Update – AITAH for not letting my daughter be around her mother?

A Redditor shares an update on the situation with their daughter and her estranged mother, Ellie. After arranging a meeting between the two, Ellie expressed interest in a regular visitation schedule.

However, Ellie then requested child support for the time spent with the daughter, which the Redditor rejected, pointing out that they have full custody and would not pay her to “babysit” her own child. Ellie, seemingly struggling with money issues, became angry and blocked the Redditor.

The Redditor has since told their daughter that Ellie is “busy” and has decided that Ellie will not be allowed to contact their daughter until she is an adult and can make her own decisions. Read the full update below to see the progression of the situation.

‘ Update – AITAH for not letting my daughter be around her mother?’

I thought I’d give an update. I decided to talk to my daughter and ask what she thought about meeting Ellie. She said she’d like to meet her, so we arranged to meet at a restaurant. Ellie was cordial and asked my daughter about her favorite things to do, school, and her friends.

My daughter even asked Ellie if she has any other kids, and Ellie replied, “Yes, sweetie! You have two half-brothers.” After our meeting, Ellie texted me to say thanks and asked if she could start seeing my daughter on a set schedule. I told her I wanted to take things slowly.

Then she said, “Before we set anything up, maybe we should discuss child support for the time she’ll be with me.” I thought she was joking. I replied, “I have full custody. I’m not paying you to visit your own child!” She got angry, saying, “You’re still the same s**fish j**k as before!

I have two other kids and am raising them alone! Now I finally connect with my daughter, and you’re being a deadbeat.” At first, I thought it was a prank, but it turns out she has serious money problems.

It seems she was hoping to get shared custody so I’d start paying her, essentially to babysit her own daughter. I told her if that was her plan, she wouldn’t get a dime from me. She kept insulting me and eventually blocked me.

Since then, my daughter has asked several times what happened to Ellie. I just told her that Ellie must be busy and that if she contacts me, I’ll let her know. Ellie is banned from ever contacting my daughter until she an adult and decide for herself

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

FaraSha_Au −  What a miserable excuse for a human being.

atmasabr −  Wow. Despite going against everyone’s advice (mine included), I think you did things the right way by seeking your daughter’s opinion and proceeding with caution.

Alas, motherhood has made Ellie regress. She has gotten *worse* at manipulation and plotting. Maybe she contracted the Terrible Twos from her children: “I wannit NOW!”

Crafty_Special_7052 −  Wow she’s crazy. Also, if she wanted shared custody she would need to go through the courts. At least now you know why she tried to get back in your life. She wanted to use you for money. Honestly she should be paying you child support.

SnooWords4839 −  Money, they only reason she wants to be a mother. What a cunt.

Nightwish1976 −  What a human excrement.

RedneckDebutante −  You’re going to need a licensed child therapist to help you explain this to Ellie. This is far to delicate to do alone.

GoddessfromCyprus −  If she wants ‘shared custody’ does she realise that she would, according to the way she’s thinking, have to pay you when you have your daughter and in that event, you cancel each other out?

Away-Understanding34 −  Ugh I am so sorry for you and your daughter. Elle is really s**tty for her ulterior motives and involving your poor daughter. I would be on alert though. I’m not sure she’s done trying to get money from you. 

Significant_Planter −  The irony that she tampered with condoms to get pregnant when she knew you didn’t want that, to try to force you into a relationship you didn’t want and she’s going to call you s**fish? LMAO

The whole reason you’re even in this conversation is because shes SO s**fish! Unreal! Keep your daughter away from her at all costs. You don’t want her to turn out like her egg donor. 

fetchinbobo66 −  Has she been paying you child support all of these years?

Do you think the Redditor handled the situation appropriately, or should they have given Ellie another chance to connect with her daughter? How would you approach a similar situation involving child custody and financial demands? Share your thoughts below!