Update after 5 years: Long-distance girlfriend [28F] has close male friend who likes her, I’m [28M] wondering what to do
A Redditor shared an update to a relationship dilemma involving his long-distance girlfriend and her close male friend who had feelings for her. Years later, he reflects on how she gracefully resolved the issue, leading to a stronger bond between them. Read the heartwarming story below to see how it all unfolded.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/jzcJH
‘ Update after 5 years: Long-distance girlfriend [28F] has close male friend who likes her, I’m [28M] wondering what to do’
I brought up the topic and she was super cool about it. She was surprised and she said that it was just friendship on her side. However, she went up to the guy and asked him if he saw things the same way. He said he didn’t — he was actually into her.
So, she told him that she’s with me and that they need to stop hanging out. It was never an issue after that — we still met him at a few parties, but it didn’t make me feel bad at all. Reading the old post made me smile. It felt like a big issue back then, but she solved it so swiftly.
I’m really thankful to her! We’ve had the most wonderful relationship since then (and even before then). We’re 33 years old now and still going strong together. We moved in together a couple of years ago and it’s been amazing living together, traveling together, being together all the time.
She’s still so sweet, I love her with the bottom of my heart, and it’s obvious she loves me too. You never know how these things will turn out, but ours is a story to fill your hearts with hope and love!
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
CockDaddyKaren − I love getting an update and realizing the original post is from 5 years ago. Your GF did such a wonderful job resolving the issue. Congratulations to you both, you sound like lovely people, both of you 🙂
bettyboo5 − I’ve just read the old post and I thought it’s totally friendship from her side but not his. I’ve had friendships that were most definitely friendship from my side but not the men. They were just using the “friendship” to get in my knickers.
I always had male friends but stopped because it was too much trouble/drama and it was always twisted into being the bad guy. So glad you got things sorted by just speaking to her about it. Followed by her having a conversation. Lovely to hear you still together and very much in love
femmebot9000 − I feel like it’s really interesting to note that someone in the original comment section called what was going on emotionally cheating basically because the friend was a platonic support system for her.
That’s not what emotional cheating is, otherwise my bisexual self would be constantly ‘cheating’ on my husband because every single one of my friends is a ‘potential romantic interest’. Friends provide support, emotional support.
The idea that you can only receive emotional support from your spouse or partner is incredibly hard to live with. We are social beings and if the only person you can lean on is your spouse that really limits options if you’re going through a time when your spouse needs to lean on you and it would be unfair to lean back.
Look up the ring circle of venting if you don’t know what kind of situation would call for this. Essentially, we all need friends. It sucks that OPs GF had found a friend with an ulterior motive but we should all be open to the idea that friends do come in all shapes and sizes and are incredibly valuable for us.
Your spouse cannot be expected to always provide the brunt of emotional support one may need. It’s unfair and unrealistic.
alexdiezg − You’ll probably never read this but thank you for the update. Glad to be hearing that things are going well, even from 5 years later update.
HilariousInHindsight − Absolutely amazing to see one of these posts end the right way. She didn’t call you insecure, controlling, etc. She heard you out, asked the guy and **actually ended the friendship** when she realized it wasn’t healthy for your relationship.
After seeing people rake various OPs over the coals for having concerns about their partners friends over the years, people refuse to cut friends off who have feelings for them, etcetc it’s so refreshing that you guys communicated and handled this the way two adults who love each other should.
pistachi0dream − I hope you no longer feel your prime years were your 20s! Welcome to the over-30 club, it rocks here
HygorBohmHubner − Once again, communication saves the day!
dungeoneyes − Is this really an update about a situation 5 years ago? Am I reading this right lol
mentalfabrications − So happy to hear about how things have gone in the 5 years since! Something you wrote in your prior post struck a nerve with me though and I wanted to respond. The ending of a relationship does not make that relationship a failure.
Nor does it mean that time was wasted. If you are loving being in that relationship, then enjoy it for everything that it is while you are in it! And take those thoughts and feelings into future relationships if and when that one ends.
This was one of the greatest realizations I ever made about relationships. You can have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship that ends. And that’s okay too!
[Reddit User] − This is so sweet! I hope you feel comfortable bringing up issues sooner with her, that original post sounded like you did a lot of thinking when you could have just told her (I know it’s easier said than done). I’m glad it’s going great for you two, you both sound very nice.
Do you think open communication was the key to their success, or was it her swift action that solidified their trust? How would you handle a similar situation in a long-distance relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences below!