This girl (18f) got pregnant and she and her parents want me (19m) to step up and help her raise her baby (I am not the dad) but I want to go into the Corps. I told her no. I feel bad though. ?
A Redditor (19M) shared a difficult situation where a girl he once had a crush on is asking him to step in as a father figure for her baby, even though he’s not the biological father. She and her parents are pressuring him to take responsibility, asking him to get a job, a place to live, and raise the baby as his own.
However, he has dreams of joining the Corps, and after discussing the matter with his father, who supports his decision to pursue his own future, he declined to get involved. The girl and her parents are upset, with her father calling him ‘not a real man.’ Read the original story below to see how this dilemma unfolded.
‘ This girl (18f) got pregnant and she and her parents want me (19m) to step up and help her raise her baby (I am not the dad) but I want to go into the Corps. I told her no. I feel bad though?’
Basically, this girl I always had a crush on got knocked up by some random l**er and now while she is pregnant she has been wanting to date me. Her parents want me to step up and “be a man”…
So they don’t have to help her take care of the baby for like the next 18 years and have her stay with them (she is not a piece of cake btw)… but the thing is I am not the dad. She said she wants me to be her boyfriend and for me to get a job and a place for her and me to live to help raise “our” kid.
My dad told me to tell her to go f herself and not to put my dreams to the side and that I am so young and just a kid myself and to NEVER ever in my entire life get involved with her.
He said HER baby is NOT my responsibility and he will be heartbroken if I voluntarily take on this burden. He fully supports me going into the Corps. I told her I do not want to get involved with her. Her dad told me I am not a real man.
Check out how the community responded:
shapookya − Her dad says you’re not a real man for not wanting to raise another guy’s child when he himself doesn’t want to raise his grandchild. NTA, obviously. Just leave that trash behind
black-stone-reader − NTA – It isn’t even an question. Do not let them do this to you. I wouldn’t even trust that she really likes you, I’d assume she simply went to you because she knew you liked her and thought you’d be easy to trap so she wouldn’t be a single mother.
Sad_Construction_668 − NTA- she knows you’re going into the service, gonna try to get her and the baby on benefits, you’ll be away, baby daddy still around. Tale as old as time. Or at least as old as the Corps.
youmustb3jokn − Your dad for the win. He is giving you sound advice. And she does not was you to be her boyfriend she wants you to be her victim. It is highly m**ipulative of her and not surprising by her family’s response. This is why having a dad(parent) that looks out for you is so important. Hug that man.
Tall-Negotiation6623 − NTA. Don’t ruin your life for her. You absolutely shouldn’t be responsible for her and her child. She only wants to date you now because she knows you had a crush on her, so she wants to take advantage of you. Get as far away from her as possible.
Nordic_Ant − Why is her dad even looking your way? Did she tell him that YOU are the dad so she does not have to admit who the random dude who IS the dad is???? Red flags galore, run as fast as you can!
Crockodile_Tears − NTA Run, dont walk. This is wrong and, umm, just WRONG
[Reddit User] − Sounds like she only wants you now because she is pregnant and scared of raising a child alone. Don’t do it. Don’t let yourself get manipulated and follow your dreams.
BassPsychological293 − My dad drove me down to the local courthouse in our town to get what is known as a “temporary restraining order” against her and her parents.
She and her parents are not to contact me by any means and if they do I am supposed to notify the sheriff for our town and he will have his officers come by to their house and bring them to the jail. We live in a small town and this is how the courts and law enforcement are set up in our town lmao.
The staff at the courthouse were saying I would have to officially go before a judge and give a reasonable basis for why a real permanent restraining order is needed (this is just the process/the law they were saying bc it is not considered “urgent” and there is no “safety risk” (yet) just “harassment”).
The restraining order could potentially last years or forever if needed. The staff were also saying if she badmouths me to people I could sue her for slander if I really wanted to but it will very likely not be worth the time and money (bc who cares if people I may not even that she knows think something bad of me).
Luckily, though she didn’t go to the same schools and does live in a different town (but nearby) so we likely won’t cross paths (and I will be gone soon anyways) and don’t really know the same people anyways.
Turbulent_Ebb5669 − NTA, your dad is right, this is not a YOU problem
Was it wrong for the young man to stick to his dreams of joining the Corps instead of taking on the responsibility of raising someone else’s child, or should he have stepped up to help? What would you have done in his shoes? Share your thoughts and opinions below!
