Update: I (24F) think my dad’s ex girlfriend (50sF) is stalking me

A Redditor shared an update on their earlier suspicion of being stalked by their estranged father’s ex-girlfriend. After seeking professional advice, they realized their fears stemmed from anxiety and past trauma, not actual stalking.

The Redditor has started medication, plans to leave their mentally draining job, and is working on grounding techniques to improve their mental health. Read the full update below for the detailed resolution.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/YVytH

‘ Update: I (24F) think my dad’s ex girlfriend (50sF) is stalking me’

First I want to clear some things up about my job. I work 4AM-8PM Monday through Friday. I get paid for driving, so the 2 hour commute to and from work is included in those hours, not on top of them. I don’t work for any school – my company is a contractor with many different schools.

It is illegal to make employees work so many hours where I live, but most of the people who work here either don’t care because the money is so good or they quit early on. I don’t want to say what I do specifically because from there it would be easy to find out what company I work for which I imagine could get me in legal trouble.

I didn’t want to call my doctor yesterday because I was afraid to leave work and because I didn’t want my coworkers or anyone at the school to hear what was going on.

However, I ended up doing so because I noticed there was a teacher with my last name (which is also my dad’s, and is quite rare unlike the girlfriend’s common name) and I panicked a little.

I excused myself to the bathroom and called my doctor, who advised me to come in, and then I told me coworkers I had to leave because of a medical emergency. I was not medicated before, but I have now started a new medication which will hopefully work.

I have some mental exercises that I used the one other time I have had a really bad delusion like this (I thought my house was infested with fleas but they were really just on the dog) and they’re helping to ground me.

I think I am afraid of my dad trying to get back into my life (he does this every so often) which is why I jumped straight to thinking it was his ex stalking me, and my doctor agrees. I also have put in my two weeks notice at work.

I have enough money to get by for the next few months if I can’t get another job right away, and this job is destroying me physically and mentally. I did also buy a CO detector but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

I also live with my fiancé who is not having similar symptoms. Thank you to everyone who replied to the original post. I’m sorry I worried you.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Nadaplanet −  I’m really glad you found time to go to the doctor and work on your mental health! And I’m glad you put in your notice at that job…they were overworking you to the extreme, which probably exacerbated your mental state and made everything so much worse.
You’ve taken some great steps. Keep it up!

[Reddit User] −  You’re not crazy, you’re ill, and you’re taking steps to get well. I’m so proud of you!

Gulliverlived −  Actually, realizing you need help, and not dithering around in getting it makes you a goddam rockstar. I wish you all the best, good luck, good life.

happilydaydreaming −  Good luck OP. You have taken some big steps. We’re rooting for you.

woman_thorned −  good job, you did GREAT. it is so hard to get over that hump to take action but you did it! now find ways, including involving your fiance or your mom, to make sure you do your follow up visits and re-examine your symptoms and do your exercises. you got this.

Siren_of_Madness −  I’m so proud of you!!!! It’s a Really Big Deal to recognize when something like this happens, **and** to be able to take the steps necessary to fix it. You’re super strong and amazing!

ashleyoglesby −  You’re not crazy. I have BPD. Everything that happens, I overthink. If I let myself spiral even a BIT past the healthy line of thinking into things, I will think that everyone is out to get me. You are going to be okay, OP! And you’re going to feel better now that you’ve talked about it & are headed in the right direction.

sweetrhymepurereason −  I’m so glad you were able to figure out what was going on. Good luck on your mental health journey and keep positive 🙂

AceyAceyAcey −  Good work realizing what’s going on and getting on some meds to help! That’s a huge scary step, and we’re all rooting for you. Now the next step is ongoing maintenance, and learning your warning signs. Are you seeing a therapist weekly?

Maybe you and them can develop a checklist to help you understand when you’re having an episode, vs. when the paranoia is legit – because you have a bad relationship with your father and his girlfriend, it’s good to not dismiss your worries completely, but learn to adjust them to realistic levels,

and your therapist can help you with this. Can you confide in your boyfriend when you’re getting worried too, so he can help serve as a “sanity check” (if you like the fun language like that) or a “smell test” (if you want to avoid using possibly stigmatizing language)?

See if you can build up a network of a few trustworthy people like this, so when you’re worried you can turn to them for help grounding yourself.. Best of luck!

moosickles −  Not crazy! You are ill and it’s okay, you did nothing wrong, you hurt no one. You’re doing your best now to get better and that makes you awesome.

How would you handle similar fears stemming from past trauma? Do you think the Redditor made the right steps to prioritize their mental health and safety? Share your thoughts and experiences below!