[UPDATE] I [22M] suspect something between my girlfriend [22F] and my friend [21M]. We all live together. Am I imagining things?

A 22-year-old Reddit user discovered heartbreaking evidence that his girlfriend was cheating on him with a neighbor. His suspicions were confirmed when he caught them in a compromising situation at home. The betrayal has left him reeling, navigating the emotional fallout while seeking support from a close friend. Read his raw and detailed account of dealing with heartbreak and betrayal below.

‘ [UPDATE] I [22M] suspect something between my girlfriend [22F] and my friend [21M]. We all live together. Am I imagining things?’

The majority of you suggested that I speak to Brooke and/or attempt to walk in on the act. I decided on doing both. Sunday night everyone was back in the apartment. I had every intention of speaking to Brooke about the neighbor’s comment alone, but before I could she said something that completely threw my theory off.

She told Derek to get to bed so he wouldn’t be tired for work in the morning. What. I knew Derek has a job on campus, but he had always worked the same night shifts. Being as casual as possible, I inquired how long he’d been working mornings and when he started.

He said he picked up the extra shifts a month ago and worked at 9. (I leave at 7:45 so it’s possible for me not to have noticed that). I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out whether he was lying about that, whether still he had some mornings here at home, whether Alexis could be seeing someone other than Derek in the mornings (like some of you suggested) or (again) if I was just a paranoid l**er.

I went to bed feeling emotionally drained and confused. The next morning I left for classes as usual and operated on autopilot. I alternated between thinking I’d run home to check on Alexis and thinking I had way too much work to run around based on a theory that I wasn’t even sure about anymore. In the end, I walked out of my first class and straight to my car to go home. In a weird way, I sort of wish I hadn’t.

When I got to the apartment Derek’s car wasn’t there, just Alexis’. I walked to the apartment with my heart pounding all sorts of crazy. I don’t know what I was expecting. Outside the apartment door I could immediately here a guy’s voice inside. I heard him talking and laughing and a soft feminine mumble replying and giggling back.

I’ve been on this subreddit long enough to see all the different reactions people have to this situation. I never once contemplated what I’d do. I pressed my ear to the door and see if I could make out what they were saying, but I could only make out a word here and there. There was a lot of giggling.

Then, I heard the sound of Alexis being tickled and shrieking. Maybe I should’ve waited more. In retrospect I wish I did, but I couldn’t take it. As soon as I started fiddling with my keys, it was dead silence in there.

She was f**king Mark. I never mentioned Mark in the previous post but he’s one the guys in the apartment next to us (**not** the one that tipped me off). He’s the only one I never liked. F**king know-it-all douchebag attitude. Always made inappropriate comments towards both girls. Never thought anything of it.

As soon as I opened the door, they both gave me a deer-in-headlights look that removed any naiive doubt I may have retained that the situation was innocent. I was planning on yelling at them or demanded answers, but (and this is f**king embarrassing) my eyes began to well with tears. I didn’t want them to see that s**t. So I said “Nice. Real f**king nice.” and bolted back to my car.

I heard Alexis yelling my name in the hallway and picked up the pace. I sort of expected her to be chasing me but by the time I got to the car there was no one following me. I drove to a park that’s near the apartment and sat there in disbelief.

My first thought, weirdly enough was *How is my family going to take this? What the hell am I going to tell them?* My family f**king loved Alexis. They joked about our wedding and regularly called her part of the family. Then I started thinking about living arrangements.

Our finals end in about two weeks, there’s no way I can handle moving now. I’m applying to an extremely competitive graduate program and I can’t let anything get in the way of that. Definitely not this cheating b**ch.

I’m writing this from a friend’s house. I explained the situation, he explained it to his parents and they welcomed me to stay in their home. I’m going to have to go back home to get some clothes sometime. I’m planning on going during this lab period I know Alexis can’t skip tomorrow. It took her an hour or so to start blowing up my phone, but once she did it didn’t stop.

