Not the update anyone wanted [Update 2] When I [30 F] say “our bathroom” or “our house” etc, my husband [30 M] always has to point out that it’s *his* house etc?

A 30-year-old woman has discovered that her husband, whom she trusted after a history of sexting issues, may be continuing his infidelity through various dating and messaging apps. After noticing his suspicious behavior during a work trip, she checked his Google Play account and found apps like Tinder, WhatsApp,

and Telegram installed and recently used. This revelation has left her devastated and questioning everything, particularly her previous efforts to paint him in a better light despite warnings from others. She is now unsure whether to confront him with the evidence she has or leave and seek solace with her parents.

‘ Not the update anyone wanted [Update 2] When I [30 F] say “our bathroom” or “our house” etc, my husband [30 M] always has to point out that it’s *his* house etc?’

I’m shaking and crying as I write this. I now understand all the red flag comments on my last posts. I didn’t see it. I trusted him!! I’m so f**king stupid. Here’s what happened: he went on a work trip this week and promised we would sort the house deed stuff when he comes back.

His apology sounded genuine and I believed him as much as I could without the proof yet. Today I just had a weird feeling in my body, his texts about work have been really update-y, like constantly telling me what he’s doing or where he’s going.

I didn’t think anything of it until earlier, when he said he was taking a nap and wouldn’t be on his phone for a few hours. This is weird because the man despises naps, they f**k up his sleep and he feels like s**t after. So I checked his Google play account from our home PC, his Google account is always logged in.

He probably doesn’t know I know this but I can see what apps he has or recently had installed on his phone. Why this is important: when we were dating, he had a severe sexting addiction. We broke up because of it, I had suspicions and caught him.

But we ended up getting back together after he swore up and down it had stopped and even gave me permission to look at his phone whenever I wanted. I eventually stopped checking because I trusted him. A few years have passed and we’re obviously now married with a baby on the way, and I’ve trusted him.

Our intimacy has basically died since I got pregnant but I blamed that more on myself than him because I just don’t feel in the mood or sexy. He never tried anything, so I didn’t have to reject him. It was just like he felt it too I guess. I thought that was normal.

So anyways I looked at his account and saw that he had all the apps he used to use for sexting installed and recently used on his phone. Snapchat, telegram, Whatsapp, Instagram, Tumblr. But the worst one, the one that broke my heart seeing, is that he has tinder installed. Does that mean his work trips he’s actually f**king people?

He’s had a LOT of work trips the past two months since he won’t be able to travel for a while when baby arrives. I’m devastated and angry and I feel so stupid that I was making excuses for him and trying to paint him in a better light when EVERYONE WAS TELLING ME TO RUN. Now idk what to do.

I want to call him and tell him I know, but the only evidence I had is screen shots from the Google play website showing they were installed and recently used. I want to get real evidence because I know he’ll uninstall everything before he’s back.

Part of me wants to just leave and go to my parents house 4 hours away with the pictures printed out for him to find when he gets back… But I don’t think that will solve anything..

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

woman_thorned −  Now is the time to have a big screaming cry in the shower. Because you will say nothing to him.. You will not tip your hand. You call your mom or friend or sister and you scream and cry and then lady you start making plans.

Quietly, safely, you get all your documents in a row. You go buy a burner f**king phone today. You start screencapping and documenting everything you will need later. And you will not say one word to that selfish sack of s**t life- ruiner.

jjgill27 −  Get your name on those deeds before you blow things up. Then really blow things up. In the meantime you can always claim you weren’t feeling good (stress of the deed stuff to speed things up) and went to your parents for a few days.

noonecaresat805 −  Pretend you don’t know anything. Get a lawyer and if you can hire a pi. While that’s going on go to the doctor and get tested for everything. And start looking for a job and daycare near your parents. And then you can surprise him with the divorce papers. And your lawyer can help you set your ducks in a row.

[Reddit User] −  So this is obviously me giving cold advice in the wake of your emotional devastation. I’m sorry this happened to you. You don’t deserve this. — Would it be too bad for your mental health to ‘stick it out’ for a few weeks until your name gets put on the deed?

You deserve security after the end of the relationship. Maybe wrong thing to say, but at least it’s something you can think over.

jamicam −  Part of me wants to just leave and go to my parents house 4 hours away with the pictures printed out for him to find when he gets back. This is a good plan. Do this.

Disastrous-Panda5530 −  Where do your parents live? Are they in another state? If they are I would go there before the baby arrives. Because once the baby is born you won’t be able to just pack up and move to another state. You need to consult with a lawyer.

Even if you aren’t on the deed since you are married you may be entitled to it anyways. A lawyer will be able to advise you on the best way to proceed but as almost everyone has has mentioned, do not let him know you know.

GuardSufficient4160 −  I mean you should divorce of course but proof of cheating would make it easier but probably hard to get. Just don’t fall into a trap of him manipulating you.

modiraura −  Everything everyone else said and get STD tested

Raida7s −  Don’t f**king leave the house. That makes it easier for him to keep it, because you don’t even live there, get it?. You stay there.. You get the paperwork in order.. You keep evidence. You tell your Mother, get a second phone, and stash everything at her place. Take a couple of months, then break up and keep the house m’lady

Advanced-North-6860 −  You don’t need to “solve” anything. You need to get outta there