession and dismissing it just as “women’s work”, and finally told her that despite her insistence that she was just joking,

I found her “jokes” offensive and was done with hearing them. I made it very clear that my boyfriend hadn’t sent me to defend him but that I was the one who was offended and tired of it. She started to cry a little (which was alarming) and broke down and told me why she was doing what she was doing.

Apparently, long story short, in her first marriage, Cindy’s income was more than double of that of her husband. After a year or so of marriage, he quit his job and ended up just mooching off of her. He became incredibly emotionally a**sive and ruined her financially until she was able to get out and leave him.

Basically–she was nervous that the same would happen to me, and she hoped that her “jokes” would sway my opinion enough to leave my bf. I was kind of ??????? about her explanation, but she told me that she knew the jokes were childish and offensive, but she didn’t know how else to go about it.

She said that I was the closest thing to a daughter she had, and that she loves me very much and that she felt awful about everything.
I started getting teary at this, and I told her that the jokes especially hurt from her because she’s someone I care deeply for, and she apologized profusely for having offended/hurting me.

She said she really thought my boyfriend was a nice guy and that she wanted to get to know him better, which thrilled me. I went home, told my boyfriend (who didn’t know why I was gone, I wanted to be covert about it), and he was thrilled.

He told me that secretly he WAS upset about the jokes, as he knew that Cindy was someone I cared a lot for, but put on a game face because he didn’t want to drive a wedge in between us. He told me he loved me, and thanked me for standing up for him, and said he’s looking forward to getting to know Cindy better too! And my dad is over the moon as well 🙂

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

[Reddit User] −  Awesome all around. Cindy’s reasoning is…flawed, to say the least. But I’m glad it was something easily dismissed and handled. You rock.

awildwoodsmanappears −  Whew, reasonable people for a change. Congrats! At least you don’t have to make everyone breakfast.

radialomens −  This is also a fantastic example of a strong, healthy relationship with your partner. He recognized your delicate position, you cared about his feelings without needing him to force you, and you both proved yourselves considerate of one another. How happy. You two are pleasantly mature and functional.

Srboyd −  I’m really impressed on how quickly you nipped this in the bud. It seems like there are so many posts here about SOs feeling hurt by their in-laws. You didn’t even wait until you thought it was an issue for your BF. An insult to your SO was an insult to you, and you handled it with grace and maturity. Fantastic job, OP.

luigisravioli −  Cindy sounds like a nut case.

midwestmurse −  26 Male pediatric ER Nurse here. Best profession in the world. I get a ton of respect from nearly everyone when they ask about my career. Occasionally some guy will laugh about me being a nurse but when I tell them how much I make,

the opportunity to get a job anywhere very quickly, and having a great work family, they generally shut up and don’t compare their 9-5 l**e desk job to me. Also being a single male in an extremely target rich environment is every mans dream.

Gladness2Sadness −  WOOT!. I love happy endings.

ipostwhatiwantbitch −  Thats some pretty evil/m**ipulative s**t from Cindy. I wouldn’t trust her moving forward.

Dancing_Pandas −  Her explanation makes no sense at all. But she knows she is in the wrong, which is something.

Anon17666 −  In all respect to you, that explanation is complete b**lshit. Glad she apologized but what she’s doing psychologically is playing victim when she has a feeling of being attacked. It’s a natural response, but you shouldn’t feel sorry for her whatsoever as it will only fuel the behavior.

It’s incredible how communication can resolve misunderstandings and heal rifts. Have you ever had to confront a close family member about something difficult? How did you approach it, and what was the outcome? Share your thoughts below!