She started off asking me to come home so she could explain. Before I even had the chance to respond she sent another one begging me to come back because she was having an anxiety attack, something I always help her through. Maybe I’m heartless, but all I could think was *good, you earned it*.

There was a pause and then she sent “I don’t know why you get so jealous, we were just hanging out.” I waited. She sent “Look, I know it looks super sketchy, believe me if I were you I’d think the same thing, but we didn’t do anything. He needed advice on his girl problems. You have to believe me.” No, no I don’t.

Normally I would have gotten a weird sense of satisfaction watching a c**ater scramble to cover their ass, but my stupid brain just kept replaying all these great times we had together and wondering if she was cheating then too. I want to know when this started, but at the same time I’m worried it’s been going on for longer than the month I’ve suspected something.

I received a text later that night from a number I didn’t recognize. It was the nice dude from next door. He said (paraphrasing because it was a long text) that he got my number from Derek. He was extremely sorry for what I was going through and that he would have told me sooner but he wasn’t completely sure.

He said he knew his friend was seeing a girl with a boyfriend, but didn’t put it together until he learned the girl’s name. As many of you suspected, the comment was him trying to tip me off. So yeah, I guess he’s bro of the year.

I don’t think Derek and Brooke know yet. I haven’t texted them. I haven’t found the words. I know it’s going to turn our living arrangement and friendships upside down. I guess I should message them before Alexis paints a different picture. I wonder what the cool neighbor said when he asked for my number. I don’t think he told them, the would have said something… Right? Unless they took her side. Then I’ve lost my girlfriend *and* friends.

Any advice on coping with something like this, especially from those who have been there before, please let me know. I don’t have many friends to reach out to besides the guy I’m staying with. Alexis, Brooke and Derek were basically my family. Alexis and I had talked about spending our lives together. I have never been serious about a girl the way I was with her. 

Check out how the community responded:

[Reddit User] −  Man that is… That sucks. Talk to Derek right away. He is close to the situation and might provide some insight and might be able to help. Brooke is a tougher sell though, because of how close she is to Alexis. Buy the guy across the hall a pack of beer. And don’t drop the ball on finals or graduate school. You will be in a better place next semester once you continue kicking ass at school.

putsch80 −  She didn’t chase you and took an hour before texting you? Either she wanted to get in one last good f**k with Mark, or she knew she was fucked over and was trying to come up with a story. Or both. Go no contact. Focus on your studies and tests.

You’ve got big things ahead in your life and don’t need this two-timing ho to drag you down with her lies and gas lighting. A few months from now this will be a distant memory. Good luck! Please post another update after s**t settles to let us know how much better things are without her.

[Reddit User] −  Like the others said, concentrate on your school work and finals. Pour your whole soul into it. Then get into grad school and just move on with your life. If Mark is the douchebag you say he is, let her wallow in his glory for a while. Don’t respond to her texts or calls. Cut ALL communication with her. This really, really sucks. I am a guy and not very emotional but this brought tears to my eyes. I hate a f**king c**ater more than anything.

I bet she waits outside one of your classes and tries to corner you. If she does, mention the neighbor hearing them f**king and the condom in the trash. She won’t be able to deny it. When she does corner you, be ready. No crying, no swearing, just “Get the hell out of my life!”

FL2PC7TLE −  Hold out with the silent treatment. It’s clearly killing her, and she needs a little killing (figuratively speaking.) Just keep doing what you’re doing: dealing with the arrangements (where to sleep, what to get, getting through exams, staying on course) and keep that Cold Silence.. You’re doing fine.

ThrowThisShitAway747 −  OP, I made an account for the first time just to write to you.

First, I’m very sorry that you are going through this. I went through something very similar, and it is a terrible feeling. I won’t get into my story, but, suffice to say, the cheating broke me. It didn’t break my heart, it broke me as a whole. I chose to mask the pain with alcohol, which caused a problem I am just starting to get in control almost 2 years later

Please, don’t let this happen to you. You MUST put these new feelings into something healthy. People always joke “lawyer up and hit the gym”, and it is actually true. The real feelings will come soon, and they will come hard. Anger overtook sadness for me, and it made me become someone I didn’t recognize. I learned to put those feelings into the weights, and it really helped.

