UPDATE 2- AITAH for crying when my boyfriend let his best friend’s wife alter the dish I made for dinner?
A Reddit user provides a heartfelt update on her emotional journey after breaking up with her boyfriend, who failed to stand up for her during a humiliating dinner incident. As she works toward healing, she shares the lingering challenges and her resolve to focus on herself and her future. Read the full update below.
For those who haven’t read the previous parts:
Part 1: https://aita.pics/aODCt
Part 2: https://aita.pics/szQvA
‘ UPDATE 2- AITAH for crying when my boyfriend let his best friend’s wife alter the dish I made for dinner?’
I’m again grateful for the barrage of supportive messages and chiding I’ve received from the internet after the cinnamon fiasco and my post causing a breakup.
I am updating because I felt like I should just update about recent events and honestly, after just more than two weeks I have started to feel good about myself, even though I feel like s**t whenever I remember my ex. I really, really hope I can put this whole thing to rest and I don’t have to update again (for my sanity).
Firstly, my ex called a few times last week. I had blocked him earlier, literally like two days after breaking up, and whenever he called my friends they wouldn’t pick up either. I wanted to handle this matter gracefully, and unlike what some people commented, no,
I did not want my issues all over the internet and did not understand what was happening. I just wanted some advice on how to deal with my emotions and didn’t want my friends to be mad at my then-bf. Thankfully, the trash took itself out. I still don’t know if Ellie was racially motivated or if she just hated me.
I don’t even care now. I don’t want a man who makes his friends scold me and humiliate me. I know I deserve to be at least somebody’s first choice. Ex came by at my best friend’s flat.
I don’t live there, and from what I heard from my bestie’s boyfriend, he said he was very sorry and he NOW felt like I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. He had thought, when he broke up with me that I was overreacting and it was just a small thing I made a big deal out of.
But then a few of his friends explained to Ellie that it definitely was a horrible thing to do, and told my ex he was a s**t bf. Huh. Who knew he had nice friends too? Ex didn’t say anything more after that. Just he was sorry and he said he doesn’t want more hurt between us. I have decided to not contact him. I’m just done.
A lecture from my mother on dating i**ot men and crying every night for over a week has made me lethargic, and on top, I am fending off ‘dada’ (bestie’s elder brother’s) insisting that I move in with them for some time because I’m not eating well (my dad said it’s okay if I do, my family trusts my bestie and his family a lot).
Needless to say, my work and studies are suffering. I haven’t heard from Ellie or Dave and I don’t intend to. The person who asked me if I left my ex over a desert, I told her what happened and she was appalled. I dunno what she told my ex, for him to apologize. Honestly, I’m so done with that group’s s**t.
I went to one therapy session and I didn’t feel good. I know I have to keep going for it to actually help me, but I can’t help feeling so down. I have never been so emotionally low in my life and I am officially not dating for the foreseeable future.
I am planning a trip with friends after my final semester of my master’s and I really hope I don’t bring the mood down, for my friends who have been so supportive and have always made me feel I have family, even though I’m away from home.
I don’t know what I would have done without having my best friend and his boyfriend, who keep telling me to drink the pain away and dada keeps on talking about the negative effects of becoming an a**oholic.
Overall, I’m closing this chapter, and I don’t think I’ll need to update again. I’m not ever talking again to Dave and Ellie or my Ex, so I don’t expect any more drama. I just want to settle down to work and graduate properly.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
CherryblockRedWine − “I am officially not dating for the foreseeable future.” This is EXCELLENT! Take some time for yourself. Take care of YOU. You deserve it. You are exactly right to give the therapy a chance to work.
Please take the time to love yourself a little more, and get used to putting yourself first. There’s a reason we are told to put on our own oxygen masks first in an airplane, before helping others! Hugs from this internet stranger, if you’ll have them.
beep_beep_crunch − Other friends of the ex telling him off gives me hope for humanity ngl.
Last_Friend_6350 − What a s**t apology: ‘I thought you were overreacting but *now* because my *friends* say it was a s**tty thing for Ellie to do I have now decided it actually *was* a s**tty thing to do. We all make mistakes amirite?? I mean, it’s quite funny when you think of it – hello?? Hello??’. God, she dodged a cannon.
CatastropheOfAlife − So he broke up with op, basically because his friends were saying she’s making a big deal over nothing. So he did what his friends wanted. Now he’s apologizing because some of his other friends said he should. So he’s still choosing his friends over what was his then partner.
tajajaja − I still don’t know if Ellie was racially motivated. She absolutely was. She literally said that she thought Indian food needed to be brown lmao… that comment is so overwhelming r**ist.
Don’t let people plant doubts in your mind about whether you have been subjected to blatant and obvious racism. Glad you got away from these people.
Ulfasso − Since Ellie seems to be on reddit becuse she found the post;. f**k you Ellie, you s**k.
DangerNoodle1993 − Putting cinammon on Rosogolla is like mixing mayo in hilsa fish curry. An a**mination
MaviSalam36 − It sounds like your ex’s group had serious “pack mentality” going on, with Ellie leading the charge. They seem to follow each other’s lead without thinking. You did the right thing walking away from that.
Props to you for holding your ground! Also, don’t let one awkward therapy session discourage you; the real work in therapy can take time to click. Good luck!
petiteballet − Glad you’re finally closing this chapter! Moving on can be rough, but it sounds like you’ve got some solid friends helping you out. You got this!
Wild_Cauliflower2336 − I agree with Dada. Stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant.
Do you think the Redditor’s decision to cut ties with her ex and prioritize herself was the right move? How do you handle emotional recovery after difficult breakups? Share your advice and support in the comments!
