AITA for telling my son that village you wanted doesn’t exist since you burnt it to the ground?
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One woman recently shared her experience with her stepson, Nick, who distanced himself from her the moment he turned 18 and has since strained relationships with his siblings as well. After years of little to no contact, Nick suddenly called, asking her to step in as a grandparent and help raise his two daughters. Her blunt response left him upset. Curious about what happened?
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‘AITA for telling my son that village you wanted doesn’t exist since you burnt it to the ground’
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Here’s what people had to say to OP:
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What do you think? So you think OP was a jerk?
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NTA, but, with that being said….. he was a child and was probably hurt by the situation and never had the tools to treat you the way he should have. He probably saw you as the enemy (he should have been in counseling). He reached out and I applauded him for that, yes I know that he technically wanted something from you, but it might also have been his way of trying to repair things. Children who don’t have the skills to maintain healthy relationships grow up to be adults who also don’t have the skills necessary to communicate, apologize, appreciate, etc. Call him back and tell him that if he would still like your help, then the two of you need to talk and work through all of the hurt first. And let him know that the first couple of times you have the children that you would like him to be there also because it would be helpful for them to see you two being mature and kind to one another. Just a suggestion, but I could never imagine not being there for any of my children (blood or not) or for my grandchildren.
Son was the AH, but also had an underdeveloped brain. Once someone reaches 25 you can hold them accountable. Prior to that: it’s up to you. I would give watching the kids a chance. It might fix the relationship. Be the bigger person. If he abuses you, get an out.
NTA You told him a hard truth, and he decided to hang up instead of continuing the conversation and owning his actions where you maybe could have started to build some kind of relationship.
NTA. Nick is certainly old enough to manage the consequences of his own actions. He’s no longer a teenager; there’s no need to soften the blow. At least there are no misunderstandings about your points of view. He go what he played for.