Update 3: AITA for breaking up with my fiancee for telling her best friend she was not engaged?

A man (late 20s) who previously broke up with his fiancée after she told her best friend they weren’t engaged has been keeping himself busy with work, hobbies, and gaming. Recently, his ex-mother-in-law (exMIL) reached out to invite him to spend Christmas with her family.

He declined but was informed that his ex-fiancée is now “kinda dating” someone named James. While initially feeling hurt and conflicted about his ex moving on so quickly, he acknowledges the complexity of his emotions and thanks his exMIL for her honesty.

He is still unsure whether to accept her invitation but is leaning toward it, especially for the great food. read the original story below…

For those who want to read the first part : https://aita.pics/NzwtX

Part 2 : https://aita.pics/OIKgc

 

‘ Update 3: AITA for breaking up with my fiancee for telling her best friend she was not engaged ?’

Hello guys, most of you might not remember me cause my original post was 2 months ago, but something happened that I thought was worthy of an update. Well since the breakup I tried to be as busy as possible.

Go to work, gym, play on my new Switch, on weekends I started modding and repairing old consoles (a hobby that turned out to be quite expensive ngl), I even modded my own Switch (sorry Nintendo). And I was managing to get through the days without feeling sad.

Well, yesterday my exMIL called me to catch up on things, she has been calling me every week or so, and invited me to spend Christmas at her house with her family. I immediately refused, because even if I don’t hate my ex, there are other people I would rather spend the holidays with.

But then she said something that kinda made me a bit sad. She said my ex was not going to be there since she was spending her Christmas with James, since they are now “kinda dating” (her words). I replied that I was not sure if I would go. I’m going to be honest, feelings are complex things.

Maybe my pride or ego is hurt, since I feel she moved on really quickly, maybe I still have feelings, I don’t know. 2 months is not a long time when it comes to this stuff. My exMIL noticed my tone changed and said “Look sweetie, it’s up to you, if you want to come, you’re more than welcome”.

I thanked her, we said our goodbyes and hung up. I know how reddit usually respond about those things, so I’m giving my insight rn. My exMIL had no intention of making me sad, she is a really honest person and I do believe she was just explaining that it was ok for me to go, since my ex wouldn’t be there.

So yeah, I’m feeling kinda s**tty right now, but it will pass, maybe I even change my mind and go spend Christmas with them, exMIL’s food is one of the best I ever ate, I wouldn’t mind a free plate lol. And I want to apologize to the people who sent DMs about buying the car, by the time I saw your messages, I already had donated.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Noobagainreddit −  Dude, it hurts like a b**ch and there is no way around that, but see it this way… she was already emotionally cheating on you before and you ended it on your terms and way before you married her. She’s shown you who she really was. So major bullet dodged there. She’s James problem now.. Wish you the best and stay strong!

trayC-lou −  Well keeping a back up plan is exactly that. Take solace in the fact she doesn’t even love this guy cuz if she did she wouldn’t have kept him on the back burner for years but she did…

and that guy will now be crazy jealous and worried he is a second best choice (because he is) PS I’m a 35F and what the FK is wrong with pro wrestling, I watched it in rock/stone cold era (which tbh is when it wa the absolute s**t)

EmptyPomegranete −  Unless you want the drama to continue, you need to pass on going to your ex fiancés family home for Christmas.

AmyOfTheAshTree −  Ugh that’s tough! I’m so glad you updated. Honestly I understand not wanting to go. MIL sounds like she’s being very kind, however I’d still be cautious. She clearly really likes you and I’m pretty sure her daughter and new bf could have a problem with her inviting her ex over for Christmas (and possibly future events).

While you owe them absolutely nothing, there could be more drama down the line if you do go. (I’ve read too many awful MIL stories on this site that include inviting their child’s ex over for the holidays, so perhaps this is colouring my view somewhat.)

Do you have friends to spend the day with, or any family? Wishing you the loveliest holiday season with people you feel loved by and belong to this year.

Visible-Broccoli-381 −  Just to address the comments about me dating my exMIL, although they are indeed funny, this woman is like the mother I never had, so please Chill haha

Lady_gaymer −  I can never wrap my head around people that trash their partners so much like she did. If she felt so negatively why be with you in the first place and why the hell would she accept the proposal? She’s a horrible person and I hope their relationship is miserable.

Maybe he will s**t talk her to his friends and she’ll see how it feels. Trash human beings. That bit about grieving your dad and her complaining is just so low.
Your hobby sounds pretty cool and fun. I’ve always wished I was more tech literate to do stuff like that.

-KristalG- −  Bro, sleep with exMIL. Best revenge. 😀

soradakey −  Dude, she ran to her backup plan when she got her feelings hurt. She’s using him as an emotional tampon until she’s ready to d**p him and find someone else. You didn’t lose, you aren’t lesser, you were just lucky enough to dodge a bullet.

AnonThrowAway072023 −  Sorry Bud, she didn’t move on quickly. Her heart always belonged to James. This all sucks, but just know it would have hurt you 1000X more if you married her then she inevitably had an affair with James She wasn’t your person, Brother.  Now that she is out of the way, you will be free and available when you DO meet her.

Redd_applee −  Honestly, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions after hearing that your ex is “kinda dating” someone else, especially when it feels like it happened so quickly. Like, samee, even if the breakup was for valid reasons,

it’s still tough to see someone you cared about moving on. It doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice, but it does show that feelings are complicated, and healing takes time.

Breakups bring up many mixed emotions, especially when new relationships start quickly. What would you do in this situation—stay distant or spend time with the family? Share your thoughts below!