I wish I could tell you that it will all go away, but this will stick with you for a long time. The anger and sadness will fade, but the knowledge that someone you loved and trusted could do that to you will always be with you. Don’t sabotage future relationships, but remember this feeling if you ever feel the need to stray from your future SO.

Turn this experience into a positive one. Use the new feelings to boost your studying. Use the feelings positively. Stay away from alcohol for a bit and let your body go through the grieving process. Tell your roommates what happened, and most importantly, NEVER TAKE THIS GIRL BACK.

She will come up with some convincing arguments that will play with your emotions and feelings. Just push through and don’t give in to them. In a few months, when yoy get the email at 2 a.m. saying “I miss you”, you can laugh and enjoy knowing that she knows she fucked up.. Good luck brother.

ToKnowYourself −  Been through something similar. Feels absolutely terrible. I’m so sorry for you. The reality is, you’ve now learned that you’ve got good instincts that you can now learn to trust even more. These instincts will you get you far. Also, the fact that your neighbor tried to help you – it means you’re a good guy who people want to help.

Take a moment to get this stuff out of your head, practical stuff and so on. You also might have to get an STD test? You have been using condoms, but still… you might want to consider that.

And then focus on your exams like the others said. Don’t hold on to the anger for too long, “it’s like holding on to a burning coal to throw it, you’ll just end up hurting yourself”. They’ll be carrying a burden because of this for a long time – that’s their punishment. You’ll get through it. It’s these challenges in life that make us better people.

Throway99038 −  I sort of wish I hadn’t. Trust me. In few months you will thank heavens you came home early.

Offthepoint −  The guy who tried to tip you off and the people who are letting you stay with them are golden. Just remember they exist when you feel alone in this. Keep your eye on the prize of your education and how it’s going to pay off down the road.

As for your girlfriend, as much as this hurts (one of my brothers used to say that “chick pain” hurts the most), it’s better that you found out about her *now*, instead of down the road, when you’re married and have a kid or two. She may spin her story for your roommates, but reality is reality. Good luck, OP.

Like any difficult thing, take it a day at a time. You will fall out of love with her and find someone who deserves a good guy. It sounds like the universe has a different plan for you. May the force be with you.

dragonfliesloveme −  The fact that she cheated on you with someone who sounds just awful and gross is really just the icing on this s**t-cake. I’m a girl, and I can’t stand guys that are always making inappropriate comments to girls. Just ugh, no, gross.

Alexis really fucked up. Sounds like she ruined a great relationship with a great guy for some disgusting, arrogant p**ck. Way to go, Alexis, real f**king nice, indeed! I’m so sorry this happened. Best of luck to you, you have a bright future ahead. The pain subsides over time.

(Probably way too soon for you to hear this…but maybe down the road, you could sell your story; write a short story or a screenplay or something. It was a compelling story, you had us all behind you and on the edge of our seats. Make a million bucks, they say success is the best revenge.)

[Reddit User] −  Buddy… I’m sorry. I’ve been waiting for this update because I *knew* she was cheating on you. I’ve felt that same panic when all the pieces of a very heartbreaking puzzle come together, and all you want are the pieces to blow away. Good on you for following your gut, and confronting the issue.

Don’t let this get you down, don’t let her win. When you feel that pain in your stomach from the memories of her, use that strength to push forward. In a year you will be glad it is over with and she will never forgive herself for what she did, and you shouldn’t forgive her either. DO NOT GIVE HER THAT SATISFACTION, she will ask for it but don’t give in. Block her from your life and move forward.

Do you have any idea why she would have cheated on you? And what a f**king a**hole that neighbor is! Good luck in the future, buddy. An internet stranger is rooting for you!!

Heartbreak is never easy, especially when it involves betrayal by those you trust. Have you ever faced something similar? How did you cope and rebuild your life? Share your thoughts and support below.