[UPDATE 2] I [22M] suspect something between my girlfriend [22F] and my friend [21M]. We all live together. Am I imagining things?

A Reddit user (22M) shared an emotional second update on discovering his girlfriend’s betrayal with a close friend while living together. His fears were confirmed, but with the support of his true friends, Brooke and Derek, he’s finding his way forward. Read his detailed update about navigating the aftermath, healing, and reclaiming his independence below.

‘ [UPDATE 2] I [22M] suspect something between my girlfriend [22F] and my friend [21M]. We all live together. Am I imagining things?’

You wonderful motherfuckers. Between the comments to both posts and my inbox I have an immense collection of personalized pep talks, which I am referring to whenever I feel down (admittedly, a lot these days). I got advice/stories from all sorts of people – married, single, old, young…

Wow. I never thought the internet would bring me this level of support. I just want you guys to know that by just typing up some comments you have made a very real difference in someone’s life. Gotta say it feels a little strange receiving 6 reddit gold and making it to /r/bestof just for sharing the worst day of my life, haha.

I got a lot of messages urging me to join redpill. This experience has soured my view of **Alexis.** Not women in general. I got some messages saying I write too well and this is obviously made up. I have two words for you: I wish.

A clarification on the last update: I wasn’t clear about what I see when I walked in. They weren’t literally f**king, they were just sitting on the couch with a deer-in-headlights look that was incredibly incriminating and they both went quiet. It was just obviously not a “hey, guess who dropped by” situation.

Anyways, onto the update. I’ve been extremely busy with the semester ending and I took the majority’s advice to bury my head in work. I’ve spent a lot of time at the library because Alexis never goes there.

In the process of posting the last update I realized how dumb it was that I hadn’t contacted Derek and Brooke with my side. I screen-shotted the text from the cool neighbor, Will. (Side note: all names have been changed except Mark because f**k you Mark). Within the minute Derek was blowing up my phone with calls and texts that made it very apparent he didn’t know anything. At the same time Alexis was sending texts begging me to meet up with her.

I was feeling miserable and sent back a single text to Derek saying I wasn’t feeling up to talking, then put my phone away for the night. In the morning I got a text saying to meet him at my favorite restaurant for dinner and drinks on him, assuring me that no one would be there “not even Brooke.” I haven’t had any appetite since everything went down, but the offer meant a lot and I really did want to see him so I decided to go after classes.

I got to the restaurant first and I had my heart in my throat worrying that Alexis would somehow be there, but she wasn’t. Derek came up to me and gave me a big hug and opened with “Dude, what the f**k.” So here’s where s**t gets a bit crazy and dramatic.

A lot of you suggested that Brooke might side with Alexis or had been covering up for her the whole time. I wasn’t so sure, because while she is closer to Alexis, her and I have been friends for a bit longer. According to Derek, as soon as he told Brooke she was absolutely furious. In his words: “I sort of wanted to b**ch Alexis out but Brooke took care of that… and then some.” Remember how I said Alexis came from a conservative small town?

Her parents had NO idea that we were living together and she constantly stressed that they couldn’t know or they’d cut her off financially. They liked me enough to be polite, but they were constantly worried a relationship would distract her from school and didn’t want her getting pregnant or whatever. Derek said that Brooke demanded Alexis pack her things and find a new place or she’d call up her parents and tell them everything.

Derek told me that later that night Alexis was sitting in the living room hugging a sweater I’d left behind and wailing at the top of her lungs that her life was over when Brooke yelled from her bedroom “Well maybe you shouldn’t have fucked Mark then.” Imagining that moment was kind of funny.

Brooke’s always been a very no-nonsense girl with a hot temper, but I definitely didn’t expect this. It was extremely touching that she took the cheating that seriously. During that dinner all my fears that I’d lost my friends were completely washed away and I was able to choke down a few pieces of sushi.

When we left dinner, Derek promised to let me know when Alexis was gone so I could move back in. I declined his offer, because 1) Even if she does move out everything in that apartment reminds me of her including Derek and Brooke 2) Alexis and Mark probably fucked in my room, so I really don’t want to sleep in it 3) In the current emotional state I’m in I don’t want to be third-wheeling a happy couple, even though I’m sure they’d be considerate.

He understood my points but said to let him know if I changed my mind, because Brooke and Alexis’ friendship seems to be pretty over. This week has been pretty uneventful, but I keep having to dodge Alexis. Luckily, I’m in an undergraduate program that only has 60 students so we have a lot of our classes together.

I asked two friends to keep an eye out for her after giving them a sparknotes of the story, and started showing up to class at the last minute. As far as I know, she only waited outside of one of my classes. I got a text saying “B**ch has been spotted in front of (classroom). Waterworks in progress. Proceed with caution.” I ended up skipping the class, because I didn’t know if she was going to leave and I really didn’t want to risk it.

Later that night she sent me a really long Facebook message explaining everything from the beginning and it sort of made me sick to read, I contemplating not reading it but once I opened it I just had to. She said that he’d been flirty with her in the halls (as I mentioned before, he would say inappropriate s**t to both girls) and she tried to be friendly back, but it must have come off as flirting because he kissed her mid-sentence one day.

She said she felt guilty that she “led him on” and that guilt prevented her from shooting him down in future advances because she felt like it was her fault it happened and she has trouble saying no (???) She said they’d only slept together 3 times and she hated it, he had pushed her into it (“not rape, but..idk I never said yes either”) and she was going to end it during the conversation I walked in on.

She said she understood if I needed some time and some space but that she’d do absolutely anything to “make it right” and would spend the rest of her life making it up to me by:

* Treating me like a king, I’d never have to cook, clean or do my laundry again

* Give me full access to her phone and passwords. She even suggested we install Life360 (an app that allows you to track someone’s location through their phone) so I would know where she is at all times.

