[UPDATE] Am I (30f) overreacting to my husband’s (34m) words?

A Reddit user revisits her past post, sharing how she finally escaped an abusive marriage after years of emotional manipulation and, eventually, physical violence. Reflecting on her journey, she emphasizes the importance of recognizing abuse and taking action to protect oneself and loved ones. Read her powerful update below.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/glmuP

‘ [UPDATE] Am I (30f) overreacting to my husband’s (34m) words?’

I just wanted to come back and update and say, all of you were right. I should have left that night. Not too long after posting that, the emotional abuse finally turned physical. I was held hostage in my home for over an hour while I was assaulted, demeaned, and scared for my life. I left that night.

It was a hard road. I’ve questioned myself, my sanity, and sometimes even whether I did the right thing. Emotional abuse took a huge toll on my psyche and self-worth. I am happy to say, though, that life has drastically improved for the better.

I bought a new home for my kids and I. We’ve got a sweet dog and two precious kitties. My son just started 2nd grade and really enjoyed his first day. Everything is falling into place. I feel horrible for what I put them through, and I know there will probably be rough patches ahead, but we are infinitely better off than where we were.

If you read my original post and it resonates for you, please take the advice of the commenters. Get. Out. Leave. No one deserves that sort of treatment, and it’s only going to get worse.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Utrechtonmymind −  No OP, life has not magically “improved for the better”…. You MADE it better.

[Reddit User] −  Sooooo glad things have worked out so well for you! It’s so hard to leave, but absolutely worth it in the end!

Grand_Imperator −  These updates are so helpful, and you do a service to others reading here but in doubt about the subreddit’s fairly regular advice to get out. I’m so happy for you and your family. You should be proud of yourself, and I hope you are truly happy or on the path to be there. It might sound odd to hear, but congratulations.

jyssrocks −  Congratulations for leaving and being in a much better place! You’re definitely doing the right thing for your kids. Was your husband arrested or does he get visitation? Is he your ex-husband yet?

[Reddit User] −  Now this is the kind of update that I love to read. You’re a strong woman for leaving when you did, and your children are in a safe place with you away from the abuse and hurtful words.

They’ll look up to you and see how brave you were to get yourself and them out of a dangerous situation like that. What I’m trying to say is, I’m glad you and your kids have made it this far. You go, girl! 🙂

TheConeOfShame805 −  I’m so happy and proud for you. How cool to hear about your new life for you and your son.

[Reddit User] −  I am so glad to read this. Are you and your kids in therapy? It could be a good idea, even if your kids seem fine. My father was emotionally a**sive, and it resonated much further into the future than I ever thought it would.

I was really good it seeming fine when I was little, and I actually even fold a therapist. I’m not saying your kids are not OK, I’m just saying it could be a good idea try to get them into therapy.

maddsskills −  I am so happy for you! I was in a similar situation when I was younger and it was so hard to see what was really going on from the inside. Sharing experiences like these should help younger people realize when their relationships are becoming a**sive.

kajsfjzkk −  The book *Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men* by Lundy Bancroft is frequently recommended here. (You can find PDFs online.)

The author has decades of experience as a counselor in domestic abuse, and the book dispels common misconceptions and explains what abuse is, how abuse tends to progress, and the common thread explaining why abusers do what they do (short answer: a sense of entitlement).

_creeeep −  I’m glad you got out OP. Your (ex) husband was abusing you, your children and g**lighting as a means to justify his behavior.
There is NO excuse for abuse and please do NOT blame yourself for not leaving sooner.

It is very difficult to leave that type of relationship, this is coming from someone who lived through something very similar. Happy healing to you and your family. I’m glad you all are safe ❤

This update is a testament to resilience and the courage it takes to break free from abuse. If you or someone you know is in a similar situation, remember that help is available, and a better life is possible. What are your thoughts on recognizing the signs of emotional abuse and finding the strength to leave? Share your insights below!