Update: AITAH for refusing to make my boyfriend dinner?

A Redditor shared an update after asking if they were in the wrong for refusing to make their boyfriend dinner due to feeling overwhelmed by unequal responsibilities. After reflecting on advice and taking action, they made a decision that would change their life. Read the update below.

‘ Update: AITAH for refusing to make my boyfriend dinner?’

Hey everyone, I wanted to give you an update after reading all the comments (thank you to everyone who gave advice, even the tough love). After reading all your comments and really thinking about it, I decided I needed to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about how I’ve been feeling.

I told him I was o**rwhelmed from doing almost all the cooking and housework on top of my freelance work, and that it wasn’t fair for me to carry the bulk of everything just because I work from home.

He didn’t take it well. He got defensive and said things like, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” and, “I work harder, so it makes sense you’d handle the rest.” That really hurt because it made me realize he doesn’t respect the work I do, whether it’s my job or taking care of our apartment.

I tried explaining that I didn’t mind helping more but that I wasn’t willing to keep doing everything. Instead of meeting me halfway, he doubled down, saying he shouldn’t have to change anything because he’s the one who “pays more of the bills.” That was the final straw for me.

I realized I deserve a partner who sees us as equals and who’s willing to put in the effort to make things fair. So, I ended things. It’s been hard because two years is a long time, but I already feel lighter knowing I’m no longer stuck in a relationship where my contributions aren’t valued. Thank you to everyone who gave me the push I needed to stand up for myself. I’m sad, but I know this was the right choice for me.

Check out how the community responded:

ScowlyBrowSpinster −  Cheers, darling. You are no one’s servant. Live your best life. He will be missing you more than you miss him.

beek_r −  It was the right choice, and better to be sad for awhile than to spend any more time with a partner who doesn’t value what you do. Good luck, and it will get better.

taorthoaita −  Dude played himself. He has to make his own dinner now 💀 Good job, OP. NTA.

Vulcan_Fox_2834 −  Congratulations on putting you first, I know it’s going to hurt now,but in the long run, you will thank yourself. P.S I like drama (hence I use reddit), soooo how did he take it? Did he cry, beg or plead??

System_Resident −  Good on you for standing up for yourself! Never let someone treat you that way again

Bonnm42 −  You made the right choice. You want a partner, not a child.

Dry-Leg8804 −  Good for you OP! This manchild does not deserve another second of your love. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but you are doing the right thing standing up for yourself and knowing your self worth. You go girl!

Wholfgar −  Good for you. My GF and I have a setup that works for us. She does all the cooking. I do every dish (no dishwasher), take out the trash and pay for about 70% of the bills, do most of the laundry and we split cleaning. It works great for us cause she likes cooking but hates dishes.

She says she feels like I do too much but I absolutely hate cooking so for me it feels balanced. It just takes communication to figure out the best way to handle things so everyone is happy, feels appreciated and fulfilled.

grayblue_grrl −  Women make men’s lives easier.. Men make women’s lives harder.. Find one that doesn’t.

banethenightmare −  Sorry that this happened but you no longer have a sucking void of a man that doesn’t contribute to the chores of a normal household. That’s a win. Be thankful he showed you his true mindset before you got married or had kids. Think of how the entire burden of childcare would have been squarely on you. Enjoy your single life 🙂

What do you think about her decision? Was breaking up the best choice, or could this have been resolved another way? Have you ever faced a similar situation in a relationship? Share your perspective below!