UPDATE: How do I (31F) handle my awful SIL (33F) at my boyfriend’s (30M) family Christmas?

A woman (31F) shared her concerns about her difficult sister-in-law (33F), Kelly, at her boyfriend’s (30M) family Christmas gathering. Kelly made several awkward and inappropriate comments, including making jokes about pregnancy and sexual innuendo. Armed with advice from Reddit, the woman responded with humor and ignored Kelly’s more uncomfortable remarks. Despite the awkwardness, the holiday turned out to be enjoyable. Read the full update below.

‘ UPDATE: How do I (31F) handle my awful SIL (33F) at my boyfriend’s (30M) family Christmas?’

Thank you to everyone who commented. This is a rather anticlimactic update. Christmas was actually lovely. Kelly behaved for the most part, though of course made a few left field comments. Using MIL and FIL for simplicity but my boyfriend and I are not married..

Here are some examples: – MIL opened a gift, it was a turkey baster. Kelly exclaimes “Whoa, FIL! Trying to get her pregnant again?” MIL and FIL are in their 70s.

Awkward pause.

Turns to me and James and goes “Actually, I’m surprised it’s not you.” And on recommendations from Reddit I laughingly responded “What an uncomfortable thing to say.”

Kelly went on about how she expected after we took a two week vacation, we would be sharing a pregnancy announcement. I responded “Well, that’s kind of weird.”

– I got James a gag gift that says some s**ual innuendo on the b**t of a pair of pants. Kelly kept making comments about, “No one needs to know the details of your s** life.” Despite that the pants were a joke. This was repeated all night but I just ignored it.

Otherwise we had a great time and a great family gathering.

I wish I had something more exciting but the answered I got helped me have a few responses in my arsenal to respond to her weird comments and otherwise I ignored her..

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

pied_goose −  “‘No one needs to know the details of your s** life’ but I am going to loudly speculate about how much of it you had during a trip anyway.”. Right.

AllTheColors8762 −  It’s sounds like you have a better outlook on the situation, that’s good at least.  Those ‘why did you say that’ and ‘please explain your r**ist/sexist/ etc comment’ phrases on work on people who have social awareness. 

McflyThrowaway01 −  Now that the holidays are over it may be time for your BF to tell his brother about the BS she said to him and to let him know if she talks like that to him or you in the future she won’t get a damn thing.

potenttechnicality −  Joke gifts based on s**ual innuendo in this environment doesn’t seem like a wise choice.

Zoe2805 −  I think you made the best out of the situation over the holidays. This needs to be properly addressed with Mike though. “We(or I if it’s only from your bf) love you dearly and want the best for you. I didn’t really want to bring it up, but SIL comments are getting out of hand. I’m not sure if you told her.

the money I gave you before Christmas was supposed to make Christmas easier for all of us. She kept begging and insulting us, guilting us into spending even more than the budget we set on top of that we gave you already. Overspending a little is not the problem, but her attitude towards it is.

We don’t appreciate the snide remarks and hurtful comments. Maybe she’s jealous of our life, we understand it’s hard for you guys. But we didn’t deserve to be treated badly just because we don’t struggle.

Please have a proper conversation with her about how she talks to and about us. Next year, if she insists on only wanting stuff outside of the budget, we will opt to not give a gift at all. We hope you understand where we are coming from, it’s just getting too much”. Something like that.

SquidgeSquadge −  I would have acted like I didn’t know what a potato was and ask her to explain in excruciating detail what she meant with her comments, like you have no clue. What has a baby got to do with turkey? Do you eat babies? How would you fit a baby in that?

ScaryButterscotch474 −  Is it wrong that I snorted when you wrote that she asked your 70 yo FIL whether he was turkey basting his wife pregnant??? 💀

Gorgo_xx −  So… it’s ok for you to make s**ual innuendo jokes, but it’s weird and uncomfortable for your SIL?. Ok then.

CookbooksRUs −  So she talked about your s** life but you can’t give him a present with s**ual innuendo on it?

Lov3I5Treacherous −  You all s**k. Nobody holds her accountable, of course she’s going to say dumb s**t. She’s a dumb person.

Handling awkward family dynamics can be tough, especially with difficult comments during holidays. The woman in this story navigated the situation with humor and grace. Have you ever had to deal with a challenging family member during the holidays? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts below!