Update: AITA My husband was nicer to BFF than her own husband?

Not a happy update. The TLDR version is they are separating for unrelated reasons. First, please read my original post: https://aita.pics/slCMk

1) I apologize for screwing up the title last time. I was trying to be brief and wound up being wildly disappointing. My apologies. Hopefully this is more effective?
2) This update is shared with Kate and Tim’s permission. For reasons, Bert can go f**k himself.

‘ Update: AITA My husband was nicer to BFF than her own husband?’

Bert did email Tim this morning to apologize. Bert said he had forgotten I was out of town and he didn’t realize that Tim was dropping off the meal train food. It was a weird email for many reasons, but Tim responded politely if noncommittal. Tim hasn’t changed his view of Bert in part because of what happened between Bert and Kate this afternoon.

Bert also texted me to apologize, but I didn’t get his message until after I landed and by then everything else had happened. I’ve elected not to respond. Bert went home around noon after staying at a hotel last night. Kate’s sister had taken their daughter to the park so Bert and Kate could talk it out. Short version is that Bert has been avoiding Kate because she’s not happy during this pregnancy.

I mentioned in a comment that Kate had been married previously and shortly after her first husband died she had complications in a pregnancy that forced her on bedrest. Unfortunately, her son didn’t make it. Her current pregnancy is bringing up a lot of painful memories and she’s scared she won’t be able to make it to full term. So, yes. She’s not as cheery as she was when she was pregnant with their daughter. It’s a difficult time.

Bert is frustrated and angry that she’s not happy, so he’s been staying late and ignoring her until she stops doing that. I know that sounds horrid, but I think they could have worked through those feelings. But as he was explaining how he felt, he said she should be glad her son wasn’t there because otherwise she wouldn’t have this life at all.

Yeah. That still knocks the wind out of me it’s so cruel. She did talk to him about that statement, but the explanation doesn’t get better. In any event, for her that was just the end. She told him she was done, they can work out joint custody, but the marriage was over. She called her sister and she and her husband encouraged Bert to leave.

Currently, Kate’s not angry or sad or panicked. She’s just done. Personally, I’m surprised since they’ve weathered some fairly s**tty things including infidelity (by him). But I guess that was the line? In any event, her DnD friends are over there for Saturday games night and they are eating waffles (she thought it was important for the internet to know that waffles are appropriate separation food).

In terms of her well-being which many kind souls were worried about, they have a prenup. The house is hers, his family property is his. I’m sure there will be a fight over custody, but she will be financially okay. In any event, she has family and friends who will help and support regardless of what happens.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

bamatrek −  Wow, what a total shithead. I don’t think there’s anything else to say.

digitydigitydoo −  Of course he was previously unfaithful. Glad she’s kicked him to the curb. Sending good thoughts her way.

Junior_Arrival3962 −  Wow. This guy is just…wow. I have nothing nice to say. I’m glad she’s getting out though. Who throws their wife’s previous miscarriage in her face? Just, no.

thesermysisterspants −  Good. For. Her.

my2cents518 −  Oh man! It’s sad but at the same time liberating for Kate. Tonight, I’m gonna have a shot and toast up one of my son’s Eggo’s in honor of Kate and her angel baby. She’s got this! Sending all the positive vibes I can her way. And shout out to you and Tim for being such great friends. Kate is blessed to have so much love and support. Praying for her to have a smooth delivery with a healthy, happy baby. Everything else will work itself out one day at a time. To Kate! 🥃

chili3ne −  Bye bye Bert, you won’t be missed!

Bonnie332244 −  Wow…that’s a lot. Kate deserves all the waffles, support, and love right now. It sounds like she’s finally putting herself first, and that’s strength. 🧇❤️

MossGobbo −  I’m so glad she lost so much weight during her pregnancy in a healthy manner. (Joke about the stbex husband Bert, not her actual weight).

BeachinLife1 −  I knew when I read the first post that Bert was a c**ater. You just confirmed…anyone really think this guy is “working late?”

KlingonsAteMyCheese −  Bert was NEVER working late. He was cheating. At least now he can be with his mistress.