UPDATE AITAH for being disgusted and just saying OK when my Fiancé broke up with me?

In this update, our poster—who recently experienced a breakup with her fiancé, Alex—shares the stressful and disorienting aftermath. Although Alex moved out quickly and arranged his own logistics, he soon began harassing her. After spotting her while she was showing a friend around the city,Alex escalated from accusatory texts to desperate phone calls, and even showed up at a bar and her doorstep, pleading and crying.

Feeling disgusted and unsafe, she blocked his numbers and is now considering changing her own phone number and seeking legal advice if the harassment continues. In her own words, she wonders if her reaction—quietly saying “OK” to the breakup and then firmly shutting him out—is justified or if she might be the A-hole.. Read the full story below.

‘UPDATE AITAH for being disgusted and just saying OK when my Fiancé broke up with me?’

Expert Opinions:

The Psychology of Post-Breakup Harassment
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?, explains: “A partner’s refusal to accept a breakup often stems from entitlement and control. Harassment tactics like love-bombing or stalking are attempts to regain power, not expressions of love.” She emphasizes documenting incidents and seeking support.

Legal Recourse for Stalking Behavior
According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, 1 in 6 women experience stalking in their lifetime. Attorney Emily D. Baker advises, “Save all communications, file police reports, and consider a restraining order. Stalking laws vary, but early intervention is critical to prevent escalation.”

The Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health
A 2022 study in The Journal of Interpersonal Violence links post-breakup harassment to increased anxiety and PTSD symptoms. Therapist Dr. Thema Bryant notes, “Victims often blame themselves. OP’s refusal to engage is a healthy boundary—validating her disgust is essential to healing.”

Navigating Social Obligations Post-Breakup
Relationship coach Mark Groves stresses: “Helping a family friend’s son is not a moral failing. Alex’s accusations reflect his insecurity, not OP’s actions. Healthy partners respect boundaries, even after a split.”

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Summary: Reddit users overwhelmingly side with OP, praising her restraint and labeling Alex’s behavior as “unhinged.” Many share similar stories of exes weaponizing jealousy, while others caution OP to prioritize safety. A recurring debate: “Is ‘saying OK’ to a breakup cold, or a justified response to toxicity?”

This update brings to light the painful transition from a breakup to dealing with unwanted harassment. While it’s understandable to feel conflicted after a breakup, the poster’s choice to remain disengaged from Alex’s desperate pleas is both a matter of self-preservation and a firm stand on personal boundaries.

Experts agree that in such situations—especially when behavior escalates into stalking-like patterns—protecting oneself is paramount. The community largely supports her decision to block him and consider further measures if the harassment continues.

What do you think?
Have you ever had to take firm action against an ex’s unwanted advances? Do you believe that setting strict boundaries—even if it means cutting off communication entirely—is the right way to move on? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.