My(32m) girlfriend(32f) threatens to abort our child everytime an issue comes up, any advice?

Family and romance can sometimes blur the lines between love and conflict, especially when unresolved past hurts re-emerge to cast shadows on the present. In this story, we follow the emotional journey of a man caught in a relationship where his girlfriend’s painful history and current manipulative behaviors collide with his hopes for a stable future.

The domestic atmosphere, once filled with promise, now feels heavy with unspoken resentments and looming threats that disturb the balance between compassion and self-preservation.

As the couple prepares for parenthood, the stakes have never been higher. The promise of a new life should ideally bring healing and unity, but instead, it has become a battleground for control and emotional abuse. The situation forces one to question how love can survive when past wounds are weaponized against the person who wants nothing more than a healthy, supportive home.

‘ My(32m) girlfriend(32f) threatens to abort our child everytime an issue comes up, any advice?’

Letting the past dictate your present relationship can be a recipe for long-term emotional turmoil. In this case, the poster reveals how his girlfriend’s previous behavior—marked by emotional outbursts during inebriated episodes—has evolved into a more insidious form of manipulation now that she is sober and expecting their child.

Such patterns of behavior can erode trust over time and leave both partners feeling trapped. Emotional manipulation in relationships is a red flag that, if unaddressed, may lead to lasting damage. A closer look at this situation shows a clear pattern of using vulnerability as a tool for control. The girlfriend appears to leverage her past and the impending arrival of their child as weapons whenever the topic of personal boundaries arises.

This tactic not only undermines the poster’s sense of autonomy but also threatens to create a cycle of emotional dependency. It’s a complex dynamic where love becomes entangled with guilt, fear, and an ever-present pressure to compromise personal well-being for the sake of the relationship.

Experts in the field of emotional abuse often emphasize the importance of setting clear boundaries and prioritizing mental health. As Dr. Ramani Durvasula—a clinical psychologist renowned for her work on narcissistic and emotional abuse—notes, “Gaslighting qualifies as a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as ‘that never happened,’ ‘you’re too sensitive,’ or ‘this isn’t that big a deal.’”

This observation is particularly relevant here, as the use of threats—whether to cut ties or manipulate decisions regarding the pregnancy—echoes the classic signs of gaslighting and emotional coercion. Furthermore, the situation extends beyond individual behaviors to touch on broader societal issues. The normalization of emotional manipulation within relationships often leaves vulnerable partners feeling isolated and powerless.

When personal insecurities are exploited, and the future of a child is used as collateral, the emotional damage can be profound. The need for mutual respect and healthy communication is paramount, yet it appears to be compromised here by the recurring patterns of past trauma and current manipulation.

Ultimately, the expert perspective encourages those caught in similar cycles to document abusive behaviors, seek professional guidance, and firmly assert their boundaries. By doing so, they not only protect their emotional health but also lay the groundwork for a more balanced and respectful relationship—should both parties be willing to engage in genuine healing and change.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit community responded with a broadly unified sentiment: many agree that using an unborn child as leverage in relationship conflicts is deeply troubling. Users emphasized that emotional manipulation and threats of drastic actions—such as calling it quits or even suggesting abortion as a bargaining chip—are clear signs of unhealthy behavior.

The consensus urges the poster to prioritize his well-being and the future stability of his family, advocating for clear boundaries and professional support to break free from toxic cycles.