Two coworkers (25F ; 35M) are having an affair. How can I inform the wife?

A receptionist shared her frustration and distress after recommending her now-former best friend, Jane, for a job at a prestigious hotel. Jane quickly became involved in an inappropriate affair with John, the chief receptionist, who is married with a newborn.

Despite the signs and her initial disbelief, the situation escalated when Jane confessed to the affair. Since then, the user has been given difficult shifts at work and has considered reporting the affair to HR or the wife, but she has no proof. A disturbing moment occurred when John was seen wearing Jane’s scrunchy while holding his baby, leading to an emotional breakdown.

‘ Two coworkers (25F & 35M) are having an affair. How can I inform the wife?’

I (25F) work as a receptionist. Four months ago, I made the stupid decision to recommend my (now former) best friend “Jane” (25F) for an open position after someone had left. It’s a prestigious hotel, so they are very selective about their hiring process. Jane had little to no experience, so I took a risk by vouching for her.

Looking back, it was dumb, but I knew she was a hard worker and I could’ve never guessed what was to come. I trained her during her first month, and she picked things up quickly. After that we began working separate shifts. It was around this time that I started noticing a weird dynamic between her and “John” (35+? M),

our chief receptionist. One night when I arrived for my shift, I found them acting all giggly and their body language just seemed off. They didn’t notice me at first, but when they did, they tried a little too much to act cool which raised some red flags. There have been too many similar situations over the months, but I tried to deny it.

John just had a baby, and his wife comes at least 4-5 times a week, sometimes with the baby too. Jane sees this as well, and I just couldn’t think she would do something like that. But the awkward tension, quick glances, and giggles just wouldn’t quit, so I brought it up two weeks ago when we were out for drinks.

I was floored by her response. She confessed in a playful manner almost like sharing a dirty secret. She said they couldn’t keep their hands off each other and that she had wanted to “spill the tea”, but didn’t want to involve me in the “drama.” When I brought up his wife and their newborn child, she said she didn’t care.

Apparently John told her they had been sleeping in separate beds, and his wife stopped caring about the marriage after the pregnancy, and other b**lshit like that. I was disgusted and we had a major fight. She stormed off and cut all contact with me. Since then, going to work has been hell.

John is in charge of our shifts and ever since our fight, he’s been giving me the worst shifts and making sure we’re not scheduled together. I’ve considered telling the wife since day one, but I don’t have any proof. Same with our manager and HR. I texted Jane saying, “Tell your boyfriend to stop giving me the worst shifts,”

hoping for a response that could serve as evidence, but she didn’t reply. One week ago, someone got sick, and I had to work with the two evil fucks. Close to our lunch break, John’s wife came in to bring him lunch. She looked tired as hell too, and my heart broke for her. Then I noticed something on John’s wrist.

He had Jane’s scrunchy on his wrist (he also has long hair, but I know for a fact it’s hers). He held and kissed the baby with the f**king. scrunchy. on. his. wrist. I legitimately thought I was gonna throw up. I had a panic attack (I think?) at the smoking area. I was crying and couldn’t breathe.

I come from a divorced family because of my father’s infidelity, so this hits too close to home. I am losing sleep. Please tell me what should I do in this situation? Should I send the wife an anonymous message? I only have her Instagram. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

super_bluecat −  I don’t know about telling the wife but I’d be tempted to tell John – not your friend – that he had better stop giving you the worst shifts just because his gf thinks it’s fun to sleep with a married man.

And the nerve of saying his wife “doesn’t care about the marriage since the baby!” Yeah, she is probably just trying not to lose it with not getting sleep and dealing with a newborn. Man-babies are the worst

[Reddit User] −  Contact the wife. But start looking for a new job too. The fact you’re being bullied for their b**lshit is off the wall

mspooh321 −  we had a major fight. She stormed off and cut all contact with me. Since then, going to work has been hell. John is in charge of our shifts and ever since our fight, he’s been giving me the worst shifts and making sure we’re not scheduled together.

He can’t do that…..it’s retaliation. Report them and report what he did and report the fear that they are having. As for the wife you might first need to get some proof of them (one of the) talking about the affair or just write her a typed letter and give it to her (untraceable and won’t lead back to you).

vitalesan −  Talk to the manager above “John”.

Competitive_Bird_705 −  Find another job, tell the wife, with as much evidence as you can find, dates, times, etc. Do it anonymously. Tell HR if you think they’ll get rid of them both, that way you won’t have to change jobs, but be 100% sure first.

Basic_Quantity_9430 −  Hire an employment lawyer. Go to HR and tell them that your direct supervisor and his employee are having an affair and that when you pointed out to the employee that your supervisor (John) is married with a child, John retaliated by giving you bad shifts.

Have your lawyer point out that you will go to court to get video records of activity in and around your work area and that the video must be preserved. While it is hard to get the video, the threat that you will go to court to get it will cause and HR investigation of John and Jane and HR will likely review video from in and around your work area.

Having the employment lawyer at a meeting with HR is key. Don’t hesitate to file a lawsuit over your treatment and seek damages.

Jtheguy1155 −  If your work place has cameras, I’d bring it up to hr, I doubt they haven’t been seen on camera and let he know that you feel like he is creating an hostile work environment. Make sure you document all this. If that fails reach out to your government system that is in place. After all that is resolved tell the wife anonymously.

PrfsrChaos −  Before you say or do anything… you really, really need to have a new job or some other income to pay your bills. Idc how emotionally charged it is. Times are tough, and you handle your bills first before someone else’s drama.

lucky_lilac555 −  It’s so sad that he claims his wife doesn’t care about the marriage but visits him 3-4 times a week and brings him lunch. That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t care about a marriage.

It sounds like someone who is still making a small effort (which is actually a HUGE effort when you’ve just had a baby) John is a l**r and he sucks ass. His wife deserves the truth.

NoAbalone5077 −  You have my blessings but make sure you provide some evidence