UPDATE – AITAH for telling my girlfriend I can’t trust her anymore when it comes to her wanting a baby?
A Redditor shares an update on their complicated and emotionally charged situation involving their girlfriend’s unorthodox and dangerous attempt to induce a miscarriage. Her shocking reasoning for her actions—seeking attention from her family—has left OP questioning the future of their relationship. Where does their relationship stand now? Read the full story below.
Part 1: https://aita.pics/FjkaV
Final Part: https://aita.pics/kGQCI
‘ UPDATE – AITAH for telling my girlfriend I can’t trust her anymore when it comes to her wanting a baby?’
Firstly, for some context, we have a planned parenthood that specializes in abortions like 5 minutes away. I understand people thinking she didn’t want to get an a**rtion because of protesters. I completely understand. I drive by that specific place every single day for work. I have seen no protesters.
It’s usually empty besides a few cars on the side of the side of the road. But, I still understand why she wouldn’t want a medical a**rtion from reading the comments. I asked her why, what was her goal here. She was trying really hard to avoid the conversation and left the room but (I apologize if this makes me an a**hole) but I told her if we can’t have a conversation about this I have to end the relationship.
She came back in and said the reason why she did this was because she never felt like her family gave her enough attention in life, and didn’t feel supported by them so she wanted to tell them she had a miscarriage so they can feel bad for her.
I was confused because she could’ve just gotten a medical a**rtion and lied about it instead of just harming her body with a toxic herb. I asked her about that, and she told me she wanted to have the experience of having an actual miscarriage.
I was so confused and in shock so I didn’t say much else because all of this just sounded crazy to me. She told me she didn’t want me mad at her and she doesn’t want to break up and she was literally begging me to not break up with her.
I asked her, is there any chance the baby wouldn’t have been mine? She said no. I told her she needs to get therapy ASAP. I thankfully make enough to afford therapy and I told her I will pay for her if she just please go to therapy. She agreed.
I also told her she needs to go to the hospital and I was telling her all of your comments about the septic that can happen and liver and kidney damage and that kinda scared her into going to the hospital to get checked out.
We went to the hospital last night and thankfully she is ok. Apparently she drank around 1 cup of it a day for a few days. I found out she was also taking some other things (high dose of vitamin c, turmeric, parsley). That’s pretty much it for now, but I’m not too sure where to go from here. I love her and I do want to be with her but all of this is so out of the blue. Thanks for all of the comments on the last post. If anything else happens I’ll make another update.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
unknownfena − Someone wants to experience miscarriage?? What the hell i’m reading??
GarlicAndSapphire − “the experience of having an actual miscarriage”???? What dafuq did I just read? Dude. Nope. No. Oh my. No.
Gonebabythoughts − She has serious mental health issues. Do not reproduce with this person.
haddierunner − I…..have no words for this. As someone who WANTED a baby and unfortunately had a few losses in different ways, this is just off the rails insane. Absolutely insane. If you’re able to move past this, more power to you. I would never be able to not question her again; not just about kids, but literally everything.
ThrowAwayUser06 − She sounds like she has some serious mental health issues like others have said. If you choose to stay then I would be cautious moving forward having kids with her. She’s willing to cause herself self-harm for the sake of attention.
There is no telling what she would do if you guys have already had the child. I’ve seen mothers fake there child’s illness for attention before. She comes off as deeply troubled and m**ipulative. I don’t think she wants to hurt anyone out of malice but it’s still very concerning. If you stay, therapy is a must.
Kiefy-McReefer − Dude. Very pro a**rtion here – but y’all agreed to have a baby and she terminated it for sympathy and attention and repeatedly lied about it. How close is that to Munchausen? If you have a child with this l**atic what’s it gonna take for her to poison her child to get more sympathy? A pin drop?
What about a dead husband? That gets a lot of sympathy and attention. She does need therapy, she also needs consequences, and under no circumstances should you reproduce with this person. It would be deeply irresponsible, and quite frankly dangerous.
evil-mouse − My man, are **YOU** Okay?? This was your child too. And you don’t seen to react to the fact that she did this to your child. You need to in touch with a grief counselor. For yourself. Yes you have been reacting to the situation, but not to the lose of your child yet. If that grief is not handled correctly it will come at you like a bat out of hell.
You will be hit with the feeling of lose all of a sudden. She needs help, because what she did was unhinged, but you can’t be there for her if you yourself break down completely, and that is where you are heading if you don’t allow yourself to grief.
Stay with her or break up, that is a decision you need to make yourself, but you have to be in the right state of mind to do that. She is getting the help she needs, now it is time for you to get the help you need.
Careful-Bumblebee-10 − She came back in and said the reason why she did this was because she never felt like her family gave her enough attention in life, and didn’t feel supported by them so she wanted to tell them she had a miscarriage so they can feel bad for her.. Yikes.
I asked her about that, and she told me she wanted to have the experience of having an actual miscarriage.. Holy F**K YIKES. There’s something drastically wrong with your girlfriend. This is beyond reasonable, normal, or acceptable. She needs help NOW and you need to decide if you want to continue this relationship. This is a whole other level of disturbing.
Front_Quantity7001 − RUN!! RUN!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
WiseConsequence4005 − YTA if you stay, especially if you try for kids again. She did a**rtion for ATTENTION.
Do you think OP should continue working on the relationship given the girlfriend’s agreement to seek therapy and medical help? Or do her actions signal deeper issues that may be difficult to overcome? What would you do in OP’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!