(Update) AITAH for refusing to continue providing free childcare for my stepdaughter?

Family expectations can be complicated, especially when generosity is met with entitlement. One Redditor faced this dilemma after offering free childcare for her stepdaughter’s baby, only to be accused of neglect for not adhering to an unreasonable list of demands. Now, after experiencing the high costs of daycare, her stepdaughter and boyfriend want OP to step back in—but she isn’t sure she wants to.

OP had always helped with her grandchildren and initially cared for her stepdaughter Amanda’s baby, Cullen. However, Amanda and her boyfriend imposed strict rules, from pet restrictions to controlling meal preparation. Though OP made it clear these conditions didn’t work for her, she still babysat. Instead of gratitude, Amanda’s boyfriend continued making rude comments and even posted online about OP’s “neglectful” care.

‘(Update) AITAH for refusing to continue providing free childcare for my stepdaughter?’

Expert Analysis:

Understanding the Conflict:

Family therapist Dr. Susan Whitmore explains, “Offering help is a personal choice, but when gratitude is replaced with entitlement, resentment builds. It’s important to set clear boundaries before resentment turns into a toxic relationship.”

OP’s case is a perfect example of how giving too much can sometimes lead to being taken for granted.

Legal and Ethical Considerations:

According to legal expert Mark Rosenfeld, accusations of neglect, even if vague or indirect, can have serious consequences. “If someone makes public claims about neglect, they could damage reputations or even lead to investigations,” he warns.

OP is well within her rights to refuse further involvement, especially given the prior accusations.

Potential Solutions and Takeaways:

OP has no obligation to reopen the door to childcare after being treated unfairly.
If Amanda and her boyfriend truly regret their actions, they should offer a sincere, public apology before expecting any help.
Setting clear boundaries moving forward is essential to avoid another cycle of entitlement and mistreatment.

Here’s what Redditors had to say about the situation:

The vast majority of commenters supported OP’s decision to stand firm. Many pointed out the hypocrisy of Amanda’s boyfriend, who publicly accused OP of neglect yet expected her to take Cullen back when it was convenient.