AITA for not giving my sister my wife’s clothes?
One man recently shared his story to the AmItheA**hole subreddit about how tensions with his sister came to a head after his wife’s passing.
His sister, who hadn’t offered much support during his wife’s battle with cancer, began asking for his late wife’s clothes just months after her death.
When he refused, the situation quickly spiraled, leading to hurtful accusations and family drama.
‘AITA for not giving my sister my wife’s clothes?’
My wife was a corporate lawyer and mediator. She had some very nice work clothes. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was gone in two years. The last six months of her life were hell.
My sister Sarah didn’t do jack sh*t for us of us during that time. My wife never liked her. I do not like her. She is a selfish cow.
At my wife’s wake, she started asking about my wife’s clothes, and I brushed her off. She wanted to pick out a few pieces to “remember my wife by,” and I ignored her.
It’s been six months, and I’ve attended my mom’s birthday, but I’m still not in the mood to deal with people. Then Sarah comes, asking about my wife’s clothes.
I told her my wife wanted me to donate them to this women’s shelter, and she often helped. It will help women in need with their own court cases, court appointments, and job interviews.
My sister Sarah said my wife was even selfish in death. I asked her what the f*ck did she mean? And she started going off on how my wife always thought she was better than her, and it’s not far that the clothes are going to charity and not to family.
I told my sister I would rather see my wife’s clothes lit on fire than on her back. My sister started crying, and my mom came over to see what was wrong. My mom told me to be easy on my sister because she was talking about my wife’s death hard.
The f*cking insanity of that coming out of my mom’s mount made me grab my gift and leave. My mom acts like I had to ruin her birthday by being melodramatic, but I cannot believe their emotional blackmail towards me over fucking clothes that they have no right to.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
bamf1701 says
NTA. Besides the fact that you are following your wife’s wishes, your sister is acting like a vulture. And why is your mother worrying about your sister taking your wife’s death hard when you were the one who lost their wife?
So, no, you are doing nothing wrong. You are still grieving, your sister is treating you like a thrift store, and your mother is completely ignoring your grief because another family member is better at being dramatic.
archetyping101 says
It’s your wife. How dare Sarah mention it at the funeral. Entirely selfish and classless and callous to your pain. And then to bring it up again and say it’s to remember your wife by!!!
She doesn’t care about your wife and never did. And then to insult your deceased wife by calling her selfish…
Your momis also a problem. Sarah is having a hard time with your wife’s death? Really? Not you, the husband?
I’m sorry but your sister and your mom suck. You should reevaluate why they’re in your life and if they deserve to be.
DropstoneTed says
NTA. Your sister is being manipulative, though it’s hard to see if her behavior is driven by jealousy or pure greed. I’d be willing to bet she just wants to find any expensive pieces to sell on Poshmark or something.
Sounds like your mother is suffering from some sort of Stockholm syndrome dealing with your sister. I’m sorry this is what your relationship with your family looks like.
Dangerous_Abalone528 says
What the hell did I just read? She’s demanding clothes and calling your dead wife selfish? For thinking of ways to empower women WHILE DYING?
Be nice because your sister is taking YOUR WIFE’S death hard?
Gonna go with NTA.
I am sorry for your loss.
And that your mother and sister are delusional. I’m not fond of my SIL but FFS if she had cancer you bet your ass I’d be cooking, cleaning and taking care of the dogs for them.
DropstoneTed says
NTA. Your sister is being manipulative, though it’s hard to see if her behavior is driven by jealousy or pure greed. I’d be willing to bet she just wants to find any expensive pieces to sell on Poshmark or something.
Sounds like your mother is suffering from some sort of Stockholm syndrome dealing with your sister. I’m sorry this is what your relationship with your family looks like.
What do you think? So you think OP was a jerk?