UPDATE: I [22F] am graduating and can’t find a job in my chosen field here, but my BF [30M] refuses to move
A young woman, after much deliberation, chose to accept a dream job in her desired field, even though it meant ending her relationship with her boyfriend of seven months. While the breakup was amicable and rooted in practicality, she’s facing emotional challenges as she prepares for her big move in a few months. For now, she’s focusing on finishing her studies, saving money, and preparing for the next chapter in her life.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/jLIKc
‘ UPDATE: I [22F] am graduating and can’t find a job in my chosen field here, but my BF [30M] refuses to move’
I decided to take the advice I received from Reddit, my family, my professor, and others who weighed in, and I accepted the job offer. It’s genuinely an amazing opportunity—one that aligns perfectly with what I’ve always wanted to do. The position is in a beautiful city with a reasonable cost of living, and during the interview process,
I felt like this was a team where my skills and contributions would truly be valued. It’s the kind of role that doesn’t come around often, and I know deep down that it’s the right move for my career and, ultimately, for my long-term happiness.
That said, this decision has come with some emotional hurdles. After a lot of discussion, my boyfriend and I decided to end our relationship amicably. It was a tough call, but we both knew that the long-distance dynamic would be incredibly challenging, especially given the intensity of my new role and the sheer distance involved—2,500 miles.
We both care deeply for each other, but we recognized that this was the best path for both of us. Unfortunately, I can’t move out to my new city for another 3.5 months because I simply don’t have the funds to relocate earlier.
My classes this semester are all online, which technically means I could leave earlier, but the cost of uprooting my life and moving across the country is significant. As a result, I’m stuck in my current location for the time being, which brings its own set of challenges.
One of the hardest parts is knowing that I’ll inevitably run into my ex if I attend local social events. The thought of seeing him with someone new honestly feels like a dagger twisting through my heart. Even though our breakup was amicable and rooted in mutual respect, it doesn’t make the emotional toll any easier to bear.
It’s hard to let go of someone you love, even when you know it’s for the best. For now, I’ve resolved to keep to myself, focus on finishing my classes, and avoid situations w Despite the emotional weight of the situation, I’m confident I’m making the best decision for my future.
This job represents a significant step forward in my career and opens up so many possibilities for personal and professional growth. I know these next few months are going to be tough—there’s no way around that—but I’m determined to push through. I keep reminding myself that this discomfort is temporary, and what lies ahead is an opportunity to build the life I’ve always dreamed of.
So, for now, I’m focusing on tying up loose ends here, saving as much money as possible, and mentally preparing for the big move. It’s bittersweet to close this chapter of my life, but I’m hopeful about what the future holds. This job feels like the start of something incredible, and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
LadyApsalar − Oh thank god, I was getting a little worried there based on some of your comments in the original post. You absolutely made the right decision.
Toepale − Okay, don’t spend your last days of freedom before starting a job hiding because you are afraid of running into an ex. Trust me when you work for 49 weeks with 3 weeks off, you will curse yourself for not taking advantage of all the free time you had back when life was simpler.
0biterdicta − You made the right choice! Best of luck with the move!
thesavvydog − Congrats on your new job!. You 100% made the right decision!
IAmRatherBritish − 7 Months?
Dude, I’ve got outstanding power bills older than that.. Move on, be happy.
Free_spirit1022 − My piece of advice is do not give up on the last time you have for a social life at home, over a guy you were with for 7 months. You only have a short time there left, make the best of it! I swear when you look back on this time after you’ve been in a really long term relationship,
those 7 months will not mean near as much as the 3.5 that you get to choose to make the best of. Take advantage of this time before you have to join the workforce, I just graduated myself and wish that i had some time off to enjoy just being 23 before having to jump right into my career.
Ihaveasmallbatman − I’m sorry but he doesn’t sound wrong either. He’s a 30 year old man who has worked hard to be in the position that he is right now. He can’t just up and leave his life for a 7 month relationship. You’re not wrong either. You guys just met at the wrong time.
scmariner89 − You did the right thing, always put yourself first.Congrats! You’re only 22, it will all work out
Sandmint − Congratulations on your new job!!!
[Reddit User] − I remember back when I was dating and that fear of seeing a recent ex, and not going out. Looking back, I say the heck with that. Face the fear, tear off the bandaid, whatever cliche you want (but they’re true). You’re going to meet lots more people and date more and like you said, the split was amicable so just consider that an enjoyable chapter in your life.
It’s all easier said than done but I look back on decisions I made out of fear of being hurt as just a waste of time. I think the hurt intensifies if we hide from it.
Would you have made the same choice in her position? How do you handle the balance between career aspirations and personal relationships? Share your insights and advice below!