Should I (33F) tell my ex’s (28M) girlfriend that he pathetically contacted me?

A Redditor shared a moral dilemma about whether to inform her ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend about his recent attempt to reconnect with her. After discovering his infidelity during their five-year relationship and ending things, she learned that his current girlfriend had also been deceived in the past.

Now, with her ex emailing apologies and professing regret, she wonders if it’s her place to warn the other woman once again. Read the original story below to see the full context.

‘ Should I (33F) tell my ex’s (28M) girlfriend that he pathetically contacted me?’

Dated my ex (28M) for nearly 5 years…serious, lived together, marriage/family talks…until about 9 months ago I (33F) abruptly found out he was cheating. I ended things (this wasn’t his first indiscretion) and kicked him out. He claimed he wasn’t cheating, just inappropriately texting an old friend, and denied everything.

Less than a week after he moved out, the other girl (who previously didn’t know I existed) found me on social media, saw indications that we had been together for several years, and felt obligated to tell me her story. We engaged in a long, mature discussion to exchange notes and come to find out they had been dating for 2 years.

Her and I were both shocked, disgusted, and amazed by the effort he put into deceiving us both. Ended the conversation politely and went our separate ways. Fast forward to present day, apparently she took him back over 6 months ago and they’ve been dating and living together ever since. Super, don’t care.

However, he emailed me a week ago apologizing, saying losing me was the worst thing to happen, his life has been miserable every day since then, yada yada. So now I face a moral dilemma. I did not and will not be responding, but should I tell his now girlfriend?

She once reached out to me as a courtesy of sorts, do I do the same? The info she gave me insured I would never forgive him or think of taking him back, saving me from further heartbreak. I’d hate for anyone to have to be duped by him like I was. Do I tell her?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

[Reddit User] −  I think given that she reached out to you when the tables were turned, it’s safe to say she’d want to know about this.

UnicornAshes −  I’ve been debating it because I hate unnecessary drama. However, I’m moving out of state in 2 weeks so thinking of waiting until I’m safely out of state before I email her. I don’t want a freshly dumped and desperate ex showing up at my door.

FeliciaIam −  Tell her. And update us

boosnow −  All the replies here ignore the fact that she took him back. After she knew the whole story of how aweful he is, she still took him back. I don’t mean you should not tell her, but don’t expect her to suddenly get some sense of self worth and d**p him.

ROARscaredyoudidntI −  Cc the gf in the emails, replying “please stop contacting me”

OfficialTransWoman −  Tell her. She deserves to know, just like you deserved to know back then.

JustDoIt22 −  Definitely send it. There’s no reason not to do it. But don’t necessarily expect her to respond positively. You say “I’d hate for anyone to have to be duped by him like I was” but she already HAS been duped by him.

And she took him back. She knows what he is (a pathological l**r who dated two women at the same time for two years) and yet she wants to be with him. So I don’t think him reaching out to you will have a massive change on her thoughts about him.. Luckily, you dodged a bullet!

akelew −  She did you the honor, so i think you should return it. If the roles were reversed, she would have.

Arcades −  I would forward the e-mail to her without comment. She has a right to know and you two have compared notes in the past.

Threash78 −  She did you a solid, do the same for her.

What would you do in this situation? Should she tell the girlfriend as a courtesy, just as she was once warned, or is it better to stay out of their lives entirely? How do you balance moral responsibility with personal boundaries in cases like these? Share your thoughts below!

For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/UZrEN