UPDATE: AITAH for kicking out my dad after he said he “couldn’t afford to feed me anymore”?
Sometimes, cutting toxic ties brings unexpected relief. In this update, a 37M shares that his dad moved out today after a long struggle. Despite the heavy words exchanged—his dad declared, “You failed me as a son” and vowed never to contact him again—the process was surprisingly peaceful. While a part of him wished for a proper goodbye, he now feels a weight lifted off his shoulders, a freedom he hasn’t experienced even after leaving home years ago.
‘ UPDATE: AITAH for kicking out my dad after he said he “couldn’t afford to feed me anymore”? ‘
Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “Severing ties with a toxic family member, even a parent, can be incredibly painful, but it often leads to profound personal growth. When a person feels that longstanding disrespect and unmet expectations are finally acknowledged and acted upon, it can open the door to a much-needed sense of freedom and emotional healing.”
She continues, “Although it’s natural to desire closure, sometimes the act of separation itself—without the traditional goodbye—can be liberating, especially when it means no longer having to carry the burden of a toxic relationship.”
Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, adds, “Establishing firm boundaries is essential for long-term emotional well-being. While the process may be emotionally complex, removing yourself from an environment that consistently undermines your self-worth is a critical step in self-care. The absence of a formal farewell does not diminish the significance of reclaiming your space and peace of mind.”
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Several redditors expressed strong support for this decision. One user commented, “If your dad’s departure means you can finally breathe and move on, then you’re definitely not the asshole. Sometimes, no news is good news.”
Another commented, “Cutting off toxic family members is never easy, but sometimes it’s the only way to heal. You have every right to feel free and unburdened by his negativity.” Conversely, a few users suggested that a proper goodbye might have offered more closure. One redditor mentioned, “It might have helped to know where he was going, but if his leaving brings you relief, then that’s what matters most.”
Ultimately, your father’s quiet departure represents a significant turning point in your life. While you might have wished for a more formal goodbye, the fact that you now feel free from his toxic influence is a powerful step toward emotional healing. This update raises an important question: How do we find freedom and closure when severing ties with a toxic family member, even if the parting is less than ideal?
What would you do if a toxic family member left without a proper farewell—if that departure meant reclaiming your peace of mind? Share your thoughts and experiences below; your insights might help others navigate the bittersweet journey of letting go.