UPDATE 2: AITA For canceling on our family cruise?
Sometimes, the only way to heal is to step away from the very family you once cherished. In this update, a young woman shares how she finally summoned the courage to cancel on a long-planned family cruise—and ultimately, cut ties with her parents. After years of feeling pressured and hurt by family expectations, she reached out to her favorite aunt, who understood her need for a break for her mental health.
Her supportive aunt’s words gave her the strength to declare that she was done trying to mend a family that continually let her down. Later, when her mom demanded she be home for Christmas to “break apart the family,” she put her foot down, bluntly stating that her parents were the ones responsible for the rift.
The decision to block them was a liberating, if bittersweet, act of self-preservation. Now, feeling empowered and ready to embrace new experiences, she’s off on a ski trip with her boyfriend and leaving behind the weight of family expectations.
Original post: AITA For canceling on our family cruise?
First update post: UPDATE : AITA For canceling on our family cruise?
‘ UPDATE 2: AITA For canceling on our family cruise?’
Expert Opinion:
Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in family boundaries, explains, “When individuals repeatedly face emotional pressure from family members, it’s natural to seek distance as a form of self-care. The act of setting firm boundaries, even to the point of severing ties temporarily, is often necessary for healing.”
Dr. Markham emphasizes that this isn’t about rejecting family altogether, but rather about protecting one’s mental and emotional well-being. “If a person’s environment is causing significant distress, taking a break is a healthy step toward rebuilding a stronger sense of self. The support of empathetic relatives—like the writer’s aunt—is crucial in these moments,” she adds.
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman further notes, “Family dynamics can be incredibly complex, especially when longstanding expectations conflict with personal growth. It is important to honor one’s own needs. When the cost of staying becomes too high, stepping away, even temporarily, can be the catalyst for long-term positive change.”
Together, these experts agree that choosing to prioritize mental health and self-respect over conforming to oppressive family demands is not only justified but commendable.
See what others had to share with OP:
Several redditors expressed overwhelming support for your decision, with one user stating, “You have every right to choose your own happiness. If taking a break from a toxic family environment helps you heal, then don’t let anyone guilt you for it.”
Another group shared their experiences of estrangement and the relief that comes from setting boundaries. One commenter noted, “Sometimes, family expectations are so heavy that stepping away is the only way to start feeling normal again. Your aunt’s support shows that you’re not alone in this journey.”
Ultimately, choosing not to come back and rejecting your family’s expectations isn’t about breaking up the family—it’s about finally acknowledging your own worth. By deciding that you don’t need to conform to toxic demands just to keep the peace, you’ve taken a brave stand for your mental health.
This situation forces us to ask: When do we decide that the cost of staying outweighs the benefits of family unity? Is it ever acceptable to sever ties to preserve your own well-being?
What would you do if you were in a similar situation? Have you ever had to choose between toxic family expectations and your own happiness? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others navigate the delicate balance between family, tradition, and self-care.