Update from original post of my bf (24M) not wanting me (22F) to take antidepressants.

A year ago, a young woman shared her struggle with her boyfriend’s opposition to her taking antidepressants. After careful consideration, therapy, and ultimately starting medication, her mental health drastically improved. Recently, she made the tough decision to end the relationship and embrace a fresh start with a new job. Read her inspiring update below.

‘ Update from original post of my bf (24M) not wanting me (22F) to take antidepressants.’

It’s been a year, “Eli” and I are both a year older now than before, imagine that. I began taking my antidepressants a few months after the original post was made. I went through more therapy to be absolutely certain that I needed the medication

My therapist used the same multiple choice test on my feelings and symptoms twice (pre-test and post-test) to determine that nothing had changed/gotten better really over the course of 3 months or so. I began taking 10mg a day of an antidepressant and sensed a change fairly quickly. It took 3-4 weeks to fully kick in, but I think I started feeling it around 2 weeks.

I am so much happier than before and I do not think about my life ending 3-5 times a week anymore. Now that I write that, I rarely think about it at all now. The things that used to seem like mountains are now just little mole hills. I cannot fully express how I wish I would have considered taking medication earlier. I feel like I wasted years of my life being so disgustingly unhappy.

Just earlier this week I broke up with Eli because I will be moving away for a job and I was no longer happy with the way the relationship was going. I still care about him immensely, and because I care about him so much I knew it was best to cut things off if I could not see the relationship progressing further after 3 years of dating. I’m super excited to start a new chapter in my life!.

**TLDR: Took meds, broke up with boyfriend. Feeling insanely better! 🙂 Thanks so much to all who originally commented and gave me advice! Or tough love!**. ​. 

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

[Reddit User] −  Hey I’m so glad for you. Congratulations on your new chapter and I wish you all the very best. Lots of luck on your journey. I just love it when people check in with a happy update. Thanks for coming back!!

SurreptitiousMusings −  Congratulations on really taking control of your life! I wish I would have started antidepressants much sooner than I did. I feel like I could have spent so much less time unhappy and not moving forward.

FermentedThings −  I really wonder what was going on with your boyfriend and the many depressed women in his life. I wonder if the relationship with his mom was really codependent when she was depressed, and when she got better she put up healthier boundaries and he felt deserted because he wasn’t used to that.

Maybe that’s why he dated two clinically depressed women and disapproved of them being treated. Not saying I don’t empathize – it’s hard when a fundamental relationship like that changes, but it sounds like he needs some serious therapy himself.

[Reddit User] −  I really needed to see this post. I need to get back on my antidepressants and my husband does not want me to. I’ve been off them the eight months I’ve been pregnant and have watched myself deteriorate. I can no longer take care of myself. That’s how bad it’s gotten. I won’t.

I need to get back on meds and he just wants to find “another way.” I’ve decided not to listen to him for the rest of the day. He can talk about vegus nerve stimulation all he wants. I know what works for me and I’m gonna see a doctor. Thank you for your update. I’m so glad you’re doing better.

LaKulpa −  Awesome update, congratulations!!! I’m curious what Eli’s reaction was when you actually started taking them. Did he get pissed at first and eventually see how positive it was for you, or did he continue giving you s**t for it?

[Reddit User] −  Awesome update!!! I’m SO happy you are taking the antidepressants. There is a horrible uneducated stigma related to these meds. I took them for Bipolar, BPD, and PTSD. Life changing. Seriously, I get what you’re saying that it started almost immediately. It does. It happens seriously fast.

I never knew I wasn’t like everyone else until I was diagnosed. When I first took the pills and started to immediately notice the difference I cried. Not because I was sad but because I never knew I could ever not feel so bad all the time with my emotions changing daily/hourly.

I stopped being suicidal and always thinking of ways to kill myself. Every thing changed for the better. Good luck with your move. I think great things are coming your way and you deserve it!

Shelliton −  Nine years ago on Mother’s Day, I came back to the home I shared with my little brother. We’d had a fight that morning before I went to work and I got off early, so I went to his room to ask him if he wanted some of the food I was about to make, a sort of apology. He wasn’t home, his shotgun case was open on his bed, and his suicide note was on his desk.

Apparently, he had tried to kill himself with booze and pills, and had told an online friend (who lived two thousand miles away) that he thought he was going to die that day. When he stopped responding to messages, his friend managed to contact emergency services in our state.

When they found him, he was jaundiced, unconscious, and unresponsive. He lived. I picked him up from the hospital two weeks later (with a prescription for pills that he never filled) and we cried together and I told him that I was happy he was alive.

Over the next four years, there was one more attempt and a lot of threats of suicide. Felt like we were always walking on eggshells around him. He was part of the generation of kids who were overly diagnosed with ADHD and absolutely loathed having to take pills in general. But!

He found a freaking FANTASTIC therapist and paired with (the right!) pills and therapy, I can happily say that he’s living his best life. In fact, he’s on a backpacking trip now and the only time it occurred to me that there might be a suicide attempt was when I was typing this out and thinking “oh, man, we would have been almost sure he wouldn’t come back from that five years ago.”

I am glad that you (and my little brother) have taken control of your mental health. It is something that, far too often, is seen as a punchline. But it is so, so, so very important. You’ve got this, OP. And that means one less person is suffering. And maybe more who, after reading this, think “maybe, just maybe, the pills will help.”

amanda0369 −  Well there’s your answer. He knew if you felt better you’d d**p him.

[Reddit User] −  Hey OP. I relented for years and finally took them. Literally saved my life. The way I explain it is like if all your issues are ‘jagged’ anti-depressants just ’round’ or ‘smooth’ them off. They don’t go away, it just feels easier. Sounds like the relationship was possibly dragging you down too. Good luck.

[Reddit User] −  I’m so happy your life is going well!!

This story is a powerful reminder of the importance of prioritizing your mental health and making decisions that align with your personal growth. Have you ever had to make a tough choice for your well-being? How did it change your life? Share your thoughts!