UPDATE: AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?

In a heartfelt update, a Redditor shared his decision to end his five-year relationship after a failed anniversary trip that he had carefully planned for his girlfriend, Sarah. The trip was meant to be a private celebration, but Sarah invited her friends, turning it into a group vacation without his knowledge.

The trip, combined with ongoing issues in the relationship, made the OP realize that Sarah consistently prioritized her friends over him. Despite her pleas to stay, he decided to walk away, return the engagement ring he had planned to propose with, and move on with his life. Invite people to read the original story below…

‘ UPDATE: AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?’

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who sent me kind words and encouraging private messages. I decided that I wanted to end this entire relationship. I packed my important belongings (Ex. Passport, clothes) and arranged with my best friend to crash at his apartment until I can find my own.

Usually when small issues happen in a relationship, it ties into a bigger issue of that relationship. The main reason why I decided to break up is because I realized that her friends will always be closer to her than me. Sarah has favored her friends over me and blown off some of our plans for her friends more than once.

I was lying to myself for years because I didn’t want to face reality yet. I had hoped she would change, but this trip really opened my eyes that I will always be in 3rd place to her.I expressed my feelings multiple times, and Sarah promised she would change, and she didn’t.

Sarah came home late yesterday. I said I have a lot to get off my chest and I want to get through my notes before she talks or tries to interrupt me. The first question I asked Sarah was “How she thought the trip went”. She said we all had fun and it was memorable. I shouldn’t have to feel like the 3rd wheel in my own relationship, especially on a trip that I planned.

My next question was “Why did you invite your friends in the first place? You knew this was an anniversary trip for US”. She talked about the trip with her friends since the beginning, and they never been to CO. She thought it would be a good idea to allow them to come just so they can have fun in CO with us.

I followed up with my lack of knowledge of her friends coming along until days before. It’s one thing if they came and did their OWN activities. But it’s another thing that every activity became a group activity. I signed up for a monogamous, not poly relationship.

My last question was “Did you know that I was going to propose to you?”. Sarah said she didn’t know at all. The thought never occurred to Sarah that I was going to ask. She claimed that she wouldn’t have invited her friends to come along if she knew, but I responded that “it would ruin the surprise if I told you”.

Sarah begged me to stay with her and believes we can work everything out. She didn’t want me to throw 5 years away after this one bad trip. I listened to her promises to change for years regarding her friends, but nothing happened. I ultimately left Sarah with this: it’s clear that there isn’t enough room in your heart for your BF and your friends.

As much as I love Sarah, I can’t stay in a relationship where I’m not respected enough. I left Sarah in the house by herself and I drove off to my friend’s place. I’ll figure out how to get my name off the lease and I’ll plan to get the rest of my belongings. As for the ring, I will return it this weekend.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Viligans −  Aside from the obvious issues of her behavior, the thing that throws me for the biggest loop is that she didn’t \*immediately\* follow you home. If my partner had become upset enough that they \*left our anniversary vacation early\*,

I would’ve been one step behind them to get home and unfuck whatever mess had been created, even if I thought that they were being unreasonable or dramatic about the whole thing. By staying, she basically said “Your emotions and perspectives are not my priority and never will be” in her actions.

I’m sorry it came to that, but I’m glad your friend is able to help you out and you’re sticking to your own guns on your decision. Hopefully she learns from it; and if not, hopefully it’s a situation you only ever have to encounter once in your life.

xhoneyx_xbeex −  Wishing you the best! Proud of you for putting your foot down. No one should beg for respect in a relationship

BogusBuffalo −  My next question was “Why did you invite your friends in the first place? You knew this was an anniversary trip for US”. She talked about the trip with her friends since the beginning, and they never been to CO. She thought it would be a good idea to allow them to come just so they can have fun in CO with us.

I followed up with my lack of knowledge of her friends coming along until days before. She ‘talked to them from the beginning’ but didn’t bother to mention it to you at all until mere days before. She knew what she was doing. You made the right call, especially the part about her friends being more important than a BF.

She won’t learn anything from this either – she’ll being leaning on those same friends and it’ll reinforce her putting her friends first. Glad you realized what was going on and made the tough call. You can’t start a life with someone who isn’t willing to put you first.

ChiquitaBananaKush −  she didn’t want me to throw 5 years away after this one bad trip. Ouch, she forgot she was in a relationship with you whilst having the best time with her best friends on a trip you planned for her and you. Congrats on stepping up for yourself dude. May you find someone who truly deserves you. 💯

Madea_Tea_1169 −  I read this on Facebook and thought I hope he realizes that she is not ready for a serious relationship. It is sad, but necessary for you to have someone who will give you 💯 percent back to match your 💯 percent. Good luck, take your time. You invested 5 years into this, possibly talk to a therapist or friend who will be able to objectively help you through this. GOOD LUCK

Road-Full −  THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! THATS WHY HES THE MVP! THATS WHY HES THE GOAT! THE GOAT 🐐 But in all seriousness, you put yourself first for the first time in what sounds like a one way relationship. You deserve better, someone who actually cares. Sadly, people have to fall on their face and feel like s**t before they realize what they lost. You have enough self respect where you’ll bounce back and know exactly what you want

creatureshock −  Wow. I’m fully expecting another update where her friends and treating you like crap, and calling you s**t for ruining her life. But reading this, how dense can a person be to not realize after 5 years that someone doing something just for the two of you is just for the two of you.

NoSpankingAllowed −  Glad you found the strength to see yourself as always coming in second, or third, as the case may be. I think you did the right thing. Maybe she will grow up some day or find someone that she actually cares enough about to put first. You will, there’s no doubt. You seem to be an intelligent and well thought out kind of guy. You did good, and have become a shining example of how one should handle these situations when they finally get a glimpse of reality.

StAlvis −  I will always be in 3rd place to her. If her friends come first and you’re third, who’s second?

EvocativeEnigma −  I’m sorry that you feel like you wasted five years, but honestly…. GOOD FOR YOU for walking away instead of giving in and staying just because you’ve been together for so long. I wish you all the luck in the world in finding someone who will be your first priority and best friend partner, the “us against the world” companion you deserve.

What would you have done in this situation? Do you think Sarah’s actions were a dealbreaker, or could they have worked things out? Share your thoughts below!