Neighbor (40F) keep showing up unannounced to my (24M) house?

A 24-year-old man shared his growing discomfort with a neighbor, Dana (40F), who repeatedly shows up unannounced at his house. Initially, her behavior seemed friendly and neighborly, but her actions—like entering his backyard without permission, inviting herself to dinner, and showing up with her family uninvited during his date—have raised concerns.

The man is unsure if Dana is overstepping due to lack of social awareness or ulterior motives, and he’s hesitant to confront her directly because they are neighbors. Read on for more details about this awkward situation.

‘ Neighbor (40F) keep showing up unannounced to my (24M) house?’

I recently moved into a new house in a small gated community over the summer. This is the first time I’ve lived in a house since I was little. When I moved in I received a lot of welcome gifts from my neighbors since it’s a very tight knit community.

This is how I met most of my neighbors including Dana and her husband. Dana is my next door neighbor. The first time we met Dana came to my front door with her husband and 3 sons to introduce themselves. They brought me homemade cookies as a welcome gift.

Her sons were really into dirt bikes and saw mine in the garage as I was moving in. I told them they could come over and check them out anytime they wanted (I was being nice). Dana never really said anything or gave out any red flags.

The next week I was at work and got a motion notification from one of my cameras. It was video of Dana by herself looking into a window on the side of my house. I maybe thought she was checking to see if I was home and didn’t think much of it.

Then I get a text from her later that day asking me when I would be home since her son’s wanted to come over and check out my bikes. I replied that I would be working late, and she responded that she would let her sons know. Nothing ever really happened for a few weeks.

The second event was a Saturday night she knocked on my front door and asked if I would like to come over for dinner. I didn’t really have much going on so I said sure. I go over to her house, and I’m expecting her family to be there. Nope, it was just her. She said that her family was visiting a family member.

I didn’t want to be rude, so I ended up staying. Dana is a big talker, so I barely got a word in that night. It felt strange, but it was just a conversation. I saw her husband Chris a few days later while checking the mail, and he asked me if I enjoyed Dana’s cooking.

I responded it was great, and I wish he could’ve made it. So I guess he knew about us having dinner and was fine with it. The third event was a few days ago my camera caught Dana walking in my backyard by herself looking into my shed.

I confronted her on the phone, and she said she was just looking for a shovel. I informed her that my tools were in the garage and made sure to let her know I can see everything on my cameras. She apologized for not asking me before coming over.

She later that day sent me a picture of my boat in my driveway asking if I could take her out in it. I left her on read. The latest event happened last night. I had my somewhat new girlfriend over at the house.

We were grilling in the backyard having a good time when all of a sudden Dana shows up with her boys and literally self invited her family to dinner. It was extremely awkward for everyone. I tried telling them that I didn’t have enough for everyone.

Dana claimed that her family wasn’t that hungry. Dana didn’t leave until my girlfriend left. I’m extremely confused if Dana is into me or just has no social awareness. The only thing at this point keeping me from straight up confronting her is that we are neighbors, and have to live next to each other.

Her husband has been nice, and doesn’t give off any strange vibes. What do I tell her to leave me alone? Do I need to wait for her to do something again?. Please help

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

[Reddit User] −  This woman thinks she owns your house. I hate neighbors like this.

magictubesocksofjoy −  get blinds for your windows and keep them shut. motion sensor lights. no trespassing signs. get a security system. just call the cops. going into your property “looking for a shovel” is just testing the waters.

give her an inch and she’ll take a mile and your life will be misery. better she hates you than steals from you.

sambaonsama −  She’s a taker. She just pushes and pushes trying to get as much attention and s**t as possible.. Tell her to f**k off.

Impressive-Fee-16 −  Oh, she definitely wants some of that 24M.

FairyCompetent −  Be more forceful, stop answering the door when you’re not expecting anyone, get comfortable with closing the door in their faces. Whatever is going on, you want less of it in your life. Be standoffish to the point of rudeness, because their behavior has absolutely crossed from weird to rude as hell. 

Wise_woman_1 −  “You remind me a lot of my mom so it’s hard for me to say: You’ve come over multiple times and it makes me uncomfortable as I really value my privacy. Please respect that and don’t come over without an invitation.” If she has anything romantic in mind, the Mom thing should nix it.

Even_Budget2078 −  Oh yuck, I am so sorry, OP. Ugh, I hate people like this. I know this is going to be awkward and difficult but you need to be way more firm and direct. She shows up while you are having dinner with your gf? Don’t be polite and hint “not enough food”. Say “Oh sorry, this isn’t a good time.

We’re having dinner just the two of us” and then STOP TALKING. Allow the silence for as long as needed. Don’t budge. Any scenario “oh, we are hanging out rn just the two of us” “It’s not a good time for visitors for me”, etc.

Don’t explain, don’t offer excuses beyond stating factual things of what you are doing and if you aren’t doing anything just literally “not a good time”,nothing more. If you want to be fake friendly add a vague “maybe another time”.

One other thing. When you stop talking, do not continue on doing things. Don’t keep eating, sit down at the table. Just freeze and look at her in silence. I know this is extremely difficult to do, I do realize that, but it really does work. Get comfortable creating uncomfortable silences.

waxingtheworld −  “Dana, what happened last night can’t repeat. I was on a *date* with someone very special to me. I paid for a house so I could have privacy – if you want to come over, please text or call first. I’m not a child, I’m an adult.

And while it’s none of your business I have had a stalker in the past and all these drop-ins and camera activating is triggering the s**t out of me, so kindly, back off.”

Jen5872 −  Just because she knocks doesn’t mean you have to answer. Leave her texts on read. Put a lock on your gate so they can’t just waltz right into your back yard. 

bopperbopper −  “ Dana when I said you could check out my dirt bikes anytime I guess I didn’t mean literally anytime… I meant give me a text asking me if it’s OK and I’ll add I’ll let you know” “ oh no I have plans we’ll have to get together another time” “Dana please don’t go into my yard without permission “

How would you handle a neighbor who crosses boundaries without seeming malicious? Should the user confront Dana directly, or is there a way to set boundaries tactfully? Share your thoughts and advice below!

For those who want to read the next part : https://aita.pics/WHPgE