UPDATE: Future MIL (54F) called me (23F) stupid and now I’m considering calling off the wedding. How do I approach the situation?

There’s something undeniably empowering about standing your ground, especially when you’ve been pushed one step too far. Imagine discovering the very people who claim to love you are mocking your curiosity and intelligence behind your back. That’s the jarring situation our main character faced—only to learn, heartbreakingly, that her fiancé was in on the jokes.

Filled with questions as varied as “How does the sun work?” and “Where do I put my fork?”, she never imagined that sincere curiosity could draw such ridicule. Ultimately, she decided she deserved better than being the punch line in someone else’s mean-spirited comedy routine. Now, in the aftermath of a broken engagement, she’s picking up the pieces and encouraging others to stay true to themselves—no matter how harshly the world judges their inquisitiveness.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/zMOae

‘ UPDATE: Future MIL (54F) called me (23F) stupid and now I’m considering calling off the wedding. How do I approach the situation?’

I know I deserve better. I can’t be with someone who can’t stand up for me, and I wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable around his family, so I’m done with the relationship. I hope they will treat his next girlfriend better. Thank you again reddit for advice!

Walking away from a long-term relationship takes courage—especially when family dynamics are involved. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a clinical psychologist and author of The Dance of Connection, points out that strong relationships rely on emotional safety. The moment we realize our partner publicly disrespects or mocks us, that bedrock of safety fractures.

In this story, the bride-to-be discovered hurtful gossip that exposed not only her future mother-in-law’s cruelty, but also her fiancé’s failure to shield her. According to Dr. Lerner, “When trust is broken within a couple, it’s not always the content of the betrayal that matters as much as the lack of protection and empathy.” A fiancé is often expected to defend or at least empathize with a partner who’s being ridiculed. Here, that defense was notably absent until it was nearly too late.

Another important consideration is how we handle conflict. People sometimes resort to “It’s just a joke” to downplay cruelty. However, Dr. Lerner warns that “dismissing genuine hurt under the guise of humor often perpetuates the cycle of belittlement.” Such remarks can be especially damaging if repeated or endorsed by multiple family members, adding peer pressure to the emotional burden.

Ultimately, leaving a relationship that’s been your entire adult life isn’t easy. Yet this woman recognized that years of shared memories don’t compensate for a lack of respect. Dr. Lerner calls this phenomenon “choosing yourself”—the act of placing your well-being and dignity over social niceties or deeply ingrained bonds. People in toxic family environments sometimes dismiss or minimize remarks as mere teasing. But consistent ridicule tarnishes self-esteem and can lead to chronic unhappiness.

In the end, the ability to walk away signifies self-respect. It communicates a firm boundary: a partnership should be a source of support, not a stage for humiliation. And while it’s never simple to part ways, stepping out of a harmful environment often opens the door to new circles of friends who value and even celebrate your inquisitiveness.

 

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Here’s the original account of how everything unfolded, straight from the Reddit forum:

No one should feel belittled for being curious about the world. When a loved one laughs at your questions instead of answering them, it’s time to reevaluate whether that environment truly nourishes your growth. What would you do if you discovered your partner and future in-laws mocking you? Let’s keep the conversation going!