UPDATE. Dad (62m)won’t spend Christmas with BIL (28m) and mum (60f) is blaming my wife (36f)?
The situation has continued to escalate after the original family conflict, with a series of dramatic events leading to a shift in family dynamics. The grandparents, usually neutral, decided to visit another relative instead of spending Christmas with the mother due to Steve’s behavior.
The situation worsened when Steve and Sarah demanded a public apology from Kay. However, a pivotal moment came when the husband’s young son, Jack, made a comment about Steve being a “bad man,” which helped open his mother’s eyes to Steve’s toxic behavior.
This led to a significant rift with Sarah, who responded with homophobic slurs, ultimately causing the family to distance themselves from her and Steve. Despite the ongoing drama, the family has decided to spend Christmas without Steve, and the husband is focusing on the positive aspects of the holiday with his wife and child.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/bFBxj
‘ UPDATE. Dad (62m)won’t spend Christmas with BIL (28m) and mum (60f) is blaming my wife (36f)?’
After my original post, things have started to shift, though not without more drama. First, my grandparents (who are usually peacekeepers) decided not to spend Christmas with my mum this year and opted to visit my Uncle instead.
They also made it clear they didn’t want to be around Steve because of the drama he causes. They even asked if they could visit us before heading to my uncle’s, which completely surprised my mum—especially since they’re usually the type to avoid conflict.
Then, my dad called to tell me that Steve and Sarah now want Kay to make a public apology and admit she was lying about everything, including the family’s feelings toward Steve. My dad found it laughable and said no apology would be happening.
In the meantime, I realized that Steve has been deliberately trying to drive a wedge between Kay, me, and the family, even arranging trips that he knew we’d be excluded from. It seems to stem from jealousy of the close relationship Kay has with my dad, especially with all the trips they take together.
The next significant moment came at the Christmas fair. We went with my parents, grandad, and Kay’s mum, and my mum agreed that if Steve or Sarah showed up, we’d leave. During the fair, Jack made a comment that really hit my mum hard.
He said Uncle Steve was a “bad man” because he always says mean things. This comment from a 4-year-old opened my mum’s eyes. She confessed she had been stuck between her love for Sarah and her feelings about Steve, but after hearing Jack, she realized she couldn’t keep tolerating Steve’s behavior.
After talking with Kay’s mum, my mum decided to spend Christmas with us at Kay’s mum’s house instead of with Sarah and Steve. Sarah was furious when she found out and accused my mum of choosing us over her, which led to Sarah’s homophobic slurs towards me, Kay, and Jack.
After that, I blocked her on all platforms, and the family is equally appalled by her behavior. My grandmother even called Sarah and told her she was “dead” to her for using such hateful language.
Steve reached out to my dad, trying to downplay Sarah’s actions, but my dad gave him a harsh verbal lashing. He told Steve he was the worst thing to ever happen to Sarah and that he would support her if she left him, but until then, he was done.
Kay has been a rock throughout this, but I can tell she’s hurt by Sarah’s words towards Jack. This situation has left me feeling drained, and while it’s nice to know where I stand with my sister, it’s sad that it’s come to this. However, we’ll finally have a peaceful Christmas without worrying about Steve ruining things.
Thanks to everyone for your support and advice. I’m trying to focus on the positive—Kay and Jack’s goofy antics—and trying to get into the Christmas spirit despite everything. Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season!
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Flibertygibbert − May small children playing recorders with more enthusiasm that skill follow Steve everywhere.
cassowary32 − Sarah wasn’t a good person because she let Steve terrorize every gathering without intervening. She was okay with how he treated your family. Did she ever apologize for his behavior?
Steve and Sarah are two terrible people, she just let Steve do the dirty work for her until there were consequences and she couldn’t hide behind him anymore. I’m glad your family is rallying around you. It’s also funny that Steve and Sarah threatened not to come without an apology. Classic don’t threaten me with a good time.
Plus_Data_1099 − I am sure Sarah has known all along what a ao Steve is but she’s too deep into him hopefully this will give her enough doubt to leave that dirtbag
Sea-Command3437 − Jack is a hero – he got through to your mum! Surely this is worth a little off-key recorderage? I hope you and Kay and nice family members have a wonderful Christmas.
VictoryShaft − Updateme. I don’t think the dickish BIL and Sarah saga had concluded. I’m glad you’ll have a peaceful Christmas in theory. I just think the pair of them are not convinced yet that they’re shut out.
FairyCompetent − I encouraged my child to have any and all musical instruments- violin, guitar, harmonica, drum set, cow bell, slide whistle- I drew the line at recorder. It’s an instrument of torture, I cannot be convinced otherwise.
Beautiful-Elephant34 − Honestly, Kay sounds like the hero that saved Christmas. Steve was hurting the whole family and nothing was being done about it until Kay said something. Now Sarah gets to live with the consequences of her actions/inactions.
Let the two miserable people be miserable together rather than make everyone else miserable as well. It’s unfortunate, but it is Sarah’s choice. She is an adult with agency and is capable of making her own bed, now she can lay in it.
New-Comment2668 − Going to have to agree with you on the recorder issue. Whoever invented those is a horrible, horrible person. So glad that your Mom’s eyes have finally been opened to what a s**t person your sister married. I hope you have a very merry, peaceful Christmas!
AffectionateBite3827 − The third thing that happened was Jack getting home from after school club with a recorder that I am sorely tempted to shove up the teachers backside
Congratulations on this thrilling parenting milestone!
BisquickNinja − FYI
Despite the tensions and hurtful remarks, it seems that the family is finding peace and support with each other. How would you cope with a similar situation where family loyalty and personal boundaries are tested? Share your thoughts on navigating family conflicts and protecting your loved ones while striving for harmony.