UPDATE: AITAH for telling my husband’s affair baby’s family to either come get the kid or I’m calling CPS?

Widow’s Ultimatum: Adoption or CPS for Husband’s Affair Baby Sparks Family Fury
After her husband’s sudden death, a widow faces backlash for refusing to care for his affair child—a child she insists has no legal or emotional claim on her. This update to a viral saga reignites debates about familial duty, betrayal, and the messy legacy of infidelity.

First, please read original post: AITAH for telling my husband’s affair baby’s family to either come get the kid or I’m calling CPS?

‘ UPDATE: AITAH for telling my husband’s affair baby’s family to either come get the kid or I’m calling CPS?’

Expert Opinions:

Legal Obligations to Non-Biological Children:
Family law attorney Mark Sullivan (Forbes) clarifies: “Unless OP legally adopted the child, she has no obligation to care for it. However, the child may be entitled to a portion of Roger’s estate if paternity is proven. Courts often require DNA testing to establish inheritance rights.”

Dr. Rachel Thompson, a family dynamics expert, explains: “These situations reveal the intricate emotional landscapes families navigate after infidelity. The widow is not obligated to assume responsibility for a child resulting from her late husband’s affair, yet family pressures create significant emotional tension.”

Ethics of Posthumous Accountability:
Dr. Emily Carter, bioethicist (The Hastings Center), argues: “While OP isn’t morally obligated to raise the child, society often unfairly burdens women with ‘cleaning up’ men’s transgressions. The backlash she faces reflects entrenched gender biases in caregiving expectations.”

Psychological Impact on the Affair Baby:
Child psychologist Dr. Rachel Nguyen (APA) warns in Psychology Today: “Children abandoned by both biological parents face lifelong attachment issues. Adoption by a willing family—not forced custody—is critical for their emotional health.”

Legal expert Michael Rodriguez notes: “The most critical consideration is the child’s best interests. When biological parents are unavailable and extended family is reluctant, legal systems typically prioritize stable, permanent placement through adoption or kinship care.”

Solutions from Experts:

• Legal Safeguards: Sullivan advises OP to petition the court for a paternity test before any estate funds are allocated to the child.
• Family Mediation: Dr. Nguyen recommends OP’s children attend therapy to process their conflicted loyalties without projecting guilt onto her.
• Advocacy for Adoption: Carter urges OP to connect the child’s grandparents with adoption agencies, shifting responsibility to the biological mother’s family.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Redditors overwhelmingly backed OP, praising her boundaries and condemning her children’s hypocrisy. Many echoed, “If family is so important, why won’t THEY adopt the baby?” Critics were rare but argued OP’s stance was “punishing an innocent child.” Most rebutted: “The child’s mother and grandparents are the true villains here.”

This update forces us to confront uncomfortable truths: Can we demand compassion from those wronged by betrayal? Or does survival sometimes require cold pragmatism?

While OP’s refusal to mother her husband’s affair baby is legally sound, the moral calculus remains divisive. Is she protecting her peace or perpetuating a cycle of abandonment? Share your perspective below.