* Cut off all contact with Mark and all her male friends (just for good measure, I guess?). * Makeup s** whenever I wanted Yeah, that sounds like a healthy relationship – right? I didn’t answer.

I kind of wanted to keep her on Facebook and watch the s**t show unfold (she was posting dramatic statuses and song lyrics about mistakes, forgiveness and some from “our song”) but I know how I am, I don’t want to compulsively check her page or go through old photos. So I blocked her. Derek sent me a text a few hours later saying “She’s crying and screaming about you blocking her LOL”

In happier news, the family I’m staying with is fantastic. I felt a little guilty about taking up their space, electricity, etc. so I offered to put down rent and pay for some bills (I am unemployed but my family gives me a decent allowance for rent and food) but they declined.

The dad said “First month’s free. If you need more time here then we’ll talk about it.” and winked. My friend was telling me that they have hosted his and his sister’s troubled friends so it wasn’t a big deal. Still, I’m unbelievably grateful.

As for Will, (awesome neighbor) I called him to thank him for everything. I wasn’t up to inviting him for dinner just yet, but I will. He apologized profusely. He says he can’t stand Mark, not just for what he did with Alexis but various other things that I won’t go into. He told me that Mark has been unusually quiet the past few days and told another one of the guys that he had gotten dumped. Whatever. I don’t want to think about it.

So that’s really all I have for you guys. I’m still going to be friends with Derek and Brooke but I’m going to limit my contact with them because they remind me of Alexis so much. I sent Brooke a message thanking her for kicking Alexis out and she said she’d do it regardless of whether or not I move back in. She’s going to give me a heads up on when Alexis is gone so I can get the rest of my things.

In the mean time I’m spending a lot of time studying, applying to grad schools, and hanging out with the guy I’m living with. Earlier this week I posted onto my university’s Facebook group searching for roommates for next semester and I already have a few replies. I’m going to wait until after finals to tell my parents about the situation because my mom asks a million questions about everything and I’m not in the mood to answer them.

Again, thank you thank you thank you for all the messages. I didn’t not expect this level of attention and while it has made me a bit paranoid someone will recognize the story from the details – f**k it I needed the support.. I f**king love you guys.. —

**TL;DR**: Brooke is kicking Alexis out and Derek is still my buddy. I’m doing okay given the circumstances, and I’ll hopefully be finding a new apartment next month.

Check out how the community responded:

somethingcleverer −  Good for you dude! However, don’t cut your friends out because they remind you of that b**ch. You’re going to remember her anyway. If anything you should see Derek and Brooke more. They have your back dude, and everybody needs more people like that in their life. Hey, and way to not be a pussy and take her back. You’re the man, and I hope mark meets a mean dude in a dark alley next time he fucks somebody’s gf.

briwana −  Brooke is officially my homegirl. Oh, and once the pain is less fresh, stick with Derek, Brooke, and Will. They have proven themselves to be some solid friends.

37-pieces-of-flair −  I’m really glad to see the update. And I was much cheered by reading about Brooke verbally beating up on Alexis and kicking her out. 🙂

irondeepbicycle −  “B**ch has been spotted in front of (classroom). Waterworks in progress. Proceed with caution.” Man, whatever friend sent this sounds like a keeper. I laughed pretty hard at this line.

BTW OP, I know it does not help right now AT ALL, but you will get through this. Everyone’s been through at least one awful, s**tty breakup in life, and most everyone heals eventually. Just give it time.

[Reddit User] −  She is f**king despicable. You know, if she had just said “yes, I cheated, I did horrible things to you and I am sorry” fine, that’s still bad, and she’s still a cuntbag, but she had the f**king nerve to insinuate Mark raped her THREE F**KING TIMES and she’s just so docile and weak she couldn’t say no!!Brafuckingvo. OP, your ex is TRULY priceless. What’s next, fake pregnancy?

[Reddit User] −  “I got a lot of messages urging me to join redpill. This experience has soured my view of Alexis. Not women in general.” Lol, way to inadvertently slam /r/theredpill EDIT: WOAH GOLD. WHAT DO I DO!? I’ll JUST BASK IN THE AU.

[Reddit User] −  I’m still going to be friends with Derek and Brooke but I’m going to limit my contact with them because they remind me of Alexis so much Dude, times like these you really find out who your friends are. These are your friends. Take it from somebody who’s made a lot of friends and lost a lot too, when you find good friends you should never let them go lightly.

It might hurt at first, but in time this will be just another anecdote you bring out on Reddit when someone gets cheated on. Don’t lose good friends over this cheating whore’s actions. Otherwise she fucks you up more than she deserves.

hockeyjoker −  “I got a lot of messages urging me to join redpill. This experience has soured my view of Alexis. Not women in general.”. THIS

kahrismatic −  What the f**k is up with the redpillers using this sub to stalk potential new recruits? This isn’t even the first post in the last few hours where someone with girl problems updating mentioned them PMing him (to avoid being called out for the creeps they are presumably, but they’re totally not a cult they promise).

Feels like there should be some sort of warning about their pming trick for people or something. I’d hate to see people who were unaware of what they are getting sucked in.

drewtoli −  You can always make new memories with brooke and derek that wont remind you of alexis. They are the kind of people you need in your life they know what youre going through and they can be a shoulder to cry on. Dont lose contact with them as friends because your ex hurt you. Anyways im glad youre doing good and staying strong. But please dont go to the redpill those guys are all assholes.

It’s inspiring to see someone rise from betrayal with dignity and support. Have you ever had to navigate a similar situation? Share your thoughts or stories below!