Update: AITAH for not going back to my wife after she threatened to call the cops on me??

A Redditor shares a painful update about their decision to leave their wife after she threatened to call the police on them during an argument. Despite her apology, she doesn’t seem to understand the impact of her actions.

After leaving, the user found a sense of peace, with symptoms of an eating disorder and depression fading. With these signs, they have decided that divorce is the best path forward. Read their full story below to see if you think they made the right decision.

‘ Update: AITAH for not going back to my wife after she threatened to call the cops on me??’

I did talk to her on the phone and she can’t seem to comprehend why I was so upset that she threatened to call the cops on me. It was like she couldn’t wrap her head around the gravity of what she has done.

She did apologize but she still thinks I overreacted. As soon as I left, my eating disorder vanished. Then when I talked to her on the phone, the depression started settling again.

I have filed for divorce. I have no clue what the divorce will look like. But one thing I know is that I will never feel safe with my wife again, ever. Divorce is the right thing to do, for both of us.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

No-Personality5421 −  Don’t talk to her on the phone, or in person, without a lawyer present. Text her or email her that all communication must be through a lawyer going forward.

She was already ready to make up s**t to the cops about you, which means she was full or ready to *ruin* *your* *life*. Don’t give her the chance to make s**t up with no witnesses present to point out she’s full of s**t. 

Sensuous_Rica −  Basically, threatening to call the cops during an argument, especially when no one’s getting hurt or in actual danger, is a really bad move. It’s like using the police as a weapon, and it can have some seriously messed up consequences for the person on the receiving end of that threat.

WhatHappenedMonday −  NTA. Tell MIL that her daughter needs counseling and perhaps medical treatment for PPD and until that happens you are in danger from her. You might also express the child might be in danger also and try to get emergency custody for either yourself or your MIL.

Do not make any promises of reconciliation and NEVER be alone with your wife. I am sorry you are experiencing this OP. I am also sorry for your wife as she is obviously suffering some form of mental illness at the moment. However, you need to protect yourself first and foremost.

mustang19671967 −  See if the lawyer can file something with police as she keeps. Making threats etc

DetroitSmash-8701 −  NTA. Get therapy for yourself, do the work, and file for divorce. The fact is that disagreements happen, but when you can’t resolve them without getting law enforcement involved, you two don’t need to be together. If she was willing to lie to get you arrested and possibly killed, that’s reason enough to be gone.

The sad part is that this is as likely as good as it will get with her, and next time will be likely escalated because you’ve already shown you can leave so she’s likely to try and do something to ensure you can’t leave next time. Stay gone if you want to be free and alive.

LosAngel1935 −  NTA – if she called the cops and you were arrested, then later she decides to drop the charges or you’re found not guilty, you will still have a police record charged with DV.

And it will fellow you around forever. so, I agree divorce is the only option. I hope you get full custody of your daughter, till your soon to ne ex, gets help. she doesn’t sound as if she’s in a good place right now.

Fragrant-Reserve4832 −  What she did is the equivalent of a right hook.. There is no taking it back.

Equivalent-Bee6501 −  NTA. Get the help you need first. When you feel like yourself again, try to convience your ex wife to get the help she needs. You both need to get over this incident sooner or later to be able to co-parent your kid. It doesn’t ends at divorce when you share a kid, you need to be able to trust her as a parent at least.

Mickleblade −  Keep all texts, emails etc do not delete anything

Paula_Intermountain −  Good luck! I hope everything eventually turns out well. I wouldn’t feel safe around your wife, either. I hope a good co-parenting plan can be worked out. Please don’t abandon your daughter. She will always need you in her life.

Do you think the Redditor is making the right choice for his well-being, or could there be room for reconciliation? How would you handle a relationship where trust and safety feel compromised? Share your thoughts below!